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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Mar 31, 2020 15:17:39 GMT -4
She did not like what he said, she did not like how he talked. She felt like him saying that he liked Japan was a lie. He did not like it at all, she could not see him nodding after all and even though it hurt, her shoulders relaxed a little more. "I don't need to meet Japanese people." She said shortly, she came here on a holiday. She did not need to mingle with others. She was distant to him and she tried not to be that was the only thing that mattered. Sure, she would be nice if they bumped into people but she did not plan to find out and talk to them. "We are not going to immigrate here, so it's not of my interest. I am here on holiday and a holiday to enjoy." She did not plan to learn about cultural differences either, she would just learn about Hawaii's culture and so on. She bit her lip, she couldn't help but sound slightly angry and she for a second considered standing up and leaving this spot to go sit somewhere else and read or something. Why did he have to talk as if they would move here? That was ridiculous, Japan was her home and she wasn't going to abandon it. Especially not after they almost reached the anniversary of their gym and could pay off the debts and so on. They were doing well, she wasn't going to risk that and throw it away.
"It's nice." She said abrupt and maybe again mean because she was still thinking about it when he asked her that. But she slumped again a little, "It hurts but when you go to the next part, it stops hurting?" Did that make sense? And she tried to say it a little nicer, a little sweeter as well as she looked at Kai and made him stop play with his food and went to clean his hands with the napkins that she had. You could see that she would relax more now and that she didn't make the hissing sound. Though she still wasn't really ready for his touch. They should stay distant is what her brain said but it felt really good now, so why would she do so? Why would she push him away, that would be stupid. No, this was fine. She cracked her neck by moving it from left to right and the sound made her shiver again. Okay, well that seemed to be going great.
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Post by G Hajimari on Mar 31, 2020 15:37:53 GMT -4
Yeah, he was a bit of an idiot, he didnt think that she cant see him nodding. If his hands werent occupied he'd facepalm. Hana said she doesnt need to meet Japanese people. She also said she wasnt gonna immigrate here, not her interest. Hmm, well so far for retiring here. "I know dear. I didnt plan to immigrate here. We're just here for a bit of change of scenery." G said as he massaged her. He would love to kiss her neck at least once, but he didnt. There was the whole trust thing he didnt wanna break. G was just gonna massage her, not betray her trust and touch her in a way she does not deem fit. A kiss to the neck wouldnt do. He was sad that he upset her. He should've kept his stupid mouth shut. Of course Hana wouldnt understand, she grew up in the shitty system. Actually, its best not to think about it, because otherwise he'd start to hate Japan for real
He tried to ease the tension by asking if she liked the massage, but she just abruptly said that it was nice. G just bit his lip to keep himself calm and not get overly emotional in bad way and be sad. G got a bit distracted thozgh when he noticed Hana slump a lil, she said it hurts, but when he does a part, it stops hurting "You mean when I do this?" he asks while massaging a certain area. He soon bit his lip, but this time he bit it harder and caused himself to bleed. He was just too focused on the massage that he didnt notice the rest. He just focused on Hana, and as he massaged her he noticed she no longer did that pained hissing sound, which was good. It meant he was making positive progress. Soon Hana cracked her neck by moving left and right. Although the sound made her shiver. G asked "Do you feel better?"He sounded a bit more insecure and unsure at that last question as he started to dout himself and his skills
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Mar 31, 2020 15:48:15 GMT -4
She had been mean. She had been cruel and her face had said everything about it and she was kind of glad he couldn't see. Her lower lip started to tremble and she did not want to say anything about it. She felt like he was hating on her country and that he would leave her if she would let him. Go back here, to Hawaii. Leave her because she kept pushing him away, he might even take their son. It was the nasty little voice in the back of her head that said; I would do it if I were him. And she felt horrible. "I know but that doesn't mean I have to study the scenery as if I would come and live here right? Can't I just enjoy it?" She had ruined it, again and she would continue to do so for the rest of the days. She felt bad. Again the urge to stand up and leave was big, but she did not want to. She did not want to make matters worse, it was that she had seen that he bought return tickets, but what if he did not come home with her. Should she even meet his family or were they trying to keep him here or them or just him? She should stop thinking and thus she tried to focus on the massage which made her rude again to him. It was shit. Everything was, bust mostly just Hanako.
