802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Feb 29, 2020 7:52:45 GMT -4
Tetsuko Shindou had never had any siblings.
Although her Mother had a now estranged twin, Tetsuko herself remained an only child. That wasn't to say, of course, that' shed ever wanted a sibling of her own. The closely connected town of Kashima had provided her with plenty of family, after all. Furthermore, there was one who she considered like a brother to her, someone who didn't share her blood, but with whom she had a mutual connection.
Luka von Eisenberg, her lover's brother.
Tetsuko had known him since long before she and Elise had entered a relationship, however. Back when they were just childhood friends, Tetsuko had known the younger boy, the endearing younger sibling that he'd been to them both. Things had changed tremendously since then, however, but Tetsuko remained on good terms with Luka. Well, so she wanted to believe, anyway. Though, their closeness had come into question, as Tetsuko realized that there were things she ought to speak with him on... Things that they two should have already confided in one another.
The swordswoman wanted to talk to him, to make sure they knew that they could stand by another. That they could help one another, and trust each other to be there for Elise. To that end, Tetsuko saw fit to make use of their stay in the United Kingdom, and had broached the idea of just hanging out sometime with Luka. So they could talk, catch-up, and potentially share some burdens... He was, after all, nothing less than her 'little brother'.
When it came to where they could have this little meetup, Tetsuko had offered the suggestion of one of York's many museums. The York Castle Museum was pretty much exactly what it sounded like, a place designed as a showcase to one of the city's many historic sights. Tetsuko wasn't sure how keen Luka was on history, but he hadn't rejected the idea, so she had to assume he was at least somewhat warm to it...
Regardless, Tetsuko would find herself waiting outside the museum entrance, keeping an eye out for the other boy with a slightly anxious feeling settling within her. These had been trying times, and Tetsuko's Circle of Trust was something she was relying on more and more.. So she was quite nervous about this connection they had, and about how recent events might have damaged it...
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
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Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 14, 2020 7:15:30 GMT -4
He should have felt homesick, being all the way over in the United Kingdom, but he'd come to the realisation in the last couple of months that he didn't really feel like he had much of a home anymore. He hadn't since his father had passed away and his mother had fallen into a coma. Despite everything, it had and still felt like he had been left behind by everyone he had been close to. His mother, his sister, really only Tetsuko was left that had much of anything to do with him on a regular basis. Even still, he couldn't help but feel like these last two years had created distance even between them, a fact he faced with tired resignation.
So it was that he made his way to the place he had agreed to meet with the older girl, earbuds in his ears as he slipped through the crowds, most of his long blue hair hidden by a dark beanie that he wore. He wasn't sure how the British treated people with a quirk, but he'd been harassed for the unnatural hair colour before and he didn't feel much like drawing attention to it. He wasn't sure how to feel about the whole situation, he'd already had an emotionally charged conversation with Elise at Christmas and that hadn't really helped him change his feelings of disconnection, though he had pretended otherwise for the benefit of his family. Really, he'd left the family home feeling just as distant from the two as he had before entering, not a positive sign.
He was nervous, despite his casual expression, if this went poorly where did that leave him? Was he essentially cut off from his family, even if it was unintentional? Previous experience told him that it might very well end up that way, and the thought filled him with a cold dread. Everything had changed when father had died, and he was starting to feel like he would never truly recover from those days. Sighing slightly, he continued forward, the looming sight of the museum telling him he had found the correct location. It also didn't take him particularly long to find Tetsuko, he was quite accustomed to her presence and so could pick her out fairly easily. Still, he waited a few moments before coming forward out of the crowd himself, the small boy hidden amongst the much taller British pedestrians. He slid out of the crowd and walked over to Tetsuko without a word, looking up a the museum for a few moments before murmuring a greeting to the girl.
He was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice her nervousness, and as much as he wanted reassurances that things hadn't changed all that much between them, he was still terrified that he was going to be losing the last part of his support network, such as it was. Sure, he'd been mostly alone the entire time he'd been at U.A., but that was his own fault really for getting so caught in catching up. He'd started late, and had much to prove.
"What did you want to discuss Tetsu-nee?" he asked quietly, still not looking at her.
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802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Mar 18, 2020 10:24:15 GMT -4
Tetsuko had expected to spot Luka from a mile away, even with his obscuring height, but the boy still caught her by surprise when he emerged from the crowd. As he walked over, the Shindou girl couldn't help but smile lightly and wave. It was always good to see the face of someone she trusted and cared for, especially in these trying times. Even seeing those she shared some bond with gave some ease to her troubled mind, gave some sense of direction and calm to her swirling uncertainties. However, it looked like Luka wasn't quite as pleased to see a familiar face...
