To Honor The Fallen [Jasmine]

On a scale from one to oh my fucking god, how bad is Rin going to bitch at me this time?

This thought had crossed the blonde's mind as her hair, tied into a pony-tail, flailed around against the wind blowing in her face. A small smile made its way to Jasmine's face as the golden beast's engine roared menacingly, launching the female into the darkness at great speeds. The lights of the lampposts above blurred together with the darkness around her as she sped along the highway, her boot slamming against the gear shift to further increase her speed.

I really ought to buy a helmet or Rin really will bust my balls, she thought again as she leaned into the bike, swerving between traffic lanes to avoid any of the slower vehicles. Gradually, though, she had begun decreasing her speed as she reached the town, especially the more suburban areas. It was Halloween and lots of pedestrians were out and about in the dimly lit dark streets and alleys. The last thing the unruly lioness wanted to do is to hit someone with her newly built bike. God she spent an obnoxiously long period trying to build this damn thing up, and from what she could tell the exhaust was still fucked. Ugh.

Yeah it was still okay to go out and about for a ride, but she needed to go back to the drawing board. Her baby wouldn't last long in this condition.

In any case, the bike wasn't why she was out in town - it was just a convenient way to kill two birds with one stone and take her baby out for a test drive while she was meeting up with Rin. Rin, who had, surprisingly, asked Jasmine out. She didn't elaborate much on what they'd be doing but, strangely enough, the girl asked her to bring something of Michael's with her. Jasmine hadn't the foggiest as to why she'd make such a weird request and when the blonde asked the little Raven didn't really give an explanation. Shrugging, she had taken a picture of Michael that the guy had given her before she left for Japan. It was a picture of two of them hanging out at the local bar they used to frequent, laughing and grinning.

Her going away party. Man that brought back memories.

Dressed in casual attire, namely an orange shirt, ripped jeans, boots and a leather jacket, Jasmine calmly cruised along the streets, grabbing her phone out her pocket to double check the place she was meeting Rin. It didn't take her long to find the little Raven by a bench, and as she drove over and killed the engine, the beast calming with a soft mechanical purr, Jasmine popped the bike's center stand down as she leaned over it, supporting herself with her elbows as she smiled at Rin, "Heya. Miss me?" 

"You look... wow," was all Jaz was able to really say. The kimono looked absolutely gorgeous even to the American's eyes, and honestly she knew jack shit about Japanese culture... aside that one tea ritual Aeris taught her. "I feel underdressed now."

Yeah, the reaction was pretty much what she had expected. Though there was a concerning lack of mentioning the missing helmet and how much of a danger riding without one was. That was a bit of a surprise. Ah well, it would probably come eventually. Jasmine chuckled a little sheepishly as she removed the keys from the bike’s ignition and threw her leg over the bike, sitting down on the seat sideways, “You know how I’ve been up and about for the past couple of weeks? Well, this baby-,” she pat her hand against the side of the large metallic monster, “-is the result. Found her carcass in a local junk yard, negotiated with the task master – he ended up selling it to me for a reasonable price. Brought her over to the garage and fixed her up. She’s not exactly good as new yet – the exhaust’s and engine drives have been giving me a headache, but wake her up and she’ll purr like a kitten,” Jasmine explained, a small smile on her face the entire time. “It’s been a little bit of a project of mine.”

Eventually the blonde lioness got to her feet when Rin’s curiosity was finally sated. Curious eyes glanced at the sky lantern, then back to Rin, quirking an inquisitive brow. Listening to the explanation, Jasmine nodded; she wasn’t exactly the encyclopedia of Japanese rituals, but she was aware of this particular one… mostly because they did something similar back home. The Noir remained silent as she followed Rin into the graveyard, listening and taking in the information provided to her by the little Raven, her own mind already piecing together what Rin wanted from her, why she asked to bring something of Michael’s with her. A small patch of grass, a promise… shit. A silent, shaky sigh left the lioness as it started feeling like a knot was being twisted in her chest. She… could she do it? Say… goodbye?

