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Post by Airi Kurusu on Nov 14, 2019 18:36:13 GMT -4
"I don't want to go." Airi groaned, frustrated that she had to visit the school therapist for an appointment.
Airi, despite having only visited a therapist one, despised the very activity of therapy. It just didn't and wouldn't work for her, in fact, just from knowing the very concept of it, she hated it. It wasn't going to help her nor did she want help from anybody but herself. Her burdens are hers and hers alone to carry and she considered it shameful to betray that idea. That mindset made her hate the very idea of being helped. Still, her hatred wasn't just from a stubborn need to be able to support herself without assistance. It stemmed from the fear of being judged for needing assistance. There had been times when she had a moment of weakness and in those moments, she could tell the people around her were pitying her. They saw her for what she really was, a stupid, little girl that pretended to be way more than she would ever be. She didn't want people to ever see her as anything else but the persona she kept up. Even if people hated her for acting proud and being rude, it was better than the alternative.
She'd be a failure if she acted like a failure and she would most certainly stay a loser if she got help from anyone. Airi wanted to be a success without the help of anyone else so she could make everyone truly proud.
Telling herself this as she walked to Mosa's office, she decided ahead of time that this would be a waste of hers. She knew the tricks and false platitudes most therapists offered and while they would work on others, she wouldn't be fooled. Mosa wasn't going to be able to help her and she wouldn't let him.
Upon arriving, she knocked on his door and would enter once he allowed her to.
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Post by Mosa Ganbaroshi on Nov 16, 2019 18:26:02 GMT -4
There was always that one student, that Mosa would hear often about. The target of those discussions changed monthly. Sometimes it was about Darren doing something a bit too rambunctious for his own good. Sometimes it was jacks mental outbursts, and sometimes it was simply an unfortunate misunderstanding. This sort of situations were common, always following some bigger happening at the school. An individual incident.
However, there was one name he had heard way more often than others. Someone who had always been in the sadder side of things, but never took action to try and mend it. And a person who one of the former students had outright requested him to go and take a look at. The person known as Airi Kurusu... going through the files he had gathered, the girl just didn't seem to stand out too much. But suicidal tendencies had been mentioned. Just this huge amount of weight of worries on her shoulders...
And yet she never opened up about it... Mosa scratched his cheek. In the end, he had to outright get desperate and force the meeting onto her. He had felt like he had pushed it back far enough... he had had those discussions with the previous student almost a year ago. Honestly, this was a great failure on his part. Who knows, maybe the situation had become even worse? Of course, the girl had kept contact to others through the chat, so he knew the situation ultimately wasn't impossible yet. He knew he had gotten succesfully into a students psyche before, learning a little about them. He didn't need to rush it. He needed to take his time... yet leave enough of an impression to make sure she was going to rise from this...
...a knock at the door. For now, Mosa could only follow his classic mantra: "first impressions are everything." And he would go from there. He rose from his seat, and opened the door. He looked at the girl with his usual aura of authority. "Welcome. I've been waiting for you." He offered his hand for a shake, before he opened the door wide. "My name is Mosa Ganbaroshi. I hope that we will get along during this meeting." He lead her inside, and offered her a choice. "Sit wherever you would feel the most comfortable. I will sit accordingly myself." There was a simple wooden chair next to a bookcase, an armchair quite near it, another one opposite of it, and then there was also Mosas own seat behind the table... and a comfy carpet on the floor.
"While you consider... I will ask you your first question. Why do you think you are here?" It was a bold first question. But it was also the only time he could ask it with its answer in its purest form.
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Post by Airi Kurusu on Nov 24, 2019 23:20:49 GMT -4
Airi let out an exaggerated sigh as she stood there waiting for the door to open, dreading what came next. She really didn't want to be here and the sooner this was over, the better.