Even to a stranger, it would have been plainly obvious something was troubling him. Tetsuko, however, was no stranger, so she saw even more deeply than that... He approached without a word, his murmured greeting catching the girl off guard. "Hey, Luka..." Tetsuko replied uneasily. He didn't look to be in the highest of spirits, to say the least... When he quietly asked what they were discussing, Tetsuko paused, unsure what to do right now.
Before sighing to herself. This was her mistake, wasn't it?
Tetsuko raised a hand, and with Luka's eyes elsewhere, brought it down to ruffle his hair in a playful manner.
"I just wanted to spend some time with my de facto little brother while we were in England. C'mon, let's go get some tickets for the museum. Anything you're particularly interested in seeing?" Tetsuko would remove her hand from his head, and smile down at him. Even if she was so wracked with uncertainty these days, even if she felt anxiety this connection given all that had happened, even if she felt so conflicted about her own family...
Luka was essentially her younger brother. Thus, it would do her well to act like a proper older sister.
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
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Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 19, 2020 6:48:32 GMT -4
Even with such a bleak mood, there weere some reactions you just couldn't help, and Tetsuko sneaking up on him to mess up his hair was one of them. With an offended squawk, the small boy reached up to knock her hand from his head and try and straighten up his beanie, glaring at the older girl with the offense only a younger brother could really have for their older sibling's misdeeds, "Tetsu-nee cut it out!" He spoke in English here, not wanting to stand out too much, but his accent was fairly Germanic, with a few elements of Japanese, so he still managed to sound out of place.
Once his pride had been soothed by the return to acceptable hair organisation, Luka continued to remain withdrawn, barely responding to the smile Tetsuko gave him. Despite this, he could see that she was trying her best, he'd known her practically his whole life after all, and the tension in her face wasn't hidden by the smile she used. In fact, it seemed so out of place when he looked closely enough that it was enough to make the cracks in his own facade feel even more opposite. She was hurting too, even if he wasn't sure why, and that made him feel worse in some ways.
In others though... that familial connection worked both ways. He was still angry at Elise, at his mother, but Tetsu-nee? She hadn't really abandoned him, not really. She'd been busy with school, both in her role on the Disciplinary Committee and in a different class from him, and she wasn't blood related so he hadn't the same sort of expectations of her as he did his mother and sister. He could see she needed help as much as she could see his own need, and he couldn't help but think that the look on her face didn't suit her one bit. "I think we need to find a place to talk more than we need a museum Tetsu-nee..." he said quietly, a bit more energy in his voice than he had expressed previously, "because I can't see us having a lot of fun as we are right now."
Part of him was terrified of what the outcome of the conversation would be, would he lose that final tenuous connection? But he couldn't stand there and pretend everything was ok. Neither of them were ok, and perhaps they could help one another. It was that or they'd end up toppling one another into darker moods. It was hard to say.
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802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Mar 20, 2020 8:51:41 GMT -4
It was certainly a bit alleviating, seeing her 'little brother' react like that to her actions. Tetsuko smiled warmly as he knocked her hand away, mind drawn back to days when they were both younger. For a moment, she wished Elise was there too, but understood that if she wanted to test her bond with Luka, that might be unwise at the moment. There were all kinds of tensions between the people around Tetsuko, it seemed.
Once he'd recovered from that slight against his pride, Luka would see through the visage Tetsuko wore. The mask was one she'd worn unconsciously for so much of her life, that it was difficult to remember she was even wearing it. It was much more natural for her to retreat behind it, to be the proud swordswoman she had sworn to be, than it was to do something as dangerous as letting her vulnerabilities be read by those around her.
Tetsuko was learning how that could only create more trouble, but it was an ongoing process. A process aided by the fact that there were some people who she couldn't fool. Luka was one of them, and before they could even begin what was supposed to be a lighthearted meetup, Luka made it clear that the uncertainties surrounding them couldn't be ignored. His words damaged that facade of hers, Tetsuko's somewhat forced smile fading as he pointed out they were best off finding somewhere to talk.
In a way, she was thankful. In others, she was fearful. Tetsuko Shindou could not help but lament her own hesitation.
"...Alright. Let's go sit down somewhere." Even so, she wanted to at least remain a reassuring presence for Luka. She still smiled at him, though it was more out of solidarity, being a weak and uneasy look. "There's some benches over there." Without any further concealment, she'd lead them over towards some benches in the square before the museum, sitting down quietly, sighing lightly to herself.