When she had first heard the news, the lioness had been crushed, devastated. Her handling the information hadn’t exactly been proactive either. Drinking, staying away from people, getting into dumb fights, pushing her closest away… she had shut down. Tried to fight everything on her own jaded terms. It was just…easier that way. Then after what happened with Rin, Jasmine knew she couldn’t mourn. She couldn’t be stuck in weakness as Rin needed her to be strong, thus she was strong, pushing what needed to be said and done to the back of her head like an unwelcome memory. Though, now, that she was here… would she be able to do it? Accept that Mike was… gone? As she knelt down on the piece of cloth on the ground, Jasmine wasn’t sure how to answer that question, but she would sure as hell try.

After a short bow of her head, Jasmine reached inside of her jacket. She pulled out a small picture, glancing over it with glass eyes. In the picture, Michael and Jasmine were sitting on bar stools, next to each other. Both of them had big, toothy grins on, a borderline cruel reminder of different times. Another sigh, but she soldiered on, placing the item on the bottom of the lantern with shaky hands. Afterwards, she glanced at Rin as the girl finished the last piece of the explanation. The lioness nodded and lowered her head; what was she supposed to say?

“So…” she began in English, her voice hollow, seemingly devoid of emotion as though a natural defensive mechanism had long since kicked in. She cleared her throat, “You’re an asshole, you know that? I kept telling you, over and over again, to keep your head down. Especially now that I’m here, in Japan, thousands of miles away from you and unable to save your ass when you get yourself into too deep of a ditch. And what do you do? You get yourself killed and leave me behind, alone. I…” She bit her lip.

“It… hasn’t been easy. None of it has. Moving, meeting new people, living without you guys, it’s… I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you, really. It feels like I’m moving on but at the same time I just… I don’t feel it’s right for me to do that. I’m… sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you guys. For not being there when you needed me, for… letting you… die. It’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life, but… at the same time…”

“Thank you. For who you were, are, and will be. For everything you’ve done and how that will affect us going forward. It’s because of you that I am who I am today. It’s because of you that I’m able to live according to how I think I should lead my life. It’s because of you that I can chase my dream. You always said… that you didn’t think you’d be alive for long so we should laugh a little before you’re gone. Now that I think about it, you were right, weren’t you? And… despite feeling like I’ve lost a part of myself with you passing, I think… I think I’ll be able to laugh and smile even after you’re gone. That’s what you’d want, isn’t it?”

A smile had long since formed on Jasmine’s face, her eyes staring deeply into the lantern, almost as though the blonde lioness had been mesmerized. Her hand had taken Rin’s a while ago as well, giving it a gentle squeeze. Jasmine’s expression was relatively unreadable, her thoughts a question too difficult to answer. Yet on her face one could clearly see pain, guilt, melancholy… and acceptance. That smile was, for better or for worse, acknowledgment. What happened – happened. And she had to move forward. She needed to say goodbye to that part of her life because she knew that’s what he’d want.

“Thank you. I love you. And goodbye for now, Michael.”

A plethora of feelings had been running through Jasmine's heart and mind. These feelings, so often conflicting with one another, were now in flux as they always been, yet at the same time were oddly... harmonized. Strangely enough, these conflicting feelings such as guilt, acceptance, anger, pain, gratitude... instead of fighting one another for dominance, they simply collided and combined into what Jasmine was feeling now, at this very moment. She was... content. Over the course of the several months that she had stayed in Japan, all manner of things had transpired, all of which made the lioness feel a certain way. Very often the girl didn't know what to do with these feelings - sometimes childish excitement would overflow, other times isolation and reclusive behavior would cloud who she was. It was all just... such a confusing mess.

But now, for once, she was... calm. She was herself.

"Yakusoku, ka...?" She asked, more to herself than anyone else, really, as she glanced down at Rin, watching as she held the lantern in her hands. Then, yet again, she glanced at the stars above, "Huh, you've never actually heard me speak Japanese, have you? Oh yeah, don't think I've forgotten your weeaboo jokes, asshole. And no, there are no fucking gundams here, only in like manga or nerd stores. And yeah, you were right, the people here do get pretty kinky. After-midnight TV? My God..."