"I mean when you rub it and continue to do so. The first part hurts but then it relaxes?" If that's the way you could describe it. "But you can stop if you want, can't imagine it's fun to do." And Kai was getting restless and she felt horrible. She did not want him to touch her but she also did not want him to stop and it was a very confusing matter. "Slightly." Her answer was, no idea that he was insecure about his skills, "maybe it's the chair but I am sure I pulled a muscle in my lower back in the airplane." Or later but the carrying had not helped her shoulders, and the stress neither. She was just tired of being tired. And it did not help at all, "I-I" but she couldn't say it, "Nevermind, it's nothing." She said quickly so he wouldn't have to wait on her answer. She would just play with a little piece of tomato on her fork, the one Kai didn't want anymore. What could she do for him?
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Post by G Hajimari on Mar 31, 2020 16:04:53 GMT -4
"Yeah, you're right" he said But maybe it was him. When visiting a new country, he'd be real curious about everything. Well, it would depend on what country. But just shows how everyone is different. But he didnt wanna think about it. Instead just focusing on massaging Hana. G asked and checked if he was doing well, and after getting some feedback, he focused on a certain area of her shoulders to massage. Hana told him that he can top if he wants, but G didnt wanna stop. He didnt wanna fail in helping her. After a bit more of masssaging, G asked if she felt better, to which Hana merely said Slightly. He kind of expected better results. She continued to say that maybe its the chair or that she pulled a muscle in her lower back on the plane. He'd gladly massage her there, but he was a 100% sure that she didnt wanna be massaged there. "I mean, if you want. I could try and massage you there" he still suggested
Hana said something or at least started to say something, but she dropped it as soon as she brought it up "W-what?" he asked nervously. He tried to calm down and steady his breathing. But he was scared that he was just messing up. As he massaged her, he tried to keep his hands steady and not shaky. But this was supposted to be relaxing and not nerve wrecking. He was supposed to calm her and help her and be all smooth and romantic, instead he was a failiure. What did she want to say? Looking at them, Kai was not being a patient boy as he was getting restless, and Hana was playng with a piece of tomato on her fork. Clearly she wasnt feeling this.... Maybe he should stop. She told him to stop after all. Maybe he should just go for a walk and be alone...
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Mar 31, 2020 16:15:43 GMT -4
She wasn't right and she could clearly understand that in his way. "That means I want to learn about Hawaii, not about Japanese people here." She tried to say casually, but it more sounded annoyed. She almost said again that she was here on a holiday and not on a cultural study trip or so but she did not say anything. She would just want to sightsee and enjoy herself, forgetting home. Forgetting what happened, that's why he wasn't allowed to touch her. But she let him now and it was going fine for as far as she thought? Surely it did hurt but that was normal right for massages? It would get better the moment he stopped and she would feel it after, the longer he would go on, the more relief her muscles would feel later. She was bad in giving feedback, the shivers had not been only for pain but also by his touch. "I-I don't know. I don't want to give any ideas." She said and the feeling of running away or sitting somewhere else came back. Maybe she should go take a walk, it might cool off Kai too, if only they had a stroller, but they had the carrier, so it was something and maybe they could rent some stroller here, she had no idea.
"It's really nothing." was the mumbling sound that Hanako made, "I just wanted to apologize for ruining the evening." She sighed and brushed his hands off, "Maybe you can continue before we sleep?" But her skin felt hot and she didn't want that. She had to get rid of the feeling and she could not take any more of the pain that came with it as well so this was her only solution. She took a deep breath, "Maybe we could go out for a walk, Kai is done with sitting still and maybe we can let him walk a little again if he wants to try and then go to bed to fix our jet lag?" She felt like they had stayed up for hours and it felt so strange and ridiculous. Though they had flown overnight and arrived in the morning, it seemed to be rather weird but well that's what happened. She just wanted everything to be fine and dandy and not worry about anything that happened in Japan. This was Hawaii, they could do better here? They could forget everything.
