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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Jan 30, 2020 9:39:00 GMT -4
She realized how much the issue had grown, she was such a drama queen. She did not want this to continue like this which was why she took a day off the gym. As she thought before, there had been a good thing, the paperwork was caught up. So right now, she could afford to take a day off, she did not need to train, she did not need to do anything, so she was fine. She put the little one in the baby carrier and brushed his hair a little aside, "Time to see grandmama." She said to Kai as she made sure she had everything, the whole baby bag was not the easiest and of course, G had the car to go to the Gym. Which meant they would have to take a cab, she already ordered one and it would take about twenty minutes before they would arrive at her aunt's place. Surely Aunt Sayaka wasn't really Kai's grandmother but with the lack of having parents and aunt Sayaka really caring about Hanako it was how she called her to Kai.
She made sure she had everything and already hated it, she did not even consider to bring the pram, it would make things worse. She really didn't like carrying all these things by herself but she needed to be away from work and the house for today because she could not take herself serious anymore. She was married to the man she loved and yet she took space from him, the bad side of her. The destruction of how she worked herself, it was probably something that aunt Sayako understood, that is if she dared to open her mouth.
It was soon time that she knocked on the door of her old house, or well the house where she grew up in the weekends when she was seventeen and lost her parents. So much for college. She thought about it, she met G at that time, it was ridiculous. She felt nauseous thinking about it, how could she do this? She hoped her aunt could relate to her and not make her feel like an idiotic baby that was destroying having something. Right at that point, Kai started to cry and she tried to shush him, "No, no don't cry I am not going away from your daddy, don't worry." She was sure that the baby read her mind at this point.
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293 Posts
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"Webbert"
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Post by Webby on Mar 21, 2020 19:31:02 GMT -4
Sayaka was having a good day; all things considered. It was noisy in this part of town in the afternoons, more kids around that age than usual. She'd finally managed to catch one of them while they fiddled with her mailbox and had given them a good scare in the morning. Satisfying, but ultimately it meant further instigation. She was fine with that; bring it on. She itched with the desire to go out for a cigarette but at her doctor's urging had finally decided to cut back. She was apparently 'getting on in years' which meant absolutely nothing to her. Beer would have been a close second choice but she was out; so she'd taken to actually appreciating the outside for once.
That was around the time she heard the taxi approach. The old house was not the biggest one in the world but it was nice all things considered and from where she sat on the side patio she could hear the sound of a crying baby, and the voice of a woman. Her niece. Hanako. Sayaka got to her feet in an instant; what the devil was the girl doing all the way out here? And with Kai? She rushed through the side door and down the hall, nearly missing her turn while sliding on her socks only to stumble and skid to a halt a few paces away from the front door. She panted, eyes wide, that was close! Regaining her composure she flicked the single ponytail of hair off her shoulder and squared her shoulders; throwing the door open.
Her eyebrow was raised; "Hanakooooo..." She squinted trying to look annoyed, the expression faded almost as fast as it had come and she beamed at her niece; "How am I supposed to treat you to dinner if you don't give me warning dear! Come here and give me a hug how are you love?! Come in! Come in! Lets give Kai something to eat, sounds like he's hungry!"
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Mar 30, 2020 14:25:20 GMT -4
Kai was still crying and she shook him softly up and down, trying to shush him while she was on the brink of tears herself. This was stupid, but she needed someone to stop her from doing the stupid. She took a deep breath, not crying, she should go running back and apologize to G and she looked up when the door opened and there was Sayaka. She felt her own lower lip wobble but she shouldn't cry. She blinked a few times rapidly and tried to laugh about her aunty's expression of trying to look annoyed. She hugged Sayaka for as far as she could from the side while holding Kai in her other hand in the carrier.
"I don't want to just stay for dinner if that's a bother but ehm yea I bet Kai would like some fruit if you some." She was actually not sure if Kai would eat anything at all as he was upset with her. "He is probably upset with me though." She would answer something like breaking routine if Sayaka would ask something but she should try not to cry anymore. She was sure her aunt wasn't stupid, when she did break up with G, during her pregnancy (she was 6 months pregnant) and she had returned to stay with her aunt and uncle here. High pregnant, crying all the time and doing nothing useful until she had called G in the middle of the night. He had come and she knew that Sayaka had known, playing dumb until her uncle had given back her phone that she had dropped outside and hoped he didn't have to kick the man out of his house. She had assured him that it was fine but she wasn't sure if they were okay with him now. Okay with G, she had not dared to bring him here, they did once, it had gone fine. But what if they were carrying the same opinion as Elena, once a mistake made, always a mistake made? Though she had not shared what their fight was about. And the day after his stay at her aunt and uncle, she had the accident and she had stayed at the hospital for quite a while, they had seen G at the hospital always by her side if he didn't have to work. Would Sakaya still be okay with G? Would Sayaka support her and kick her to go back to the man she loved?