Still, not trying to be overly rude, she shook his hand, although it was a rather weak handshake that was over before it even started. He spoke quite calmly and the room itself didn't really put on her edge, in fact it seemed sort of cozy, but she didn't want to be here for long anyway. Airi stepped inside the room and listened as he spoke once more, offering her the choice of what seat in the room she preferred and presenting a question to her.
""Why do you think you are here?"
"Ugh.." She muttered, sighing once more. "I don't know? Yearly checkup? Some other bu... I mean, something else? I have no idea. Is this going to be very long?" Airi asked, impatiently. "Please say no, please say no."
Already making up her mind, she sat down in the armchair. It would be fairly obvious that this small, impatient girl was actually quite anxious about the circumstances of the meeting. Once seated, she bounced her leg up and down repeatedly, her pale thighs quivering as the movement became much faster. One of her nervous tics, so to speak. Despite saying to herself this meeting would accomplish nothing, she was still worried about what was going to happen. Right now she was in no mood to open up about herself in any way. "I wish I could be reading webtoons right now.. I hate this." Airi mumbled quietly to herself.
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Post by Mosa Ganbaroshi on Nov 27, 2019 10:33:55 GMT -4
It was very much so clear, that the girl didn't want to be here. It was easy to read from her body language. The girl was outright restless when seated, and groaned at his question... Admittedly, it was as he had sort of expected. Her answer to the question itself showed that either she didn't want to talk about it that much, or that she seriously had no idea what she was here for... but he really doubted it. She also posed her own question. How long would this take. "Well, technically I usually keep people here for about 45 minutes. That way these meetings don't take too much out of the day of whoever is here." He took his own seat at the armchair opposite of the girl. A classic comfy choice. "Of course, I have a lot of the day free today. So if we are running low on time, and you want to talk about it more, I will not stop you." In the end, as important as this meeting was, he still wasn't going to force her to stick around. That was not his job.
Just looking at her in her chosen seat was kind of pitiable. She looked like a white rat, forced into a corner... However, from her mumblings (Mosa was quite good at listening, when a person was right in front of them), Mosa got a little bit of an image of her interests. And in that regard, he atleast thought he could get a little bit of a hook in the situation. "Oh, you like comics as well?" The first step, was naturally light. "I am quite a big fan of 1-2-punch. The artists work is visually quite silly, but absolutely brimming with ideas... Then there is also the comics I have in the bookshelf right next to you..." She could probably see the backs of the books. There was all sorts of arachnoladies, yare yare no boxing, Satanguy, and other quite weird options for someone of his person to be reading.
His next question continued on this road... although it did hide the true image of what he wanted to find out with it. "What sort of webtoons do you read? A lot of people read action or romance, but I like checking out what my clients are reading." Mosa had a way with words, in that he could pretty much take part in any sort of discussion. And since his client this time was so shaken, He felt he should first try to make her feel comfortable in his presence. "I assume you have some favourite characters as well? What are they like?" Small steps forward... Even though books shouldn't be judged by their covers, sometimes the books themselves told a lot about the person reading them.
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Post by Airi Kurusu on Dec 15, 2019 17:05:50 GMT -4
" ..That's good I guess." Airi muttered to herself, a little glad that this session wouldn't take that long. A bit of her initial anxiousness was quelled. " C-comics? I don't really like them that much, I mean, they're alright. I usually uh.. read books." She fibbed a little, hoping he wouldn't go down this route of questioning." What sort of webtoons do you read? A lot of people read action or romance, but I like checking out what my clients are reading." Airi instinctively covered her mouth as she shot a glare at him.
Hm... It was quite obvious that he was trying to relate to her or at the very least, get a sense of her character. She wasn't dumb, quite aware of the tactics the therapist used to get their clients to open up to them, but she still felt it was a little dirty that he used something she muttered to start a conversation. Not only that, this type of small talk was fairly annoying. The impatient side of Airi was screaming for her to just blurt out "Can we just get to the point?" and the embarrassed side of her wanted no part of this.