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Post by G Hajimari on Mar 31, 2020 16:26:58 GMT -4
"Yeah!" G said as a way to avoid just nodding. Since he realized she cant see his nod. He asked Hana if he can massage her lower back, but she didnt know. It was an answer he expected. If she didnt want it, he wont object it. He wouldnt force her into something she wasnt ready for. "Ok. Well, whatever you decide, I'll do it. So even if you're not comfortable with it. Im ok. Whenever you're ready Im there." he said When Hana started something else, G worried asked what was wrong. At first she said its nothing. G was willing to drop the subject, but Hana surprisingly added more to that. She wanted to apologize for ruining the evening. He stopped massaging her for a moment just to kiss the top of her head.
Hana took a deep breath and suggested to go for a walk. He expected to do that alone, just so he can do things alone like cry or something. He didnt wanna burden Hana with sad or bad feelings as he didnt wanna ruin the honeymoon. He took a deep breath too
"Maybe we can. Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked if Hana wanted that or did she just want that because of him. He wanted to make sure thats something SHE wants.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Apr 1, 2020 6:05:24 GMT -4
"I think I could use some fresh air." She put the fork down and turned a little on the chair to look at G.She was glad he was so patient with her, that he forgave her for distancing. But she had still not told him everything. Everything that bothered her and everything that he might not forgive her from. In England, he had thought that her not trying to be scandal was his fault, but had he forgotten what she unchained in Shinagawa? She had gone out there, after finally convincing him. She had almost broken her shoulder and was almost sold as some sort of... sort of slave or something to whoever would buy her. She had made him go crazy and instruct Goliath to kill. All because she could not just sit and be pretty. All because she had told Elena in her moment of weakness what happened and she should not have done that. She should not talk at all. Which was why she apologized for ruining this evening too. She was scared and tired and she hated herself for ruining a job she wanted to be good at. She wanted to do that, spy on Thundershock and interview other villains to be able to give information to Gil or Elena or heck Kenshin (no, wait he was a child but he was a vigilante, uuugh confusion!). But she wasn't strong enough, she couldn't do that without creating horrible consequences. And then there was the fact that Plutocracy had just picked him up and taken G away from her.
She looked up at him, that's when she notes the drops of blood on his lower lip and even one on his chin. She took the napkins that she had for Kai and got up, with two steps she was around the chair and dabbed his chin and later lip slowly and softly. Obviously the napkin stuck to it and she took it away and crumbled it in her hand. She had stared at him too much, she tiptoed, slowly closed her eyes and kissed him. She had not even answered if she wanted to go for a walk, though she wanted to, being in this room felt too stuffy at this point. But she got distracted, which used to happen a lot, though differently and yet the same. That's how they eloped, he distracted her with kisses and they both had said they wanted to marry each other. Now they were in Hawaii.
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Post by G Hajimari on Apr 1, 2020 15:11:32 GMT -4
G nodded when Hana said she could use some fresh air. Thus he waited for her to get ready, but as he waited, he could not imagine the possible guilt she must feel. But ironically he feels the same. He tries so much and yet thinks he fails her and disappoints her and harms her. Whatever he does, he fears he ruined her or saddened her. That makes him feel guilty. Hell, that one comment he made about Japan. It came out worse then he intended. He just wanted to say how Hawaii feels calmer then Japan. Its like comparing a busy city center to the quiet suburbs. He didnt mean to say one was better then the other, nor did he wish to imply that. But he worded it bad and messed up and hurt Hana. And that pained him
But as G was lost in thoughts of his own self guilt and loathing, he didnt notice Hana saw his blood. He only did when she dabbed his chin and lip. That made him flinch because it surprised him and secondly, it stung a bit. So yeah, he bit on himself harm. Hana meanwhile was always there for him to pick up the pieces and fix him. While he was the same mess. No... n-no! He cant let this be! He has to make HER feel good! Hawaii is about HER, not him! She should worry about him! He had to fix this and make her feel good. But then something happened, something delightful, soft and warm. He felt butterflies in his stomach, he felt as if angels were tickling him, he felt as if he was in heaven. Thats when he noticed what was actually happening. Hana just simply kissed him. G didnt notice him, but he was the reddest he's ever been. Glowing red. He closed his eyes and kissed her lips. No, he didnt do french kiss or anything invasive. No no. He just gave her the most innocent kiss on the lips. Its as if a child kissed his crush for the first time. A gentle, innocent and shy kiss.
