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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Nov 22, 2019 16:35:55 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ Her legs were not important, nothing about her was important that was sure. Where would she stay? She had no place to stay and would she leave her poor baby boy behind? She could not do that to him, he needed his mother or well she wasn't so sure about that, she remembered G offering to take care of the baby alone but look at him! He gave a tattoo to a fifteen year old! She couldn't grasp the idea, she hated it so much, it felt like, and she had no right to feel like that. It wasn't her child. Haruuhi wasn't hers and she would probably not want Hanako to butt in about anything for that matter anyway, only if she protect her against G. Yea sure, she got it. Very loud and clear.
She couldn't stop crying, see she was doing it! She was breaking his heart and she was so stupid, god gracious, could she just not exist at all that would be better. Because for heaven's sake she was ruining everything all the time. Her childhood, her high school, her colleague, her work, why not this as well hm? Why not? Go ahead Hanako destroy every single thing that could have ended up well with your stupid ego and your stupid everything. She told herself. "Because it's the truth. I don't belong here, you do everything yourself, you don't need me for that. You have your perfect idea of kids, you don't need me, heck I do not even know what you like about me?" She didn't want to hear it when he tried to convince her that it was her home, this wasn't her family. "No don't you see it's your family. I tried to adjust, I tried to be there for them but they don't want me as their mother, they just want you to be okay and if that was with me that would be okay enough for them. Can't you see?" She tried to move her leg to be able to fold them correctly under her and not half folded next to her in a position that hurt her hips even more. She did speak but she did not pull her hand back, but she did not feel that anything could convince her. She wasn't the Queen of the castle, she was just the spouse, just the concubine or whatever you wanted to call it. One day her job would be taken by someone they would all like more. Even her son. |
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2,602 Posts
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Male
"G"
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Post by G Hajimari on Nov 22, 2019 16:58:20 GMT -4
"Thats not true! I dont have an idea of kids. I need you. I love you, everything about you. I adore you. And I didnt do this by myself... I mean... I couldnt do it with you. How could I? It happened when we were apart. A-and I told you as soon as I could. I mean... when could I have done that?" when they got back together? Yeah so she can instantly dump him again. When she was in the hospital? Yeah so she could die in a hospital bed from shock. During any other time? Yeah, no. There was no time prior then now. God strike him down there wasnt.
G spoke how this is her home. She shouldnt fool herself that it isnt. It was. It was just as hers as it was his. Hana spoke how they dont want him. But G shook his head "Are you joking me? Because no, I cant see. Who gave you those earrings that you have? Miku. The girl who sees you as her biological mother. The girl who wanted to dye her hair as soon as she learned you were a natural black hair. And Haruuhi? She yelled at me for being weak. For not trying harder to get you back. As soon as she found out that you-know-who messed with us. She went on ahead and punched her in the face. Both of them care about you. They love you and accept you as their mother." he was starting to get teary eyed himself "And most of all. I love you, and I dont want anyone else as my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to make up for the lost time we missed. We've always been together through thick and thin and we always pulled through. Why wouldnt we do it now? B-Besides" he said as he looked towards their house where Kai was probably in his bed
"We have a son. He's not my son, he's our son. He was our team effort. He's beautiful, just like you" G slowly starts to cry "He's probably the best thing I ever did in my life. The only good thing I did. And again" he looks at her "Its all thanks to you"
"Hana. You're a part of our family. You're an important member of the family. Maybe not matriach. But the foundation. You're our foundation. If you're gone, we'll all just crumble and fall without you. We love you. I love you. You changed me and made me a better man. You taught me so much. You broadened my horizons and opened my eyes" he cries "And I wonder, how the hell do you put up with a fuckup like me. I mess up. I always do. And yet somehow, you're still with me. And I consider that every day a blessing" he hugs her and cries on her shoulder now "How can I possibly think after that ... that you're not important or that you dont belong here. How can you possibly think that? I love you. I love you. Get that. Understand that. I dont want just kids. I want you and Im ready to bow down and beg for you to stay with me. I'll do whatever it takes. Kiss your feet, tear out my eyes, anything. I want you more then anything. I dont want to lose you. I love you Hanako Mizuki. You're my hero. If you didnt exist. If you werent born. I would have probably hanged myself." and would've been buried in a shallow grave |