Still.. considering this meeting wouldn't be very long and she didn't want to exhaust both of them by being difficult here. It was probably for the best if she just played along, but she definitely wasn't going to like it." I uh.. yeah, I read webtoons a little, b-but it's just like, uh... J-just stupid.. uhm.. y'know, like romance stuff. Nothing really interesting." Airi begrudgingly admitted with a blush on her face, staring at the ground as she pushed her fingers together. It was a little humiliating for her to admit to a hobby she considered a guilty pleasure. For her, these online comics offered a form of escapism for her, but because most of them were pretty subpar literature and since she put on a persona of being above trivial things like webtoons, she didn't like sharing her love for them.
" ..Characters? Well.. uh.. I really like the main character from uh.. this one story, it's called Doragontora." Airi paused for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. " I like that she can be a little mean and I guess.. rude? But yeah, I mean it's not just like a generically sweet, shy girl with no personality, y'know? Like she's not a Mary Sue. That's not really important though." Airi paused once more. " I mean the real reason I like her is sorta 'cause I can relate to her kinda. It's hard for her to open up and be genuine so people kinda ignore her or think little of her and she doesn't have many friends because she is mean. Also.. like in the story, there's this guy she has a crush on that barely notices her and like the whole plot is her trying to be confident and be proud of herself so she can make friends and admit her feelings to this guy." Her face flushed with red once she picked her head back up, making eye contact with the therapist. She had gone on for some time, maybe she had said a little too much. " ..it's a dumb story anyway." She added to save face, quite embarrassed from speaking about herself like this.
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309 Posts
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Post by Mosa Ganbaroshi on Dec 18, 2019 7:55:38 GMT -4
This little poke immediately got the girl a little bit defensive, trying to move her topic from comics to books. However, luckily, or unluckily in her case, Mosa was one of those people who considered both books and comic books to be in the same category of literature. She even outright covered her mouth, which was admittedly adorable. It reminded him of Kasumi saying something she wanted to keep a secret. Of course, the girl could have just avoided answering altogether, but instead, she decided to open up a little bit. And thus, the session properly begun.
The girl was into romance, huh? Admittedly, her calling it not too interesting right after got a little grin on Mosas face. Just this reaction of being able to say something about them had her almost huddling for cover. Was she ashamed for what she liked? He started drawing a picture into his notebook. A little girl, with a tablet in hand... Soon a picture of the character she described appeared on the page as well... although Mosas rendition of it. Apparently that girl had quite a temper, so he added a pair of cartoony angry eyebrows... "Nothing bad in mary sues usually. We are all allowed to make something that is a little bit overpowered sometimes." He glanced towards her. "And I believe if she has a temper, she has quite an interesting personality."
Hearing more and more about this character, gave him more and more info on Airi herself. Just what he had planned. The way she described it, she just had a hard time opening up, and with how she acted just telling him what she liked, it was clear that was true in some regards. In the case of her being mean though... he didn't yet have any proof about that. Listening to the lore of the story, he could imagine the situation the girl was going through... but that's what it all was. A theory. Just because the girl related to a character, that didn't necessarily mean, she was exactly like her...
However, he felt like he needed to point something out to her. "But if you enjoy the story, is it truely dumb?" He glanced into his book, looking at this silly drawing. "And you seem to have taken in a lot of the ideas from it, I would say, that shows to me its been very enjoyable!" A little bit of praise. With what he had heard about her, she needed it. And in a subject like this, Mosa felt like he could share it a bit.
Next step forward, was trying to find out what she had been doing herself. After all, the comparison point had been set. "Now, tell me. How has this half of the school year gone for you?" He prepared his pen and notebook again. "I hope it has left you with enough time to read these stories. I know it can be a little bit rough with the internships and what not mixed in."
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Post by Airi Kurusu on Dec 23, 2019 19:20:56 GMT -4
"I guess." She muttered, content with just staying silent while he added small comments. So far, the little icebreaker had helped Airi feel a little more comfortable talking with Mosa. This wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. She could definitely handle forty-five minutes of this. "..I mean, stuff can still be dumb but likeable, I suppose."