Once that ended, he opened his eyes and he was still blushing "W-wow" he was flabbergasted and speechless "I-Im speechless. I ... erm... umm... I-I- Im... Im ready whenever you are" he was a blushing mess and his brain was scrambled. How can she do it. What was her secret. How can she make him feel this good. Oh gosh he has to return the favour! He has to be better for her
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Apr 2, 2020 14:09:15 GMT -4
Slowly she closed her eyes, slowly her lips touched his and she kissed him. It was just that, a kiss, nothing much, holding on for a couple of seconds before they broke apart before Kai had already grabbed her free hand and pulled on it, making sounds that distracted her. But she slowly opened her eyes again when they stopped kissing, he had already spoken to her, his wow made her smile. She noticed his blushy cheeks and she looked away a little embarrassed but the smile stuck to her lips. "Okay." She said softly as it was this strange in-between atmosphere they just created. "Can you get the carrier?" She took the bib of Kai and lifted him out of the little chair. Oh, that felt better and less straining than it had done before? She looked over her shoulder. First at her own shoulder and then further on to G and she blushed a little more.
Maybe being hard for herself had its effect on Gil and that was not what was suppose to happen. Maybe she had to tell him, maybe she had to be honest why she kept saying there was nothing else she could do? Her job was being a good mother and Kai had already sensed before when she was distressed. She had him crying from Shinagawa, she had him crying when she ran to aunt Sayaka. She had to be a better mother and that should be her main focus, make sure they had a steady income by being good with the Gym, being around to promote and so on. She wanted to say something but her lips couldn't catch the words and her brain didn't know where to start. "We are ready." She said as Kai held on to her shoulder and she held the little boy and she would go downstairs, where the hotel manager offered them a pram and she thanked him and let her little boy in there. Now that her hands were so to say free, she could try and stir with one, she went to find Gil's hand without looking and took it. She wanted to know she was doing a little better now than inside. She wanted to say her shoulders felt better and she hoped he could try a little more this holiday as it felt great and it might help with the stress. It was just a little scary.
Hawaii at night was very pretty, the hotel's atmosphere and park next to the beach had colourful little fairy lights and it was dusk so it gave enough light to follow the path. Hawaii wasn't bad, she was aware of that, the fact that no one had stopped and stared at them because of Gil's tattoos or them holding hands was very pleasant, and she wished that it was normal in their daily life, she wished she could let go of her fear. That it would just be okay to be close to him and in his arms. No one would harm them here. Plutocracy wasn't here, no one was here but them.
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Post by G Hajimari on Apr 2, 2020 14:34:21 GMT -4
Hana smiled and that made him feel a bit at ease. But there was still a mess of emotions inside of him. He didnt know what to say or do and he felt he couldnt form coherent sentences. When Hana told him to get the carrier, he immediatelly went to do that "Yes, right on it!" and he dashed away to get it. He fetched the thing and slowly made his way back to Hana. Upon her return, he sees that she is better as she is holding Kai a lot more easier. He can tell by the expression on her face which wasnt pained like before. Still though, he doesnt feel confident enough to do those massages again. He debated whether he should look up more videos to improve or go to a course or just drop it all together. His first impression and surprise of it didnt go so well. He considered it a failiure as that atmosphere wasnt romantic at all. The massage didnt do good. It was only after it that it was good. Yes, he decided he should drop it and never do it again. He tried it, it failed. It was time to carry on with something new. At least he can boast that he was a man of many skills, whatever. Whatever, that was a tough front anyway. He looked at Hana when she said that she was ready. He smiled and nodded. So the trio went downstairs where the hotel manager guy offered them a baby pram and Hana thanked him and put their boy in there. Soon G felt Hana hold his hand. G did the same, gently intertwining his fingers with hers. Hana could notice his touch was very very gentle, its almost as if he barely held her. Its as if one would hold something as delicate and fragile as glass, not wanting to break it. Thats how soft and gentle his touch was.