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Nov 22, 2019 17:47:26 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ She didn't want to hear it, she pushed him away again with the little bit of pressure she could put to let him let her go and she pushed her hands against her hears. She didn't want to hear it, she could not make rational decisions if he said he loved her. She loved him but this doesn't work. This shouldn't, this couldn . "You could have told me when I was in the hospital, during the festival, you could have told me before because she must have wanted it the moment she got the scar which was in december but I-I wasn't important enough. You made a mistake, a tattoo on a little girl? Do you know the society you live in? Do you understand the old-fashioned feelings that people say they don't feel but they do and they judge behind the curtains, behind every closed door. They will, if she isn't going to be a hero, it would be for the sake of hers that she hides it for the rest of her life. There were so many other solutions to get rid of a scar, how do you think I have none?" With the clumsy human being that she was, why did no one ever ask her. Why did no one ever catched her when she... fell. She stared at him as he held her hands and moved her hands away from her ears. She wasn't joking, she was goddamn serious and she pulled her hands back and simply rubbed her wrist, even if he did not hurt her. It was just everything. Her everything, wanting to be with him, yet breaking her own heart. Everything. Did she want to dye her hair? Hanako stared at him, she didn't want to hear it, she kept shaking her head, he should shut up. Just shut up! They came to Kyoto to get her back, Haruuhi called her mom, she shivered, she didn't want to think about it. He shouldn't convince her, they were doomed together. She stopped moving as soon as she noticed it was G who was crying and she felt her mouth open, she had to say something. He shouldn't cry, she should protect him from pain, but he had to understand. They both had to. He again said he loved her and she felt the lump in her throat only be more of a breaking issue for her breathing. She hiccuped again. She followed his look towards the house. He shouldn't have said it like that, team effort, he forced their.. no, please no. She didn't want to finish the thoughts. She didn't want Elena in her mind. She did not want to think about it, she did not want to hear, she was the one who called him back. Who panicked when she heard about him in the hospital and she noticed how her breathing quickened. What would she do if she already panicked now about it? She could not get away from him. She could not even imagine someone else being with him. She didn't want to imagine it. But he was very beautiful. She looked at her hands as he still held them, "Don't. Please." She whined.But instead of stopping, he continued. He said it again, I love you. That was the third time and she had not had the courage and the words would not tumble of her lips. She made another whimpering sound as she heard him about talking that she changed him and he cried now. "I am sorry." She could not do this, he said it a fourth time, fifth time. She stared at him with, fear in her eyes, "No don't." She wasn't even sure if he would or would not do it, she stared at him in fear. "I don't want to live without you either." She didn't know what she wanted and that hurt so so much that she wanted it to stop. She was not sure how to fix it, which made her cry again and she wiped away the tears away from his cheeks. "I don't mean to hurt you but I can't take it. I don't feel well, I am not good enough. I am in your way, I can't keep up with your life." She was a danger to them before with her Scandal blog and look what that got her and look with how he was a vigilante, she was just a stupid quirkless. |
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
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27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Nov 24, 2019 10:08:51 GMT -4
"N-No" he faltered a bit, but soon regained his composure "I couldnt. You were already, sad, down, depressed and everything. Those days, the festival and the picnic. It was my goal to make you happy. And think about it, when could have I possibly said that? We had a wonderful time, why would I ruin the day with this news?" G told her But Hana then asked him does he know what society he lives in, how old fashioned and ass backwards these people are. He listened to Hana speak and he looked down.