"And don't even get me started on the shit I've heard people with Quirks do. This girl? She controls blood. Blood. Like okay I can give you a pretty explosive massage but... her? I can't tell whether I'm excited or terrified of the possibilities."

"Speaking about her... her name's Rin. She's... well. She's special. You'd've liked her. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her. And I don't mean the dumb crush-love bullshit. No, I mean actually in love. I... can see a future with her, if that makes sense. It's... weird, but..." for a brief moment, the blonde lioness paused and lowered her head. She rubbed her temples with her fingers, frustrated with herself at how difficult it was for her to get the words out, even if Rin probably couldn't understand a single thing she was saying. Eventually, though, she snorted and smiled as she shook her head. Before long, she glanced at Rin, her eyes, a burning crimson, were also burning with tears.

"I promise to protect her, to love her, and to... stay strong. Through the good and the bad, by her side, with her. Always," she said, almost as though the promise itself was more for Rin than Michael himself, even if Rin likely didn't understand a single thing. Then, she glanced up at the sky once again, "That enough for ya, Mikey?"

Then, without another word, Jasmine moved up closer to Rin, standing right in front of her. With careful, gentle and graceful movement, Jasmine lit the inside of the sky lantern ablaze by rubbing her index finger and thumb together, thus creating a miniature spark. She placed her hands over Rin's and, slowly, the two of them lifted the lantern up into the sky. As it reached above their heads, Jasmine did something that she didn't think she'd be doing this soon, especially on a night like tonight. Slowly, she leaned in, gently pushing her lips against Rin's. It was... a nostalgic thing. She had kissed her once as a thank you before, and this instance wasn't much different from the one from back then, but... this time around it was less excitement and more genuine gratitude mixed with...

Yeah, she could admit it. Love.

One moment. One fleeting, magical moment was sometimes all it took to make everything okay. Even in the middle of a storm, chaos brewing and swirling around you, pulling you into a vile maelstrom that promised never to let you go, one singular moment could have been enough to make everything seem right with the world. Like none of the chaos and negativity mattered. That one moment translated into so many different things - happiness, joy, a smile, laughter, friendship, teamwork, victory... so many different things that could give you that one moment where nothing else really mattered. But there was one that was stronger than all the rest, with a power behind it enough to move mountains.

Love.

It was probably the strongest means of defiance Jasmine Noir could show the world. Despite how many times the forces that be tried to keep her down, to punish her and push her to the brink, it never stopped the blazing fire in her heart from running rampant. She's had her ups and downs, that was undeniable. She's had times where she thought she had lost any type of hope she ever had. And yeah, there were times the girl had strayed more towards the darkness. But her heart... had always somehow helped her find her way back. She was a delinquent, she was dangerous and violent, but all of it was because of the enormous amount of love she held within her heart and the inability to express it properly. A love for.. people, as surprising as that was. And despite how many times the world tried to take that part away from her, she refused to give it away.

Jasmine's fire never shone brighter than when she was trying to help someone. Especially someone she cared so deeply for. Having Rin so close to her, having overcome such a big obstacle... honestly the lioness had been so damn worried for her. She was also... hurt. Devastated, even. The mere idea that Rin had to go through what she herself had. The one thing that Jasmine could think when she remembered the horror her life had been was a simple no, please no... not you... please, just... why did it have to be you?! Life hadn't been easy for either of them after that to say the least. Jasmine knew exactly how difficult it was for Rin to keep on going, the feeling that you were never good enough. The simple idea that you were a disgusting creature that would never be clean again, not worth of the love of another... it was an incredibly heavy and painful burden to carry, and Jasmine had done her damndest to help Rin through it. It was this very reason that Jasmine wasn't able to deal with the demons of her own past but... in many ways, protecting and taking care of Rin was likely what helped Jasmine keep herself together in the first place.