Thus they went out. Hawaii at night was nice. He wondered if they would walk by the sea. Maybe he can find a shell at the shore and she can listen to the ocean. Its a nice idea, but he doubted Hana would like it. She isnt the type to like the ocean very much, so he doubted she'd want to listen to it. He shook his head and thought about something else. Some other nice gesture she'd like.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Apr 2, 2020 14:57:13 GMT -4
The outside was indeed perfect for the stuffy atmosphere she created or maybe they created. She did not want to think about it. How delicate he was while holding her hand, how cute it felt when he intertwined his fingers with hers and she shortly looked up at the tall man next to her. She felt comfortable now and maybe even slightly comforted. She should talk to him, they were kept quiet because she did not want to bring things up. She had many questions maybe and yet she did not dare to ask him. "What are you thinking about?" She decided to say as that was her biggest concern.
He didn't know and her face fell a little. Her eyes turned slightly bigger as she had not expected that answer and her smile disappeared. Ruined it. She knew it, she had apologized for it, that did not make it immediately fine. Her heart was maybe a little breaking and she looked away from Gil as she pushed the pram forward and focused on it. Maybe he had not wanted her to kiss him, though he had said wow, it must have been fine. "I-I was thinking that it's really pretty here and so quiet." Surely there were sounds of cars and the usual city life because they were in Honolulu but still, the city was so different from Tokyo, also so many times smaller than it felt nicer. She was used to such a town, such a city that this felt like so much cosier while it was big. Much more free. She should maybe say something about it, but what could she do? "I was thinking how ehm you take such good care of me." She looked shortly at him again through the corner of her eye. Moving up her chin a little before it quickly dropped again, she almost squeezed his hand but she did not dare, "The tickets, the flight time and the massage. You helped me get into the ocean, I wouldn't have done that when I was alone."
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Post by G Hajimari on Apr 2, 2020 15:18:39 GMT -4
As they walked, G wondered how to make a nice gesture to Hana, but he didnt know what to do to please her. He looked at Hana when she aked him what was he thinking about "I dont know" he said meekly. He didnt want to spoil the surprise and say he was thinking of doing something nice for her because: a) she will ask what, b) she'd be disappointed if he said he doesnt know what, c) Then she will expect something. But it seems his answer wasnt a sadisfactory one as her face fell a lil. He bit his lip and thought how he ruined it. He needed to do something quick and improvise!!! He didnt like her stutter when she spoke up, it was tearing his heart apart and breaking him. He noticed she tried to make HIM feel better! No no no! He needed to do that! He was the worst! He was messing it up!! He flinched when she squeezed his hand, mostly becuase it surprised him. He looked at her surprised when he heard her last sentence. Tickets, flight time, ocean, massage and the ocean. She once again wanted to cheer him up and say she couldnt have done it if he was alone. But he was still speechless
Not wanting to hurt her. He decided to hastily improvise, so he pulled her, into a kiss. It was a slightly more passionate kiss then the one she gave him in their room. But he quickly soon broke it "I-Im sorry. I-I shouldnt have" she could hear how shaky his voice was and how he couldnt look her in the eyes. He was a bit emotional and vurneable himself, he was holding his tears because he feels he failed. He didnt know what to do. She shouldnt cheer him up, he should do that to her. But he didnt. Becuase he was a stupid fuck up. Why does she want him. Was this a good idea? She says she likes it here sorta. Maybe they should sleep. "I cant" he thought to himself. He nearly said it, he mumbled it. It was still un understandable. She couldnt tell what he was still saying quietly, muttering. What he wanted to say he couldnt. He couldnt find a way to do something nice to her. A nice gesture. Whatever he did, he failed. He cant think of anything she'd like. Why. Why was he so bad. He ruined the massage with his stupid mouth. Stupid tongue, stupid everything. Stupid stupid stupid
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Apr 2, 2020 15:31:15 GMT -4
She stared at him in surprise again, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes in shock. She had liked the kiss, it had taken her by surprise but it was a nice one. She was maybe slightly afraid where kissing or massages would bring them, because she was still not ready for more touch, for more anything but it felt horrible. The whole atmosphere might be broken by her snappy attitude within the hotel and while she softly moved the pram back and forth with the hand that held onto it, she let go of her intertwined fingers with G and pulled his collar as she would not feel well enough to tiptoe and keep her balance. Screw it. This was Hawaii, she would do what she wanted for her honeymoon in Hawaii. So she crashed her lips onto his again. Even more passionate than he had done just before.