"I... I dont know" he said when she mentioned her scars "I never thought about that"
She pulled her hands back and rubbed her wrists. G spoke to her, he noticed Hana didnt want to hear it, but he went on. Eventually Hana said "I'm sorry" he was worried for a second, but was set at ease when she spoke that she doesnt want to live without him either. She said she didnt mean to hurt him, but she said that she cant take it, she doesnt feel good enough, as if she's in his way. "H-Honey. Thats not true. You're not good enough? You're perfect. You're the ying to my yang. And if you cant keep up with my lifestyle, I'll change. I'll slow down. I want to change. I want to mellow down and be normal. And I cant do that without you. I need your guidance so I can become a smart and responcible man. Just like you are." He said and touched her hand, he didnt hold it, but touch it "I want to be like you. A smart decision maker and overall a better person"There was one thought that did come to G's mind. They both thought in different ways. Hana thinks with her brain, she is smart and rational with her choices. But G, he thinks with his heart, with his emotions. He does what he feels is right. Not what is right. The tattoo question came when he chased her, when they had an emotional talk. Haruuhi asked for it, at the just the right time. And it happened. He honestly never even thought about what Hana said and how ass backwards and judgemental the japanese people are as G himself had this western mentality. And with Hana absent and not able to balance him,... this all happened. Oh Hana, this was proof G needed you.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Nov 26, 2019 14:18:30 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ She did not want to look at him, maybe he got a point but maybe he did not. She wasn't sure, yes the picnic and the festival had made her happy but they had been together. "I would be sad that it happened but I could have given advice not- it doesn't matter." She did not finish her sentence, there was nothing to actually say about it. On one hand she really appreciated it that he did not want to ruin her day but she wasn't sure what she would do. She wasn't made to be a mom of a teenager already, technically she wasn't made to be a mom at all yet. It was a very cute baby, a very perfect baby but she was a horrible mother and she hated it and she hated everything about it and she hated herself right now. She had to talk, she had to point out how Japan worked to the Hawaiian man because he did not seem to get it. She kept her eyes away from him, she could not look at him at all. She did not want to talk about it, not whatever it took, she did not want anything to get worse than it already was. She finally looked at G, through her lashes. She did not dare to look at him directly but she wanted to hear more from the romance words he spoke. Ying to his yang. But she bit her lip, trying to stop crying because it wasn't fair. "I don't know." She did not know if she wanted him to change, she did not want him to change for her, for anything. "I-I don't want you to change, I fell in love with you, maybe slowing down is better for my heart rate or so I don't know." She wasn't sure about anything right now, she had a baby and she couldn't cope now that they were home. She watched him stroke her hand and she let him. She wasn't sure what to say about it, "I don't feel like that at this moment." She tried to get up but whimpered because she could not move up her upper body with her legs. "C-can we go to the hospital?" She asked him and she held on to his hand now because it hurt too much and she felt like crying again, could Goliath get Kai, would that be reasonable? |
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2,602 Posts
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"G"
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Post by G Hajimari on Nov 28, 2019 11:22:36 GMT -4
Apparently Hana thought he could've told her there and then at the picnic or festival, G simply disagreed, it would be another case of 'why didnt you tell me sooner'. There was no winning it that scenario. In retrospect he thought a tattoo was a good idea, and well... a tiny piece of him feared that Hana didnt want him anymore. But still, there was no use to make excuses, a mistake was a mistake. Now he had to focus on how to correct that mistake.
After some talking, Hana finally looked at him and she spoke. He appreciated how she said that she doesnt want him to change, that really meant to him and touched him that sentence, but she did agree that slowing down was perhaps the best. G nodded in agreement, because after all he needed to think about the future. He did not plan to be a Vigilante forever, sooner or later he would retire, which idealy would be next year or 2 years later. Depending when Miku and Haruuhi graduate UA to become full fledged Pro Heroes. After that, he could just be a civi dad and take care of Hana and their little one.
Hana then asked G if they can go to the hospital. G nodded "O-of course. J-Just a second. Ok?" he said and then gently picked her up to take her home and sit her on a couch "I-Is this ok?" if it was, then he'd call an amulance to pick them up and explain the situation, if the couch didnt work out for Hana, he'd place her somewhere more comftarble.