However, Mosa preferred to leave the small talk at that and move on with his questioning.
"How has the school year gone?" Airi repeated these words to herself in her head, the only response she gave to Mosa at the time was anxious laughter.
Airi moved her legs closer to herself, looking back at the last few months. It hadn't been a good year for her, not one bit. She had a few academic achievements but it just wasn't enough. It was nowhere near enough for her to feel proud of herself.
"..well.. it's been a little.. rough." Her words were shaky, the sound of her voice quavering with sadness. Silent, Airi sat still, staring at the creases in the palms of her hands. The small girl had never been any good at expressing her emotions. Talking about her feelings or how she really felt wasn't just taboo for her, it was an essential skill she simply lacked. Years of bottling up her pain and ignoring her true emotions had stunted her emotional growth. How ironic that a girl as well-read as her with repertoire of books read that would make a literature professor cry, who possessed a massive lexicon of words because of said list, and who could write and speak so eloquently when it came to her academics; how ironic that girl like that could be so inept at a trivial like telling someone how she felt.
Besides that, Airi did have an urge to actually talk to the man in front of her, but even now her pride was stopping her. She didn't want to be pitied.
"..uh.. w-well.." She choked up, gripping the fabric of her skirt. So many things she could say and so many things she wanted to explain, yet she couldn't muster up the strength to do either. So weak and pathetic.
Her eyes grew watery, but still, the stubborn girl wouldn't let herself cry. She was supposed to be strong.
It was an impossible task. How do you tell someone that things that made you happy no longer bring you joy? How do you tell someone that you feel worthless or that you're a failure at everything you do? How do you tell someone that you feel hopeless? How do you tell someone that you don't want to try anymore?
How do you tell someone that you don't want to exist anymore?
She sucked up her tears and looked up, making eye contact with the therapist once more. "I've just been a little homesick, I'm still adjusting to moving here." This wasn't a lie, she was telling the truth, but it wasn't the whole story.
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309 Posts
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Post by Mosa Ganbaroshi on Jan 13, 2020 17:24:12 GMT -4
For a moment, Mosas face had the smallest of smirks. It was clear the girl was a little bit defiant about actually liking these series, and for a moment it gave him the sort of lightness in his thoughts. Maybe the rumours were a little bit exaggerated? Maybe she was indeed just an introvert? However, these sorts of trust things usually lead into dangerous territories of being a little bold. And Mosa seemingly made that mistake, although unknowingly.
It was a simple enough question, yet immediately the girl tensed up a little, giving an awkward laugh. And when she said that things had been a little rough... she was once again looking quite cornered. She started staring at her hands, and Mosa could only look at her with a little bit of confusion. "...Take your time... we are not in a rush whatsoever." He tried to say calming words to her. She tried to speak again, but it just ended up being a weakish curdle at the end of her throat... as she seemingly cried a little. "Hmm..." It was clear, she was holding back. Why though, was still a mystery. And it seemed like getting her to speak openly, was the key to this conversation.
She eventually seemed to forcibly calm herself down. A bad sign in its own right, as he got some kind of answer. "Ah, a usual problem for many of the students..." For now he played along. Forcing the girl immediately to talk more in detail would be a dangerous mistake with what he had seen. "All the new people to meet and entering a situation where quirks are a norm and encouraged, it's certainly a very different position from a regular school, I'd assume." A little bit more of small talk. However, this time, he thought about what he could use to get a little bit of info out of her.
"Did this girl from Doragontora move into the school from somewhere else?" A sneaky question which would allow her to once again back down into her comics for a little bit. "Of course, getting into a little bit of a personal situation like this can be equally as awkward. Especially if it is with someone you like. I can just imagine the girl feeling a little bit scared to talk to this crush of hers..." He leaned a little bit into his chair, continuing his scribblings. Maybe if he could get her to speak more about the books, she could feel way more comfortable describing her own situation too?
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