If Luka did as she had suggested, and sat down beside her, Tetsuko would decide to take initiative. She wanted to see what was at least troubling him before he started inquiring on her own issues, lest she become overbearing in that regard...
"Luka... What's bothering you?"
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
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Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 21, 2020 8:46:03 GMT -4
Thankfully, it seemed that Luka didn't really need to argue his side with Tetsuko, the girl agreeing to talk things out without putting up much of a fight. The smile she gave him lost its' fakeness, and her own concerns became more obvious to him, a fact that pulled him further from his own thoughts and allowed him to focus on something other than his worries. Focusing on that, he followed Tetsuko over to the benches and sat down next to her, staring out across the people as they went about their lives.
Sighing softly, he shook his head slightly at Tetsuko's question, "It's not exactly easy to say Tetsu-nee..." he explained, somehow unable to express the true level of his current concerns. It wasn't something that he could just start speaking of, even the thought of explaining it got stuck in his throat. He'd only really been able to express it to his sister in the heat of emotion, and that hadn't really done anything to alleviate the building pressure that made him feel worse and worse.
"Maybe you should start? What's bothering you so much? Everything seems like it should be going well for you, but that expression isn't the face of someone feeling well..." he said quietly, still not looking at the older girl. Perhaps it was him trying to avoid the conversation, or perhaps it was a hope that maybe hearing what was bothering his unofficial sister-in-law would help him feel comfortable to share, either way, he wasn't quite ready to talk about his own problems just yet. Not to mention, it just felt easier to deal with other people's issues, rather than his own. Hells, it hadn't been until Christmas that he had really realised the depths of his own emotional issues, having pushed them aside for as long as he could.
Compared to his issues, other peoples' seemed so much easier to approach and deal with. But he supposed that was because he wasn't really carrying that emotional baggage. His own baggage on the other hand felt far too daunting to even properly approach.
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802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Mar 21, 2020 11:27:14 GMT -4
It wasn't easy to say was perhaps an obvious statement. Tetsuko hadn't imagined that Luka's troubles would be mundane or simple... He wasn't the kind of person to fret over little things, after all. The ironblooded girl had hoped to at least show some caring and try and get his story in first, so she could cut through right away to whatever he was dealing with. However, it looked like he wasn't quite comfortable enough to begin with his side of things.
She smiled softly at him, giving him a moment and not pressuring him to talk. If he wasn't quite ready to get into it, she was going to act like a proper older role model, and let him take things at his own pace. Without looking to her, he asked her to start. Although Tetsuko's own problems were a thick, tangled swamp in and of themselves, she would nod at his words, a little worried that he'd noticed how she was feeling...
Of course, it made sense that someone who'd known her for so long would see through that mask of hers. Nonetheless, it was worrying to think that others might also find it thin. Tetsuko did have something of an image to keep, after all.
The Shindou girl would sigh lightly, wondering where to begin on all her problems before she began speaking. "You've seen through me then. To put things simply... It's about my family." The girl began, leaning back and glancing over at Luka every now and then as she spoke.
"You already know about my Mother... She's been... Not great, herself. Her panic attacks are getting worse, but... I wish it was just that. At least I've gotten more used to dealing with that." Tetsuko would say quietly, thoughts of her mother causing her to feel this urge to retreat into herself. She hated seeing her mother like this, now more than ever...
"What's made thing worse is my Aunt. She's somewhat... Distant, from the family. I always assumed it was on good terms, but... Recently, I found out the truth. She was essentially disowned by my Grandfather. Because she was..." Her words were stiff, yet almost rushed. It was such a mess, and she just wanted to cut right through all this bullshit. Were it only that easy.
"She was Quirked. And my Grandfather hated her for it. I... I think he hated them all for it."
She slumped forward, gulping down before continuing. "I... I don't... I know he must have changed, at some point... Right? I told myself at first, maybe it was... Different back then, but... I think he did things with that hatred that I can't forgive. I can't say everything, but... I think he hurt people. I don't know for sure, but... At the very least..." With her tone a mixture of seething betrayal and deep hurt, she spoke on.
"He hurt the family. So deeply, and I never knew the truth. About the lies and bigotry. I don't even know how he feels now, about it all. I haven't confronted him over it, I just know... He never fixed things. I'm scared to ask him."
