477 Posts
3 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Rin Kurama on May 30, 2018 14:27:07 GMT -4
WORD COUNT: TAGGED: TAGGED: Fluffy Nick was fuming, that much was certain. Still, the girl could sense the desperation in him. Sense how his time was coming to an end, just like that day on the training field. Clinging to him desperately, Rin struggled through grit teeth to let him know; "Niso will defuse the bomb. We will win."[/b] In their own way, they were both desperate to prove that their paths towards victory had been the correct ones. The undead bird was pecking away at his face. All the distractions were working their magic. That is, right until Nick spoke. Rin felt it wash over her like a tidal wave. Anger, fury. This was not the way someone spoke when they were in a training exercise. This was how someone spoke when they were about to kill. The girl, for the first time since joining Yuuei, felt fear.The girl heard the roar, even though it sounded like thunder in a far distance. The girl felt the punch, though it barely hurt. The grip which she had had on his arm immediately came loose, as Rin recoiled backwards. The edge of the containers which had kept them both safe from the fall disappeared underneath her. The girl's arms refused to respond to her call. The girl's legs refused to respond to her call. The world grew ever distant. Instinctively, Rin knew that passing out could result in her death. Instinctively, Rin knew that falling onto the concrete ground of the warehouse without any protection could mean her death. Unable to move her body, there was one element which responded to her distressed call for aid; The quirk. The hardened blood over her wrist came undone, as something which resembled a cape of blood spilled forth. Wrapping around the girl's backside, it was like the cape had become half a protective bubble. Rin was attempting to lift the cape upwards with her kinesis. Anything at all that could slow her descent to the ground. It was all instinct. Landing roughly, to everyone in the warehouse it would sound like a pancake that had been dropped while being flipped; Only many times larger...Rin had lost consciousness on impact. The girl was lying in a small pool of her own blood. The girl's eyes and hair had lost all color; Even her skin had lost most pigmentation. Pale, white, colorless. While unconscious, the girl was still breathing fast and troubled. Sweat from overexertion pouring off of her body in buckets. Rin had nothing more to give. It seemed she had paid quite a high price for victory...?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2018 14:28:23 GMT -4
This thread was great! I loved the setup for the exercise and the tension between characters and how you all made the conflict between the character feel intense. Below you guys will find your individual note and experience points.
EXP
Nick: 24 EXP I liked the way you played your character so seriously, even playing out the fight past the point that just ignoring it would be convenient. While this was interesting it did start to feel a little drawn out until you ran off, which was nice compensation.
Liliana: 22 EXP You played your character well, even hiding her quirk from her own allies where it would have been easier to just tell him. Like I said to Nick this did feel a little drawn out during your second post.
Rin: 39 EXP I like the cooperation with Niso, but I do feel that there was a lack of physical reaction from Rin in regards to Niso's stench. If the other characters could smell it from so far away I would assume it would be much more potent for someone closer. Also, there seemed to be some discrepancy between what Rin saw in the box, which was written out in very nice detail on your end, and the somewhat cleaner description Niso Left. Other than these (which are just suggestions, I'm not docking points) thing you did a fantastic job.
Niso: 30 EXP Despite it being gross I did enjoy how well you described everything, down to the gruesome detail. I would suggest in the future to explain how big your container of corpses are, because for as weak as Niso seems I didn't get the impression it was a small box.
If you have any question about your notes or EXP please feel free to reach out to me.
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