Post by Nimue Nakahara on Jul 10, 2020 12:13:29 GMT -4
What was there to say, it came to all flooding back. Maybe she should quit, not being worthy of it but then what did the list mean? It was so confusing and Mikhail was definitely not helping. She felt it, prickling behind her eyes as she wanted to cry. She had worked her butt off the last 9 months if not longer to get everyone and everything fixed and ready for themselves. First, Lady Lavande. Then, with a lot of luck the Oracle. But not without the highest price that she had to pay. No one really cared, no one was to blame for that but Nimue herself considering she did not share anything, she had not said anything. As usual, she kept things to herself and she was quiet, it did not change, it did not matter. Her hands were shaking, she felt too much at the same time that she did not know what to feel at all. Maybe text Tony.
She sighed to herself and simply dropped her phone on the pillow next to her, it rolled off and made a plop sound on the carpet below the couch. Of course, it did not matter. Texting Tony was a selfish thing to do, after all, this whole popularity thing was weird and she should keep others their feelings in mind as well. Maybe, Serperior was angry about it... she could for the love of god not think of why because she would not see what was bad for him but maybe that was it. Maybe he did not like how it was conducted or he was not a supporter of her, which made an awful lot of sense. Their teamwork had not been really well. Easy said: it had been a disaster. Would people hate her now for this? That was silly, but it was something to consider. Surely they said kind words but they also said nasty words. God, get yourself together Nimue, it wasn't nasty. It was pure honesty and as usual, she did not know how to handle it. Her last retort back seemed to be quite professional but Mikhail didn't answer so she started to doubt herself again. Oh, what did it matter, it was already in the past, she never aimed to do it this way? But maybe she did, a sort of aggravation, a sort of revenge, vengeance anything to show that she wasn't weak or stupid. But she was very childish and naive though. The past couple of months she had doubts about herself and if she was doing the right thing but apparently Tokyo thought she was doing the right thing? She leaned forward on the couch and plucked her phone from the floor. Maybe Elise?
It was something that broke inside her when she turned her phone screen and stared at the little crack and the unlocking showing her the conversation. Childish and stupid. Her reaction, obviously people forgot, that happened if you did not talk to people and continued as if nothing happened. God, it hurt. "I did it for you, everything for you." She whispered as she was again shaking and putting her phone in her hands and pressing against her chest. Her father, he should have been here now, but she had been stupid, she had not been fast enough and she was so afraid that it would all happen again. She was no longer going to sit and wait and do what was maybe necessary, she had to make a decision and that decision was to work even harder. To become even better, for herself but also for the people she cared about. They should not be found dead because she did not do her job right, she should have protected them better. With this... this status, she should only prove more that she could do it. She prayed a little, for his blessing and for the other his safety, for opening her eyes and for letting her be willing to learn. That's what she got to do, she should get to Mikhail or anyone else that knew what to say and what to do when people from the news or the government asked her stuff. She should no longer be afraid or paranoid, but she felt it only creeping up on her even more. "I miss you." God, she had finally found him back, only to let him slip through her hands in months. She let out a little yelp when she had seen it in front of her, the attack, the amount of blood, and her panic, Nkosi not listening to her, nothing. There were enough reasons why she wasn't listening as it did not matter. Her phone fell on the ground again, not calling Elise either. Not calling anyone for that matter. She heard a knock on her door and wondered who that could be.
Her small apartment, probably embarrassing for her strange new status, how did Mia deal with it before, another person on her list to ask. She was tired of all of this now and it just started and it wasn't even anyone their fault but her own. She was going to do better, but give her a few days to adjust. A new knock on the door and she got up, not thinking about it was not going to work. She did not even get her phone from the floor but crossed the small living room from her couch to the door. She did not use the peephole, she just was not in the mood, she should have known better and opened the door and looked surprised at her boyfriend. Before she could say his name, he already came in and kissed her. Something about congratulations and she nodded, moving aside to let him in. But he didn't go much further than kissing her again. Something about the surprise, the title, the everything. Would he know? How to deal with the press and how to look less stupid? She couldn't ask right now though, he seemed to celebrate and she would do so with him, for as well as she could.
She sighed to herself and simply dropped her phone on the pillow next to her, it rolled off and made a plop sound on the carpet below the couch. Of course, it did not matter. Texting Tony was a selfish thing to do, after all, this whole popularity thing was weird and she should keep others their feelings in mind as well. Maybe, Serperior was angry about it... she could for the love of god not think of why because she would not see what was bad for him but maybe that was it. Maybe he did not like how it was conducted or he was not a supporter of her, which made an awful lot of sense. Their teamwork had not been really well. Easy said: it had been a disaster. Would people hate her now for this? That was silly, but it was something to consider. Surely they said kind words but they also said nasty words. God, get yourself together Nimue, it wasn't nasty. It was pure honesty and as usual, she did not know how to handle it. Her last retort back seemed to be quite professional but Mikhail didn't answer so she started to doubt herself again. Oh, what did it matter, it was already in the past, she never aimed to do it this way? But maybe she did, a sort of aggravation, a sort of revenge, vengeance anything to show that she wasn't weak or stupid. But she was very childish and naive though. The past couple of months she had doubts about herself and if she was doing the right thing but apparently Tokyo thought she was doing the right thing? She leaned forward on the couch and plucked her phone from the floor. Maybe Elise?
It was something that broke inside her when she turned her phone screen and stared at the little crack and the unlocking showing her the conversation. Childish and stupid. Her reaction, obviously people forgot, that happened if you did not talk to people and continued as if nothing happened. God, it hurt. "I did it for you, everything for you." She whispered as she was again shaking and putting her phone in her hands and pressing against her chest. Her father, he should have been here now, but she had been stupid, she had not been fast enough and she was so afraid that it would all happen again. She was no longer going to sit and wait and do what was maybe necessary, she had to make a decision and that decision was to work even harder. To become even better, for herself but also for the people she cared about. They should not be found dead because she did not do her job right, she should have protected them better. With this... this status, she should only prove more that she could do it. She prayed a little, for his blessing and for the other his safety, for opening her eyes and for letting her be willing to learn. That's what she got to do, she should get to Mikhail or anyone else that knew what to say and what to do when people from the news or the government asked her stuff. She should no longer be afraid or paranoid, but she felt it only creeping up on her even more. "I miss you." God, she had finally found him back, only to let him slip through her hands in months. She let out a little yelp when she had seen it in front of her, the attack, the amount of blood, and her panic, Nkosi not listening to her, nothing. There were enough reasons why she wasn't listening as it did not matter. Her phone fell on the ground again, not calling Elise either. Not calling anyone for that matter. She heard a knock on her door and wondered who that could be.
Her small apartment, probably embarrassing for her strange new status, how did Mia deal with it before, another person on her list to ask. She was tired of all of this now and it just started and it wasn't even anyone their fault but her own. She was going to do better, but give her a few days to adjust. A new knock on the door and she got up, not thinking about it was not going to work. She did not even get her phone from the floor but crossed the small living room from her couch to the door. She did not use the peephole, she just was not in the mood, she should have known better and opened the door and looked surprised at her boyfriend. Before she could say his name, he already came in and kissed her. Something about congratulations and she nodded, moving aside to let him in. But he didn't go much further than kissing her again. Something about the surprise, the title, the everything. Would he know? How to deal with the press and how to look less stupid? She couldn't ask right now though, he seemed to celebrate and she would do so with him, for as well as she could.