Luka would, likely, have heard of Tetsuko's grandfather from Elise before. A proud and intimidating man, stoic and stern but at the same time, a warm leader to his family. The current head of that family, and of Tetsuko's sword school.
"I've admired him my whole life. I've tried to follow his example, and my mother's. He was the one who suggested I go to U.A., to honor my family. That's the whole bloody reason I've come this far, for my family. If I confront him, I don't know if... If that pride in my family will be enough anymore. If I'll even have it, anymore." She paused again, taking a deep breath. It felt rather liberating, to speak like this. But she needed to pace herself, lest she become too overbearing for Luka.
Tetsuko could build up plenty of pressure, and she often did, so it tended to become bursting out when one loosened the valve...
"I'm sorry, I know it's a lot... But I want to be honest with you. I'm... Tired of not being able to be honest with people. If I just let this shit sit here... It just builds up." Sighing to herself as she calmed down and quieted, Tetsuko would speak on just a bit more before looking to Luka, to see how he'd taken it all.
"My family is the reason I'm strong, and the reason I chose to become a Hero. If I can't find it in myself to take pride in them, knowing what they've done, knowing how they feel... What's left of me after that?"
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
|
Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 22, 2020 6:20:55 GMT -4
Thankfully, Tetsuko was willing to speak up first, a fact that made things at least a little bit easier for Luka. He winced slightly at the mention of family, but otherwise remained quiet, focusing on what the older girl had to say and thinking on her issue. He could see how it hurt her, and as she continued her story his hand came to rest gently on her arm, but other than that, he let Tetsuko unload all of her concerns without a word, offering her someone that she could speak to without worrying about stupid hang-ups or veneers of strength. He'd wager that, of all the people in the world, only his sister would serve a similar sounding board in such a situation.
After a little while, and with a glance around, his body flowed into her lap, as the small orb of slime that was for all intents and purposes his truest form. Physical contact was less embarassing like this, and apparently the texture and sensation of him like this was soothing, so it might help. It also had the potential to make it easier for both of them to talk. He wasn't technically human anymore, and so it might lower barriers further, much like how people could say things to their pets much easier than to their family. Not that he considered himself a pet, but still.
"Well," he began carefully once she had stopped speaking, still looking out at the passers-by with no small amount of trepidation, "the first step at least seems fairly simple. You should talk to him, find out his current views." It really was easier when it was someone else's problem to help with, Luka knew it wouldn't be nearly as easy for him to practice what he was preaching, "people make mistakes, grow and learn. You can't know if he regrets that part of his life or not unless you ask. Maybe he hasn't tried to fix things because he doesn't think he can, sometimes it seems easier to just let it go than try..." he tamped down the uncomfortable feeling that his words brought to him, this was about Tetsuko and not his own thoughts.
"You're part of your family too Tetsu-nee," he murmured after a few long moments of silence, "If your pride in your family is so important to who you are, maybe you are the Shindou that you should take pride in. Even if it isn't what you thought it was, it made you into what you aspired to, so doesn't that make it real?" Maybe his interpretation was trite, and maybe it wasn't even remotely helpful, but he felt that Tetsuko had plenty to be proud of, even if her family wasn't what she thought it was. Unlike himself, she had proven herself to be a powerful and skilled individual capable of achieving great things once she left the school. As far as Luka was concerned, whatever her family was, Shindou Tetsuko was someone to look up to, even now. Perhaps especially now. "Just because your grandfather might not live up to the ideal, doesn't mean you aren't. And really, you're going to be the Shindou who's in the history books, not him, so either way you win." He tried to sound cheerful, he really did, and there was elements of his usual bubbliness in his words, but he couldn't help but draw a comparison between her and himself in that statement.
"You can always talk with me Tetsu-nee... you have to have someone you can share these sorts of things with, and even though I might not be your first choice, I can be here for you too"
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802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Mar 25, 2020 11:19:12 GMT -4
There were, indeed, few people who Tetsuko truly felt comfortable enough around to be actually vulnerable. Her position all but necessitated she wear a mask of strength, of dependability and nigh invincibility. She understood that, and in many ways, accepted it. That just made her all the more appreciative for the few people she allowed herself to be open with, the few who she trusted with the more fragile parts of U.A.'s #1. As a matter of fact, Kirk and Elise were really the only other two who she could speak with on this level...
