Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2018 14:29:19 GMT -4
Hello Naga!
First off, as a personal note, this was quite the read as the first app I've ever graded in my life.
Either way, I have some gripes about it:
-The healing factor is, generally, way to strong. From fractures to severed limbs themselves, it's just way too strong for an E-Rank. Generally, the maximum healing an E-Rank quirk can do is minor wounds in one post, deeper wounds over a couple. When it comes to bones, it can just slightly assist.
-The Singing ability is way too overloaded for a simple F rank. There's no problem with her being talented, though the amount of things she can do is just too much.
It's not PG-13 AT ALL. Though there were no particularly overly explicit sexual references, the amount of times it is referred is genuinely too much.
As examples: Hypersexual and seductive, her shameless libido stands out first and foremost as her most defining trait,
Due to this insatiable sex drive
she prefers her friendships with a bit of casual sex mixed in,
She lost her virginity at twelve years old,
her most regular and stenuous exercises happen between the sheets
Those being the most flagrant ones, I'd advise to keeping it, at worst, three references. Aside from that, there are a few typos that you should fix before you resubmit everything to the submissions.
Thank you for your patience!
First off, as a personal note, this was quite the read as the first app I've ever graded in my life.
Either way, I have some gripes about it:
-The healing factor is, generally, way to strong. From fractures to severed limbs themselves, it's just way too strong for an E-Rank. Generally, the maximum healing an E-Rank quirk can do is minor wounds in one post, deeper wounds over a couple. When it comes to bones, it can just slightly assist.
-The Singing ability is way too overloaded for a simple F rank. There's no problem with her being talented, though the amount of things she can do is just too much.
It's not PG-13 AT ALL. Though there were no particularly overly explicit sexual references, the amount of times it is referred is genuinely too much.
As examples: Hypersexual and seductive, her shameless libido stands out first and foremost as her most defining trait,
Due to this insatiable sex drive
she prefers her friendships with a bit of casual sex mixed in,
She lost her virginity at twelve years old,
her most regular and stenuous exercises happen between the sheets
Those being the most flagrant ones, I'd advise to keeping it, at worst, three references. Aside from that, there are a few typos that you should fix before you resubmit everything to the submissions.
Thank you for your patience!
