Everything to Lose [Rin & Tetsuko]

The past was a funny thing. It didn't exist, not truly, outside of the minds of those who'd lived it. Yet within that fragile existence, within that frail and delicate being, it wielded incredible influence. Some loathed their past. They feared it, they hated it, or simply wished to escape it. Tragedies and pain colored the path they'd taken to where they were now, and for some, it seemed like the only way to continue forward was to turn their eyes away from the path they'd already walked. For some, the past was powerful, but its existence weak enough to still be abandoned, ignored, discarded and moved on from. They took the meaningful parts from it, the lessons learned and bonds forged, and moved forward, leaving the pain behind.

Some people were not quite as wise with how they handled the past. Some held onto it, not unwillingly, but instead allowing it to shackle them, looking past the dirt and grime and becoming enamored with the rare, glistening memories that were intertwined with that path. And then, rather than taking the precious and important parts, they clung to the entirety of their past, of their origins, afraid to let go and unwilling to believe an uncertain future was worth being free of their shackles. It was a damned fate, to resist change, to struggle against the weathering of time. Whether it was more damned than discarding one's past entirely, who could say?

As she sat waiting in the calm Tokyo Park, Tetsuko knew without a debt where she stood along that line. To let the past slip away, to understand it's worth, or to hold onto it so tightly that your knuckles turned white. She couldn't but wonder where the other figures in this bizarre tragedy fell on this spectrum. Rin, Elise, even Nick Cross... How had their pasts defined them? How did the desire to make the most of one's past bring them to this point... Had Tetsuko herself suffered for turning her eyes away from the future, with all its uncertainty and doubt, or had she not held on tightly enough to the past she could not lose?

Her addled thoughts were broken by the sound of footsteps piercing through the still air, soft yet present as Tetsuko's whole body tensed up, and one of this tragedies more central character's made their arrival. Everything Tetsu had thought she might say to Rin, completely exited her mind, and all the Shindou girl could think of was what she'd heard that night. Nick Cross... A boy Tetsuko knew next to nothing about, a boy she was only aware was a former student of UA, had claimed Rin was his. He'd been the one to cause all of Rin's suffering, as said by Elise herself. What exactly that meant... Tetsuko could only imagine.  The dark secrets Rin Kurama had been hiding had come to the light, as did the meaning behind her flight that night, though the swordswoman... Didn't want to yet assume the worst. She knew everything she needed to. It was all laid out, so simply before her.

Tetsuko had not been able Elise's actions at music night.
Tetsuko had not been able to find Rin quickly enough after hearing herself and Nick so close by.
Tetsuko had not been able to stop the suffering that was to follow, from both her and Elise.
Tetsuko had not been able to get there in time to prevent Nick from hurting Eli too.

Every single failure came back to her, back to her inability to act with any agency in the present, leaving her sitting idly by while her past was torn apart before her. Guilt washed over Tetsuko, who was deathly silent and still as Rin approached. The swordswoman was leaned back against the bench, her hands on her thighs in what seemed to be a dignified position, but was instead one of restraint, of solitude. She was shackled by the weight of what she had to do, the weight of what she hadn't done. Tetsuko's loathing wasn't all inwardly directed, and some smaller part of her wanted to blame it on another, to make things so much simpler by giving her an enemy she need only cut down. Yet, things weren't that simple, and no amount of wishful thinking could make them so.

Rin was sat beside Tetsuko soon enough, the breeze picking up for a moment as they sat in complete silence, Tetsuko's mouth opening briefly but closing quickly. All the planning she'd done, the warpath she'd been on, it all faded away in a matter of moments. What right did she have asking Rin for help? What right, after her incompetence had brought all this ruin around them... For a moment, Tetsuko's body twitched with unease, and she felt like fleeing again, until a simple fact crossed her mind. This was not about her.

Tetsuko didn't deserve to ask for Rin's help.

Elise, on the other hand, deserved all the help she could get.

The swordswoman inhaled, exhaled, and spoke. "Thank you for coming, Rin-san." Her words were quiet, wrought with conviction, yet also fragile, on the verge of falling apart. Tetsuko paused with each sentence, doing her damndest to stay composed. "Thank you... For calling me, the other night. I'm sorry, I... I didn't... I couldn't... Get there in time. To... Stop him." She inhaled deeply again, struggling to keep it all together. She couldn't cry, no pity or sorrow for her, not when Elise was still fighting so close by. Tetsuko Shindou had to be the warrior, she deserved no other role.

"There's nothing more we need to say about that night. I won't... I won't ask anything..." Tetsuko could worry about finding Nick Cross later, for now, there were greater concerns, and she saw no point in rushing to the heart of the matter. "What I called you here for is... Elise... She..."

Another deep breath. Her lip quivered, her entire body felt like it would collapse, but she held on.

"She's in a coma."