The lioness had found herself on a mission, and she was damn sure going to see it through to the end. It had started with many simple things at first. Consistently being by Rin's side, pestering her even when she got almost told to fuck off. It was just a constant effort of never letting the little Raven be by herself. Jasmine would do dumb shit like getting herself in trouble, making herself look like an idiot, all to get some kind of response from the other girl. It had been... taxing, at first. One some level maybe even hurtful. But her pride and her love wouldn't let her give up. She had resorted to get Rin angry, too. So, so angry. She had said and done things she wished she hadn't but at the same time she knew it was necessary. All to elicit a response. And a response she received.

After that things just... slowly begun fixing themselves.

Rin was a strong girl, that was something Jasmine was made very well aware of the day Rin carried her into her dorm room covered in bee stings. But even the strong needed a gentle nudge forward, and the lioness had worked towards that. Making Rin her favorite tea (getting good at it, too), occasionally taking care of breakfast, making sure all of their laundry was clean, neat and tidy... she had temporarily taken over the things that Rin was normally doing, just to give the Raven enough space so she could just... do her own thing. Relax. Sure, Jasmine never let the little Raven slack - that would've just been counter productive. Heck, Jasmine being Jasmine, she utterly destroyed the shower cabin they had and installed a fucking bathtub, all so Rin could enjoy a hot bubble bath whenever she felt like it. If she asked for Jaz to bring her tea while she bathed? You best fucking believe she brought that tea to her.

It was just... one of those things. Those very small things that often got overlooked about Jasmine as a person, and honestly? If you asked her, she preferred it that way.

And now that she held the little Raven in her arms, allowing the smaller female to push her face against her chest, Jasmine just tightened her grip around her, her smile widening. The lioness' eyes closed as she buried her own face in Rin's hair, taking in the scent. Mission accomplished, right? It... finally went through, didn't it? Rin... she now knew she was loved, right? Good... she thought, looking up at the sky again, yeah, she thought, one last message to Michael, I'm pretty fucked up, she thought with an inward chuckle, remembering all the times they had talked about love fucking people up. But, at the same time, shew knew Michael realized that this... whatever it was that Jasmine had with Rin would, undeniably, work to help the little Firecracker find happiness.

Michael had never wanted anything more or less than that.

Just as quiet as Rin had been, Jasmine was staying silent, simply opting to hold the dark-haired girl in her arms and let her release all of the pent up emotions she had been holding. "There, there, little Raven..." she whispered, almost like a lioness lulling her cub with loving purrs and snuggles, "I'm home."

With those words having finally been spoken, Jasmine was... it was difficult to explain the range of emotions that seemingly overflowed within her chest, even for the blonde herself who was normally so outspoken. It wasn't like it was the first time she had heard those three words being spoken either, neither by Rin nor by other people. It was just... there was just something behind the way Rin said them that added that very specific magic flavor to them that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, sending goosebumps along her rough yet at the same time delicate creamy pale white skin.

The only reaction she could muster up was a simple smile. Her trademark toothy grin that spread from ear to ear. A barely visible tint of pink covered her cheeks as Jasmine hugged her little Raven closer to herself, embracing the smaller girl with the warmth emanating from the fire in her heart that was once again strengthened seemingly with a metric crapton of kerosene.

The golden-haired lioness offered no verbal response, only through actions did she show that she reciprocated the feeling and then some. And despite how dense Jasmine knew Rin was, what the blonde also knew was that Rin would be able to tell that her confession hadn't fallen on deaf ears, nor was it not replied to. Jasmine, too, loved her. Despite how many times her heart had been broken and then stitched back together, she was still capable of an unruly, overwhelming feeling of love that now, unconditionally, belonged to one Rinkusu Kurama.

How did it get to this? She couldn't tell you. Everything she believed in had been challenged in one way or another ever since she arrived at Yuuei. She always fought back, trying her damndest to prove that her beliefs were the correct ones. Now, though? No, she didn't fight it. She went with it. And fuck if it didn't feel like the most fulfilling thing she had ever experienced. In one way or another, Jasmine felt like she was herself again. No longer the broken little girl who was surrounded by nothing but a never ending darkness threatening to swallow her whole, strangle her and never let her go from its cold embrace. No, now it was like Jasmine had found a light. Her light. And she'd be damned if she ever let that go.

[end]