After everything was set and done, he waited with Hana and Kai for the ambulance to arrive. He made sure to keep them both company and to try to keep them in high spirits. He had to. He had to make it up to them. |
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Nov 28, 2019 17:05:45 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ She whined a little when he picked her up, her legs hurt so much that she felt it through her whole body when he lifted her up, but she held very strictly onto him, she did not want to look in the eye and she nodded when he put her on the couch. She wanted to go now and it tore her apart that she did not even consider taking Kai with her. Who cares, he could be left here, god he should, yes all the better. Who cared. She wanted to shake G when they still did not move, she had missed that he called an ambulance. and she looked at her son and she wasn't sure if she should hold him or be far away from him but when she tried to get up, which didn't go well, she whimpered again. She also fell back down onto the couch, "Why aren't we going, I am in pain, baby please, I don't want this punishment?" She whimpered, she had no idea what was going anymore and she felt like going mad more by the minute. It was only that she calmed down when she saw the ambulance and was lifted up to be brought into the vehicle and brought to the hospital with her husband and son with her. But she did not look at them. She did no longer say a word, only cried in pain. She would cry a lot and she would not know what to do and she pulled and fiddled with her hair.She wasn't sure what all these feelings were and they were strange and contradicting and it hurt her to even think the thoughts she thought. Within the hospital, she was taken aside and the nurse had to stop G and Kai from following Hanako. "I am sorry, we need to have a moment to observe her legs and the pain rate as well as anything." It might look like they did not trust G to be there to answer for Hanako, while they have to figure it out. "Could you please answer a few questions for me," the nurse asked though rather politely. "Did you notice before the pain she was in? Did you have any idea that she was in pain or has she had any other moments that she kept on crying?" The nurse did look worried, she wasn't sure if G had noticed and she smiled shortly at the baby boy who seemed to be holding on to his father mostly, "I am sorry, Sir. We have a slight idea of what is going on with miss Mizuki but we need to know anything that seemed out of the normal behaviour that she showed before." Which was probably a very difficult question to ask but it was asked anyway. In the meantime they had managed to calm down Hanako but with every thing they offered her for calming options she called out that she was a mother and she couldn't which had taken a bit of time but now she was dozed off as they were checking her muscles and the rest of her legs. |
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2,602 Posts
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Male
"G"
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Post by G Hajimari on Dec 3, 2019 12:48:13 GMT -4
Hana asked why werent they going, she was in great pain, she said she doesnt want this punishment. That sentence pained G to hear, but he had to be strong "H-Honey, the ambulance will come and pick us up. B-Besides, I want to take Kai with us" he said. Soon the ambulance came, and went to pick up Hana, G said to wait a moment and then he ran to get Kai. He held their baby and went with Hana and the ambulance. She cried in pain, and G had to hide his tears by not shedding them. He had to be strong, Hana was crying, he couldnt cheer her up, he had to at least prevent Kai from crying.
They finally arrived, the ride felt like an eternity. G and Kai were stopped though as Hana needed a proper check up. G didnt like the look that he was given. Did they think he pushed her or harmed her? That thought made him tremble a bit. The nurse asked G questions, and G answered them to the best of his abilities. The nurse could see he was a bit insecure and not confident in his answers, he self doubted and stuttered a lot, as well as he had to gently shush Kai if the baby felt like crying. So G was pretty busy and stressed from all sides.
The nurse apologized and said she has a slight idea of what was going on. That intrigued G. "Can you tell me what it is?" he asked. He wanted to know what it was, and if he could help in any way in the future when they were all home. He was sad and worried and he felt guilty. He felt that he caused all of this. But he had to... right?