Of course, Luka had the benefit of time. He'd known Tetsuko for years, enough to see through that mask of hers. Enough to understand her situation deeply, and to be able to address it with care and genuine understanding. He also knew how to make the most of his 'truest form' to provide comfort when it was needed. Letting the slime boy flow into her lap, Tetsuko would be surprised for a moment before letting him sit there and just enjoying the company, with a hand atop this blob while she spoke. It was his way a true closeness, she knew.
When she had finished speaking, Tetsuko listened to what Luka had to say, nodding along quietly. "I know... Talking to him is the first step, it's just... Not knowing what will happen, not knowing if any answer will be enough... It's a bit frightening. Well, he can be frightening too." Tetsuko's Grandfather was an imposing and powerful man, one who commanded the respect of much of the local population of Kashima, Tetsuko's hometown. Many looked up to him, but his presence could be quite intimidating. A shadow of his wrath loomed overhead, and Tetsuko could not deny fearing it. However, as Luka spoke on, Tetsuko raised a brow for a moment. "I see... He might not... Think he can..."
It wasn't something Tetsuko had actually considered. She knew her Grandfather to be a willful and determined man, so had assumed that if he wanted to fix things, he would. That he might be regretful yet resigned... Well, she didn't want to get too hopeful.
A brief silence followed, before Luka spoke up again. This time, Tetsuko remained quiet, listening until the end. What he suggested was far easier said than done, but Tetsuko hadn't exactly expected a simple solution. Nonetheless, his words were soothing, somewhat.... To hear someone close to her talk that highly of her carried a genuineness to it that emptier praise did not, it carried a warmth, a sense of confidence.
"...I must definitely talk to him, but..." Tetsuko would say after letting Luka's words settle a moment. "What scares me most is the uncertainty. Whether I can find peace with separating the 'real' parts... Or if that'll just feel like another lie. Because, no matter what... I can't deny that it was because of my Grandfather and my Mother that I'm as capable as I am today... I owe so much to them, and some of it might be because of all this. I... Don't know what I'll do with that... What my pride in them, real or not, is even worth after that..." There was a quiet steadiness to her words, wrapped up in all her uncertainty.
"Gods, I haven't asked my mother about all this... Even now, I'm scared about what I'll lose in the truth... Of how much everything could just... Change. I'm scared my pride in them was never enough to fight for... But... Even then... This 'doubt' doesn't feel much better, so... I will talk to them. I need to do that much." The Shindou girl had long since decided to confront her Grandfather at some point, needing only to climb the steep barrier that was her own fears and doubts.
Was her pride in her family enough? Could she separate the good from the bad of their past? How much did she owe to the sins of antiquity? All she could do was hope that whatever pain was associated with the answers to this questions was no worse than the pain of anticipation.
"Thank you, Luka." Tetsuko would reply to the slime, patting him after he insisted she could speak to him. "You can always talk to me too. You're basically family to me, and... I care a lot about my family. Maybe too much, haha..." She smiled softly at him. There was still the same unease in his voice too, after all.
"Whatever it is, I can be here for you. No judgement. After all, I'm hardly in any place to with all my baggage..." Of course, she didn't want to force him... So all Tetsuko could really do was try to make him as comfortable as possible, so that he felt content to lean on her shoulder.
"...How are you feeling about the festival, Luka? Even if there's so much going on, I'd hope we could still enjoy it..."
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
|
Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 27, 2020 9:21:06 GMT -4
Feeling satisfied that he had seemingly gotten through to Tetsuko, maybe not completely, but it was a start, Luka continued to stare out at the passersby, not quite sure if he should say anything more or simply let everything fade away for the moment as he tried his best to lend her enough strength for her to find her feet again. He knew he hadn't solved the problem, not by a long shot, but if he managed to point the older girl in the right direction then he would consider it a successful attempt. For a moment, all felt well... well, not all, but close.
And then she had to turn it back to him again.
His body shuddered slightly as she mentioned talking to her, and for the longest moment he couldn't even manage to get a single word out, his mind seemingly unwilling to let him even begin to speak of the things that were bothering him. Part of him knew he was being a hypocrite, after the advice he gave his almost-sister how could he refuse to share the things bothering him? If he stopped to examine the feeling, and he wouldn't, he would have eventually realised that he was scared of her reaction, that the uncertainty of how she would feel was better to him than knowing for sure that he was well and truly alone in the world. That might be impossible for him to overcome if it turned out to be true... better not to know, in his mind.