Tetsuko didn't leave it there, however, knowing how those words alone had hurt her... And knowing the cruel hope she'd recieved later. The cruel hope she'd now mercilessly share.

"... But she's fighting. Hard. I just... Need your help..."

A burden was defined, in its most basic and literal terms, as merely being a load of significant weight that one carried. That 'weight' was what defined it. Rin Kurama and Tetsuko Shindou, were, conversely, people defined in many ways by the burdens they carried... By the 'weight' they carried. The weight of their own guilt, above all else, that dictated to each of them that there was no one else to blame for the events of that night but themselves. That mutual desire to carry the weight of their burden alone, it led to some... Interesting conflicts of opinion between the two. It was because they were so similar in that regard, that their own independent perspectives could not coexist, yet at the same time, they each understood one another's actions in no small way...

Indeed, just like Rin had only arrived because of the topic of conversation, that being Elise von Eisenberg herself, the same lone reason Tetsuko had been able to call Rin for help was also that kind Germanic girl, and because of Tetsuko's own failures that night. The swordswoman was painfully aware of the fact that she did not deserve to ask Rin for help, that to do so was an incredible arrogance, that it was asking for forgiveness and oversight that most would scoff at. Even doing it now disgusted her, the idea that Tetsuko Shindou had the gall and foolishness to seek help from someone she'd failed, just because the swordswoman herself was too inept to handle things alone... There were very few things as insulting to one's honor, yet just like Rin, Tetsuko had gone against that nature in favor of Elise. In favor, not of letting Tetsuko have the things she didn't deserve, but of giving Elise the things she did.

It was a one-track devotion to making up for her wrongdoings, to letting Elise live the life she deserved, free of her reliance on this useless knight, that let Tetsuko continue down her warpath to enlisting the help of others, even if she felt like running at times from her own mistakes... It was that warpath of hers that even let Tetsuko call-up the person she'd wronged in the past, that let Tetsuko carry on through the strange conflict that arose. Rin's brief, emotional outburst was followed by a brief silence from Tetsuko, whose expression remained unchanged, unconvinced. Elise... Had been right from the start, hadn't she? They really were alike...

"I'm sorry, Rin-san. I know... That maybe... I should be upset with you, for that, but... I'm not. You weren't the one that failed your responsibilities." Tetsuko uttered quietly, her voice fragile and impossibly resolute, her hands trembling lightly against her thighs as she spoke. "You aren't the one Eli has always been relying on... You're not the one who swore to protect her. You're not the one who let her call you her 'knight'." The swordswoman scoffed out that last sentence, as though the very idea now seemed entirely asinine. Her voice was growing tenser, more wrought with frustration as her eyes built up moisture. "It was Elise's decision that she step in... Not yours. Then, so many else ran, so... Short of blaming everyone... It's only right to blame the one fucking person who Elise... R-Relied on, to be there for her. I'm the one who failed my responsibilities." The profanity had quite a bite to it. from the lips of someone normally so upright and dignified. Tetsuko took a few moments, breathing deeply, gathering herself before she shook her head again, clarity prevailing.

"Sorry... It's not important... What we do now... Is." Tetsuko lied. The young swordswoman knew that night was still important, still a testament to her failure that she needed to remember. The Shindou girl only hoped she could move Rin's mind from it, and didn't seem any interested in discussing it further. There were far more important matters to intend to, while Tetsuko explained the situation to one of the few people who might be able to make it right. Though the Shindou girl wanted to keep what she'd figured about the music night vague, apparently her eyes gave it away... Blue like the sea, yet it seemed they could not conceal secrets nearly as well.

"...So they have..." Was Tetsuko's only response. The darkness of that secret was far too great to get into now, so Tetsuko refrained from saying anything more... Neither of them had anything more to say, after all. Though, the swordswoman had plenty to feel at the confirmation... Knowing now that these events had transpired, that they had created the Rin Kurama she'd met then... It only added to the 'burden' she carried. There was little more to it...

When Tetsuko finally got to the point of asking Rin for her help, the answer she received was about what she'd expected. It was only natural Rin would be skeptical about what she could do that trained professionals couldn't, that would be any teenager's response, Tetsuko would've thought. Yet, when those eyes met hers, Tetsuko knew that Rin... Could answer this request. So, with a resolution, Tetsuko stood from the bench, standing deathly still as she spoke to Rin.

"She's recovered from the wounds, the only problem is... They need to get blood flowing to her brain properly. It's not something... They can do easily. Not without outright controlling the blood." There was no use stepping around it. Tetsuko looked to Rin with pleading eyes, her request clearer than ever, yet she voiced it anyway, her voice full of desperation and regret. "Rin-san... I need you, with your Quirk, to help her wake up." The Shindou girl's face was contorted with turmoil, as she bowed deeply before the dark-haired girl. Her upper body practically at 90 degrees from her legs, in a gesture that could only be seen as begging. Forgoing her own honor, just for this one request...

"Please, Rin-san... Wake Elise up..."