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Dec 4, 2019 16:33:00 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ Everything was hasy and she didn't get what was going and she didn't understand why everything was taking so long, why else would she have asked him, why was he punishing her? She didn't get it, and she couldn't see and she cried because of the pain and already forgot that he answered that the ambulance was coming and that they had to take Kai but he was holding Kai, why take Kai, he could stay here. Let him be punished. She did not want the baby to ruin everything, she wanted him gone and she cried only more because she did not want that and she had no eyes for anyone else anymore when the ambulance was there and she hiccuped to answer the people from the ambulance and they had to calm her a lot before she could finally give answers and they took blood samples and talked to her, very calming until she stopped crying. She did not dare to look at Kai and G. It was their son that was staring with big eyes at her before looking back to his father, he did not understood a single thing and it was her fault. If she had been more careful and she hiccuped again, she shouldn't cry. In the hospital, she was taken separately from G and talked with more of the doctors there and the nurse. The same nurse would step outside to talk to G and ask him some questions. They first had to make sure that he did not abuse the woman that was now still hysteric in the hospital bed but the doctors and the nurse had seen such thing before and with her file it was easy enough to understand where the pain came from and as it was clear that she had fallen, another question the nurse asked, they could form a small and still unstable decision on what they thought might be happening. They asked about mood swings and anything that could give them a better insight, when the nurse was done and believed G had no influence on the circumstances, the answer could be given. "Have you ever heard of postpartum depression, sir?" A few of the obvious pointers had been there but during her stay in the hospital, Hanako had shown no such indicators so it had been quite a surprise to the hospital staff that it showed up now. "It's a depression that comes after the pregnancy, with her fall and the abrupt birth and her unwillingness at first to be a mother, it is quite severe for what we believe it is. The Doctor and psychiatrist are talking to her to make sure that the diagnosis is correct if so we can give her medicine for her mood swings." And the emotional overload that she had when it came to all of this. Of course, the hospital had no idea why it triggered now, that was up to G to say or not to say but for now, the nurse asked if he had more questions before she would continue herself and let him wait on the chairs opposite Hanako's room. |
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2,602 Posts
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27 Years
Male
"G"
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Post by G Hajimari on Dec 7, 2019 13:52:59 GMT -4
"I... erm... no. What is that?" G asked the nurse, this was overwhelming to him. The nurse explained what was going on, it was a depression that comes after the pregnancy. The nurse spoke more and G nodded. He asked for a chair, and he was given one. So he sat down with Kai
"Will she be alright?" he asked the nurse worried
G kissed Kai on the cheek and did whatever it takes to make the baby boy calm. He was sure, Kai can feel G's stress and worry. He was sure babies could feel that and that it can unsettle them and make them cry. Thats why G had to keep calm. But soon Kai grabbed G's hair and started playing with it, buut since his was obviously short, it would hurt G whenever the curious baby would try to pull
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow" G would say in a monotone voice each time Kai would tug at it.
He seriously needed a bit of help with babies. And well, with Hana too
"How will I do this? What if I end up in a hospital?" G thought to himself worriedly. What if he gets injured, what if he has a heart attack or a panic attack? Worry worry worry.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Dec 9, 2019 6:37:55 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ It could never be easy for both sides to hear if something was wrong. Mental health issues were difficult to understand for some and difficult to explain as well. The nurse offered the seat that was there opposite Hanako's room. Thank god you could not hear the sound of her crying in the hallway, that might have made matters worse. She asked if she should get him a drink and if the baby was okay, her judgement might be harsh before but by the expression of the man in front of her, the nurse calmed her harsh tone a little. "That is up to the medication sir, we think she would react to it well and she can just continue. It will block her moodswings, the hormones that basically work against her and she be just her with a little help. It is good to talk though. We advice her to talk to a psychiatrist but that's up to her to decide." The nurse watched the two of them a little while before she left them to grab some water and see how the cases were going. Kai would eventually stop pulling G's hair and looked with his big blue baby eyes at his father. He didn't get it. He didn't get anything at all and wasn't sure if he should cry or not. "Ah" but it wasn't literally a word or so, just a sound he made and looked at his father. He didn't get it. When the nurse returned with the glass of water, she offered to take the baby a little while so G could go in and talk to Hanako, the doctor and psychiatrist just came out of the room at the moment she offered it. The doctor left and the psychiatrist waited and talked shortly with the nurse and G about being careful but that she was stable and had a pain killer for her legs as well as the anti-depressive medication. She was asking for him now and so they waited to see what G would do. |
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2,602 Posts
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"G"
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Post by G Hajimari on Dec 9, 2019 17:12:55 GMT -4
The nurse told him terrible stuff, he doesnt want to think about medicine or a psychiatrist, and eventually she left. So Kai and G were alone, G had to hold his tears not to upset Kai, speaking of which, the precious baby stopped pulling G's hair, and said something or made a sound. It was as simple as "ah"
G looked at Kai, surprised. He spoke to the baby "C-Can you do that again?" he wanted to hear his sons voice, but then again, he didnt want to without Hana. He wanted Kai to speak when both parents were present. G could feel his heart shaking. The nurse returned with a glass of water right on time. So thats where she went.