If she wanted to be a good wife then she would give him her love in return. If she wanted to be a good wife, she would hate to see his heartbreak and his eyes get darker. No, she would do everything to stop that from happening. She took a step closer to be in his arms if he would dare to hold her. His eyes should light up, but she couldn't look at it, because out of nerves she had closed her eyes and tried to stop thinking that she was kissing him in public and not just a small sweet kiss that she had gotten accustomed to even in Japan but no. She would be better than that. "Let's start anew." She whispered against his lips to catch her breath before she kissed him again, sorry Kai, god she didn't want her son to see it but screw it. She had to make up for what she did before. She should make up for the both of them and she even let go of the pram as she wrapped her arms around G and kissed him even better. It was a flat path, the pram stayed where it was and Kai had already been dozing off considering the jet lag, the everything, albeit it wasn't really a jet lag it was them being tired from barely sleeping in the plane.
Finally, she stopped and she gave him one soft peck after and turned to check and fuzz over her baby who was asleep now, so she put the little blanket better over him and made sure his pacifier wouldn't get lost and his little kitty plushy would remain in his arms. Her cheeks were bright red, she couldn't imagine ever doing that in public, but she did.
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Post by G Hajimari on Apr 2, 2020 15:53:07 GMT -4
When he broke the kiss, the thing he least expected was ger to let go of his hand so she can pull him by the collar. The LAST thing he expected was to kiss him once again and more passionate. He was certainly shocked and surprised, but nevertheless he kissed her back. He eased into it and relaxed in her passionate kiss and gave her the equal amount of passion she was displaying. He never wanted to overstep his boundries.
She took a step closer to be in his arms. He got her cue and he did so. Gently holding her in his arms. She could recognize that touch, it was the same way he held her hand. By barely touching her, treating her as an easibly breakable porcelain. He was still afraid to touch her. He was conditioned for so long as to not touch her that now by the time he was allowed to do that, he was simply too scared. G opened his eyes when he heard Hana's sexy whisper. He was speechless as he still kissed her. He... he would speak, but not now. He can afford to enjoy a kiss. Just this once. He doesnt have to immediatelly reply, right? He focused on their kiss, but still minded to not get too far with his passion. He didnt want to make Hana uncomftarble.
When their kiss ended, Hana gave him a soft peck, that made him turn red. They both checked on Kai who was asleep. After seeing Kai was ok. G held Hana's hands and looked at her eyes teary eyed "Yes, lets start anew."
Erase the bad past. Erase everything. Focus on the here and now. G hoped Hana would do the same. Forget everything from before, anything bad and just focus on the here and now. Be here, physically and emotionally. He wanted to fix this. He wanted to make her stay great, but he still didnt know what to do "I love you"it was all he could say
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Apr 4, 2020 11:16:24 GMT -4
The reason why she fuzzed over their son was to not show her bright red face and her little shaky attitude. The fact that she kissed him like that, like that in public after many weeks of not doing anything the like was just kind of embarrassing. She had suggested start anew, which was kind of embarrassing as well, considering they discussed that so often. "It's not-not bad right?" She looked at him through the corner of her eye as they stood side by side looking at Kai. She could not just forget the past, but for today she would not talk about it, she would not become vulnerable because of it. But she had to stop thinking stupid considering that they were married, she did not want to start before that and she was sure G knew that as well, her ring was like glued to her finger, she would not lose it again and she had the other one still as well. She did not say much at that point, she was done fuzzing over Kai and looked up at G.
He took her hands and agreed and he looked so sad, but that's what she wanted to avoid, "I am sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you away." She did not want to talk about it, she did not want to keep repeating it was her fault because no one would be happy if she kept doing so. She did not want to speak out loud but she did, albeit maybe quite softly. She watched their hands, quite glad he took hers and held them up. She could not walk away and neither could he without her. "I liked the hug." But he surprised her again, and she blushed and looked away, more at Kai than at G, her eyes shot from time to time to him, "I love you."
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