Luckily for him, it seemed she was going to move the conversation along, turning it to the festival. "I don't know... it feels kinda like we're performing monkeys for the non-quirked, last year did too, but I was too focused on the events to really think about it," he mused body a little more tense as he thought about it, "and we might end up triggering another attack if we scare them enough... I don't want to see that sort of thing again Tetsu-nee. Also, England kinda sucks, the weather is gross and there's not much to do... it's hard to believe any people wanted to conquer it in the past." It was an odd train of thought, but Luka was using it to distract himself from other thoughts, ones that were harder for him to really deal with.
Really, the worst part about being in England at the moment was that he had plenty of time to think and dwell on his insecurities instead of being able to throw himself into training and studying. He sighed slightly, continuing to people watch rather than focus too much on the girl whose lap he had claimed as a seat. It was tiring and frustrating to keep coming back to the same thoughts, but he couldn't help it, especially around her. It was easier to ignore with people who weren't really close to his issues, but Tetsuko practically had front row seats to the sorts of things that were bothering him.
"It doesn't help that I'm so far behind everyone else... I should have stayed back a year, maybe then I wouldn't have been bottom rung. As it stands, I'll probably get taken out early on..." he said, not really realising what he had let slip. It was frustrating to him, there were students in the year below him that definitely outclassed him, and he had struggled all year to keep pace with his classmates, yet it felt like he never could catch up, no matter how hard he tried, and his social life had practically withered to nothing in the last year. It was enough to make one feel useless when he could see how much better everyone else was becoming.
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802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Mar 28, 2020 7:00:00 GMT -4
It was immediately apparent that Luka wasn't quite as ready to talk about his own issues. While Tetsuko had the benefit of having long since decided to expand her circle of trust, it seemed her 'little brother' wasn't quite prepared for that. The past couple years had worn down Tetsuko's walls, but his were still raised high. All she could do was try and make him feel comfortable enough to let her in, but that would be difficult, and perhaps overbearing.
Tetsuko understood quite well that something like this took time, that gathering the will to overcome the fear of the uncertainty and share your vulnerabilities was other took serious effort. After all, in all her time at U.A., only one new person had even come to learn about her deepest problems, and only since she'd learned the truth about her family had Tetsuko resolved to try and let more people in...
With all that in mind, Tetsuko didn't want to push Luka beyond what was comfortable. If she could just make him more relaxed, tease out a bit of his feelings, that would be enough for this outing.
The Shindou girl was surprised to hear him so critical of the Sports Festival. Well, not too surprised. She chuckled lightly, not entirely able to disagree with what he was saying. "Well, you're not entirely wrong... Though it is a chance for us to show our stuff to our future colleagues." Tetsuko would argue. However, it seemed that the performative aspects were the least of Luka's worries. His mention of attack sent a chill through Tetsuko, who was reminded of Semper Fi.
She realized right away she never wanted Luka to see something like that.
"I'm sure we'll be fine. I don't know if you've noticed, but most of U.A. is too silly to be scary. Though, I can't argue much about England. All I'll say is at least they play decent soccer." The swordswoman would say, trying to bring some levity as she pat the orb of slime.
It was clear there was plenty ailing him, and she knew all too well how intangible it could feel sometimes. She only hoped to help him find a path, like he'd done for her...
When he spoke of his insecurities about being behind his peers, Tetsuko had to pause for a few moments. She knew he was certainly not the only one struggling with comparisons to their classmates, so she didn't quite know how to approach him on it... All she could do was try and offer some semblance of reassurance, in a way that was so very typical of her.
"I don't believe you're weak at all, Luka-kun. You're cleverer than most at U.A., and you have finer control over your Quirk. Can you imagine many of those blockheads being as tricky, stealthy, flexible or as good at impersonations as you are?" Tetsuko would insist. However, she knew right away, something like this might not be enough. "Though... Even if it is what I truly believe, I'm guessing you don't want to just here me praise you, even if I could... So, let me put it this way. Is losing really that bad?"
The Shindou girl continued on, after letting her words linger for a moment. "Those who possess more raw power than you, you can outsmart. Maybe... That's because you aren't as plainly strong... An old master once told me something like that. 'Weakness is a strength the strong do not have'." She would pat him gently, smiling at the boy. "If you lose, Luka. If you are defeated... For someone like you, who is so incredibly clever and able to outwit just about anyone... It's an opportunity to learn more, to grow more. I know that might sound like a bunch of bullshit, and yes, winning does feel nice... But... A loss here does not make you weak. Not with all the fights we'll have as Heroes. Considering how much higher the stakes are there... A loss here is a chance to grow."