"I umm...I see. Very well" G said, he hesitated, but considering she was asking for G, he decided to oblidge and go. First he took a deep breath, put up a brave face and then he went to see Hana. He hoped she was fine. He hoped he would be fine. He hoped they would be fine. He made his way to her to see how she was doing and what she was going to say, since she called for him
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Dec 9, 2019 17:31:22 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ She was still a bit shaky and crying but she lifted up her hands immediately when she saw him. She must have hurt him, "I am so sorry, I am sorry." And she cried again, she shook a little, she tried to stop. She tried to wipe away her tears and hiccuped again, "I am sorry, I love-love you." She hiccuped and tried to sit up a little straighter but that hurt but she wanted him to hold her and she wanted to hold him as well. She still wasn't happy but she could after the talk with the psychiatrist at least feel a little less crazy and she also knew that she had not made a real mistake yet. She wasn't making mistakes, she still loved him and it was just circumstances that had broken her now but she could probably put the pieces back again. She knew they would manage again, she was maybe a little bit happy. Mostly she was tired and the pain at least subdued, she wanted to get out of here but she had to stay for a bit more as they were waiting for the results of her blood test. She felt miserable for sure but she tried to convince her that it was just an illness and that with his help, she would get over it and it would be fine, it would all be fine, right? |
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2,602 Posts
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27 Years
Male
"G"
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Post by G Hajimari on Dec 10, 2019 6:08:49 GMT -4
Hana was still a bit shaky and crying, she lifted her hands right away when she saw him. As soon as he arrived she quickly apologized again and again and told him she loves him. G walked over to her and gently hugged her
"SHhhh.... shhhh. Its ok. Its ok. Just let it all out" he said in a calm whisper voice. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Dont blame yourself for anything. We'll make things better, I promise"
"I will change" he thought to himself. He didnt say it, he decided on that. It wasnt something that would be seen instantly right away. But it was something he would work on. He has to prevent these tears. This was all his fault. But now, he didnt want to think about that or anything, instead he focused on Hana, gently hugging her. As if she was made of fragile glass, that is how careful he was and how gentle he was with her. His goal was to be better and support his family. Besides, he wanted Hana to hear Kai speak, even if it was just a cute baby 'ah'. But right now G did not mention Kai. He just focused on the two of them
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Dec 12, 2019 10:16:01 GMT -4
all the pieces lie where they fell... ♥ She wanted him to hold her, and she could not stop and say sorry. She had to apologize, for the worry, for everything. She had to say so much. But he held her and she cried even more and she nodded. She tried to be silent, she tried to take deep breaths and stop crying eventually. And she simply hid her face in the crook of his neck because she did not want to be seen, she felt so vulnerable and lost. She held on to him, as tightly as she could, folding his shirt in her hands as she had to hold on but not hurt him. Yes, everything would be better, they would be fine and eventually, it took a bit. They were silent for a while and she simply said nothing, made no noise but her shoulders shook. When she finally calmed down a little, she pushed him off her and stared at him. "Where is Kai?" She almost got out of the bed immediately, they did not forget her baby right? But that's when the nurse came in to show their little baby and she cried again. She would not be able to hold him because she did not feel competent for that but she wanted to see him. "Can we go home?" She asked the other two adults in the room. She wasn't sure what to say, what to consider, she wanted to be home and forget what happened, forget how utterly miserable she felt. The nurse gave a nod and if she was able to give the baby boy to its father, she would continue to bring Hanako her clothes and left the two alone. Hanako looked at G, could they? Could they really return home? Could it all be fine or what would they do now? |
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