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293 Posts
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"Webbert"
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Post by Webby on Apr 5, 2020 14:19:39 GMT -4
Sayaka's expression faltered a little, she let out a sigh; now she really wanted a cigarette. She scratched the back of her head and stepped aside for her niece; "Come in side sweetheart," She said, a kindness in her eyes. "It's alright, never a bother," She offered, walking toward the couch and moving aside a few pillows to make room for Hanako. She straightened up a blanket as well and patted the spot. "Let me at least get you some tea, mm?" She said, not wanting to touch on the subject just yet. Pretending that everything was normal only got one so far. Her husband would be back later that evening which gave them time to talk alone. He'd changed his opinion of G after a while, it'd taken some time, and it had been even harder for Sayaka to be honest. But now? She understood. "Now stay put."
She took a deep breath while she set the water to boil; glancing up now and then at the back of Hanako's head. She didn't say much for a while; needing to collect her own thoughts. There were a lot of things she could say right now and it was possible that she could completely flub the whole thing. Sayaka finished pouring out the tea and let it steep; taking the pot out to the living room with a tray and a pair of cups. She set it down and sat next to Hanako. "Talk to me dear,"
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Apr 5, 2020 14:45:30 GMT -4
She kept trying to hush Kai but he seemed to hate her and kept on crying. Yea, she could use that. She felt already guilty enough and she had tried by simply saying she wasn't leaving G but he still got upset. Nothing seemed to work. She knew that Sayaka wasn't dumb but she let the atmosphere of nothing be in the air. There was nothing going on, nothing going wrong and particularly nothing going right. Hanako was tired, she was glad to see though that her aunt still spoke and treated her with the kindness she was used to. She gave her a small smile and followed her into the familiar house. She had been here so often as a teen, she had been here last year in May and June and now she was here again. It was a shame how often she did not come to her family, albeit they texted, how she never really invited them to watch the right moments of her life. Though they had been in the hospital of course, so they knew Kai and she had asked them if he could be like grandparents for him. She nodded, "Tea is nice." So much for a proper conversation, she told herself with a mental kick.
She would sit on the couch and kept her baby now in her arms, moving him softly in a way, left and right. Trying to make him sleepy, trying to make him stop crying. She hummed to him softly, but apart from just a melody, it was cold and not containing anything. She loved him, both of them but right now it just felt so horrible, she had failed so miserably that she did not know how to fix it. She waited, she did not say anything and eventually she had found a way to distract Kai, he was dozing off and she put him back in the carrier and shook him softly until he finally fell asleep.
She opened her mouth when Sayaka returned to start but she did not know where. "I don't know where to start. I just failed again as a wife." She mumbled and she looked to her son and brushed his little black hair away and looked up and told her aunt what happened, how happy they were at Christmas and though the advice of the doctor and all but that was all lost again.
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293 Posts
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"Webbert"
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Post by Webby on Jun 5, 2020 13:10:27 GMT -4
Sayaka took a sip of her tea; "I know, I made it," She teased her niece, going for a little dry humor. She leaned a bit, nudging her shoulder against Hanako's. The girl was a mess and that was a nice way of putting it. She watched the struggling mother desperately trying to get her child to sleep. Any other day, Sayaka would have intervened, but her niece needed some control of her life right now; even if it was taking ownership of the role she has to play in the boys life. She leaned forward and placed her cup down, wrapping her fingers around her knee and staring at the table.
Her lips formed a thin line when Hanako spoke; "Failed? Huh... coulda fooled me," She said thoughtfully, not looking at Hanako yet. She shrugged a little and glanced at her niece as she retold the experience she'd had at Christmas, Sayaka looked down at the boy again "You're certainly a good mother," she offered. The older woman eased her shoulders and land back against the couch, trying to relax a little bit. She needed to know more before she tried to help solve the problem, if it was even hers to help solve. She got the impression that the girl was looking for something, some manner of validation. She was struggling with her own self esteem at the same time as everything else and it all boiled over. But she couldn't outright say that. She had to think of a better way.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Jun 10, 2020 17:34:57 GMT -4
Though she was in this stressful situation and she felt like she failed, she could not help but snort a little about the comment aunt Sayaka made. It was nice to be in a situation where she just felt home and loved every time again. But she did not want them to hate G and that's what happened with Elena before, so did this mean she had to shut up? But no, this wasn't about Gil, this was about her and failing. She could not... She just couldn't, her body didn't and her mind was now slowly crumbling down. It was obvious that she was tired, that something was wrong as she tried so hard to get Kai to sleep. But her lullaby didn't work, he wasn't playing or interested in her hair at all, eventually, his toy worked and being in the carrier made him drowsy and falling asleep while she moved it up and down with her food. Finally she said out loud that she failed and looked up when Sayaka did not seem to agree. "It just doesn't feel good enough. I keep pushing G away because... because." Because it did not work out, what could she do for him? For the boys in her life if she could not maintain either and... "What if he wants another child? What if it never works out? I just... I keep pushing him away because I don't want to give him any ideas, I feel so much pain and I can't describe it and I don't want him to think it's him but in the meantime, he already sleeps in the guest room some times or he doesn't sleep at all probably just stays with Kai." He was probably better at keeping their boy at ease than she was. Surely she needed space, but she wasn't doing anything right. At Christmas, they were so happy, only for a month later to have that happiness to be non-existent.
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31 Years
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Post by Crimson on Jul 9, 2020 14:09:42 GMT -4
Hanako Hajimari You currently have 431 EXP, and you gained 15 EXP for this thread! Webby You currently have 24 EXP, and you gained 7 EXP for this thread!
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