Her words took on a genuine, but almost sombre tone. It was hard not to think about her own feelings towards the upcoming events. "You know... I'm not sure how far I'll make it either. Yes, yes, #1 at U.A. and all that... But with all that's happened... I don't know if have the resolve to fight to win. You have that, Luka. That means that, even if you lose, you'll show them how wrong they are to underestimate you."
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
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Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 29, 2020 2:48:56 GMT -4
"Silly to us maybe, but to people who don't know us? There are some pretty scary abilities amongst the quirked" Luka replied with a slight sigh, thinking that even his own abilities could be considered quite terrifying should he misuse them. The attitude of non-quirked people towards those with quirks was mercurial at best, and for the time being the quirked were definitely outnumbered. It could have been worse of course, he could have been born a few decades ago when discrimination was more rampant, but that didn't mean he liked to think about what would happen if the majority of the population turned against them.
"It doesn't matter if I'm smart Tetsu-nee... if I can't keep up... there are people in the school who can outmatch me in almost every way, not just in our year level but in the lower ones as well..." his words were stilted, hard to get out, and were the beginnings of a trickle of emotion that he wasn't sure that he could handle. "It's not about this festival, it's about everything. I work myself to exhaustion nearly every day just to keep afloat, for the last year I have barely talked to anyone outside of classes, because I'm either training or studying, and that's not enough to keep me even close to the middle of the group. I'm not like you, or El, I haven't done anything useful, or great... I'm just a burden." Agitated, the slime boy slid off Tetsuko's lap, reforming into his human shape in front of her with his back to the older girl. Things were getting a little too real and he could feel his emotional control slipping.
"Resolve to fight? I'm not so sure anymore..." he muttered, torn between wanting to flee and wanting to continue the building rant that he could feel practically scalding his throat to escape. It was hard, at this point, to remember why he was even doing all this. When he really stopped and thought about it what was his reason to be a hero? Before it had been so that he could protect his family, but they had moved on without him, he was ultimately only a burden on them... at least in his mind. Why was he still trying? Perhaps it was just momentum, he'd been doing this for two years now and he didn't have anything better to do with his life, so he kept going, tricking himself into thinking he could be a proper hero.
This wasn't how he wanted the conversation to go, the satisfaction of helping Tetsuko through her issue washed away by the bitterness of his own situation coming to the forefront of his mind. Frowning slightly, the small teen considered his options carefully, still not sure if he should stay or go to avoid what would likely be some attempt to cheer him up. Part of him wanted her to try, to let himself be convinced that things weren't as bad as they seemed, but that hadn't worked when his mother and sister had tried. Somehow he doubted that anything that Tetsuko would say would change what seemed to be his reality.
"I'm sure you will do amazingly Tetsu-nee, don't worry, you always do" he said instead, still not turning to face her. Perhaps he could derail the conversation and turn it back onto her, so that he didn't have to deal with the possible uncomfortable conversation that would follow. "I think you will manage to win whichever events you participate in, or come close to it at least." He turned back to give Tetsuko a wide smile, a smile she would be able to tell was quite thoroughly faked.
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802 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
17 Years
Female
"Steelheart"
Student-Rank Quirk:
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Post by Tetsuko Shindou on Mar 29, 2020 4:36:25 GMT -4
It was clear that Luka's worries went much deeper than just his insecurities over performing in the Sports Festival. From how deeply he seemed to dread the potential fear of the public, to how little he trusted his own abilities. The most Tetsuko could muster in the face of his anxiety was her attention, listening attentively while trying to keep patting him to at least keep herself close and emotionally open.
He was obsessively comparing himself to others, holding back his emotions, and suffering deeply. He was working himself hard, far harder than was healthy, and his social life had taken a hit because of it. Even talking like this felt like a dam about to burst, Luka agitated enough that he assumed his human shape again, almost like slipping on a mask.
For a few moments, Tetsuko sat there, quiet... Thinking of what to even say next. There were parts of herself that she saw in Luka, but parts that might be dangerous to deal with... Even now, uncertainty and anxiety gripped her, afraid the next step forward might only hurt their connection, might only hurt Luka... She felt like her heart was in a vice, she tried to speak but choked on her words as one of his echoed in her mind.
"Burden."
When he finally spoke up, talking about how good Tetsuko was going to do, that was when she finally managed to finally speak again.
"So what... Even if I win, so what? All for the pride of my family... It's such fucking bullshit..."
She caught herself, taking a deep breath, settling whatever was boiling within her. A deep disgust, mostly aimed at herself... To see a familiar pain in Luka made her so frustrated that she'd spent so much time ranting about her own family bullshit.
With another deep breathe, Tetsuko would calm, turning to Luka, and speaking quietly, but directly. "You are strong, Luka. I can tell you that so many times, I can tell you all the stories, of how the cleverest men have beaten the strongest, how those who thought themselves 'weak' had the most unique strength. Even my own Grandfather has only lost to one man, weaker yet cleverer than him... But, that's not... What I think I need to tell you right now. Strength... It didn't help me when I was feeling the same way." The Shindou girl would utter, pausing to collect herself before tearing into the scars of the past couple years.
"Even though I was strong, I didn't feel like any less of a burden when Elise got shot in Semper Fi. Even though I was quick, I didn't feel any better about not getting there in time to stop her from falling into a coma on Halloween... I was just a burden then, at least, that's how I felt. A burden on her and on my family... Well, I guess at least half of that was meaningless in hindsight..." She gave a bitter scoff, before continuing on.
"At one point, I even thought to myself, 'what right do I have to be by Elise's side?'... Well, fittingly enough, she answered that for me. Luka, strength or weakness, the struggle to become stronger... To do good for the people in your life... The most important thing isn't where that strength comes from..."
She reached a hand onto his shoulder, firm and direct, as she spoke right to him.
"I can tell you how great you are, but if that doesn't work... At least let me tell you that you don't have to do it - any of it - alone."
If he allowed, she'd reach forward, giving him a light and brief hug, just to try and soothe him somewhat. To give him... What little she could.
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162 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
Twenty Years
Male
"Genesis"
Pro Hero-Rank Quirk:
Infernal Slime
U.A Teacher
Played by: Eleri
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Post by Luka von Eisenberg on Mar 29, 2020 7:35:50 GMT -4
Luka's face remained in that false smile as Tetsuko spoke, trying not to let her words get to him. He didn't want to have a breakdown right now, but it seemed that Tetsuko wasn't going to just let him move the conversation. He wasn't really buying into a lot of what she was saying, as it felt like the sort of tried and true speech from a tv show or movie, rather than anything that resonated with him. He did however flinch at Tetsuko's hand on his shoulder, his body tensing up at the contact. It was a bit hard to ignore what she was saying though with the way she was speaking. The words might have been (mostly) standard for a heroic monologue, but the pain in her voice was not the standard for such speeches.
"If that's how you felt, imagine how I felt then Tetsu-nee? I wasn't even told that she was shot until it was too late, until after she recovered even. Perhaps I'm not even a burden, I'm just an after-thought," he muttered, sighing as he stared up at the sky. It wasn't easy to say that, especially out in the open, but he the wound was too painful to ignore at this point. With another sigh his shoulders dropped once more, teeth grinding together slightly as he thought more about the circumstances of the last two years.
Head bowed, the smaller teen rubbed at his face at Tetsuko's final words to him, his breathing hitching visibly. "But I do..." he murmured, his voice thick with repressed emotion, "I've been alone for nearly two years now Tetsu-nee, and everyone has moved on without me." And that was it, the real issue behind everything that was bothering him. To Luka, it felt like he had been left behind, no longer needed and no longer even really wanted. Rubbing at his face again, his body moved without his permission, pressing into Tetsuko's body, his shoulders shaking as he began to cry into her chest, mostly silent, just slightly hiccuping as tears began to stream down his cheeks.
He didn't want to, and he'd hate himself after it was all over, but Tetsuko had managed to poke right at the most painful wound in his emotional stability, bringing all his self control crumbling down. Somehow, this was more carthartic than his breakdown at Christmas, perhaps as he wasn't spilling his thoughts to one of the causes of the hurt... well, not one of the major causes. After all, Tetsuko was perhaps the only member of his family that hadn't properly abandoned him yet. Perhaps she would now, but at least he'd know for sure. Slowly the tears began to fade away, and he was left sniffing against the older girl, his body becoming more and more tense as he waited for her reaction.
He didn't want to move, because moving might break the current stillness and then he would have to deal with whatever Tetsuko was going to do in response. A feeling of dread and foreboding building in his body until all the tension returned to his body. This whole conversation had not gone the way he had hoped when he had started it, that was for sure.
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1,835 Posts
0 EP
EXP
Total
26 Years
Female
"Miss-Many-Thread"
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Post by Rosey on Mar 31, 2020 4:44:47 GMT -4
Tetsuko has 448 exp and gained 37(x2) = 74 exp
Luka has 202 exp and gained 35(x2) = 70 exp
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