Keeping it Together [Junko & Nimue]

Everyone was staring at her, which made her highly uncomfortable. Surely they had barely paid any attention to her before and now the officers in the hallway stared at her. She wanted to disappear right on that spot, she had said to herself that she would be able to handle this, that she would be fine and that she would be able to return because they needed a healer but look at her now. Staring at her made her already want to poof of this earth surface, wonderful job. She had not even been able to finish her sentence and was now sort of dancing her way on the spot to get out, moving back and forth. Until she heard... a voice that she did recognize and she quickly turned her heel. Even when it was a relieved sense that she spotted Junko and that Junko broke this mystery setting of the officers and Nimue and the shock, surprise, awkwardness or whatever you wanted to call it. The fact that her fellow pro-hero asked what she was doing here at the time made it a little extra awkward. "Ehm, I thought I could you know ehm, help?" Surely the first few days they had not allowed her to do anything, with the death of her father now a week ago, they were surely going to lock her up and do nothing more.

"I-I thought I could maybe train a little, you know, defence is never bad even for the healer." she said with a sheepish smile that did not reach her eyes, which made her face a bit of a strange and hollow show. But she wasn't sure what more to say, she should get out of here, that meaning the hallway, "Well-Well I should probably go there." She said hesitant and she took a step that way, this was not getting any better, she wished Junko would come with her but to ask her, was a bit strange, she shouldn't bother anyone.

She was kind of scared, surprised, anything really about the fact that Junko put her hand on her shoulder. In general Nimue had nothing against Junko, she liked her or maybe better said she respected her but they did not seem to have much in common so she wasn't always sure what to say or how to behave around her fellow teacher. She always had had the feeling that Junko wasn't a fan of her, maybe she was too naïve, too easy and nice to the students who deserved detention but Nimue wasn't sure. She had never dared to ask, but the way Junko now talked to her by asking her to stop, even pleading made her look up surprised to the pro-hero. Really need someone to talk? Nooo, she had talked to Tony, she had talked to-to eh yes well Giovanni but that didn't really count as she obviously had not told him that she was a pro-hero and that wasn't on her to do list anyway.

She was ushered to a seat and sat down promptly. There wasn't much that she could say at this point, she was still baffled by what was happening and what had just happened, the fact that the police officers stared at her being back. Yes, well what else could she do, she was the damn healer so she should be. She bit her lip, she nodded and looked at her lap, her hands fiddling with the strap of her bag. Everyone had looked at them but the moment Junko asked her if Nimue would share what was on her mind, the officers quickly went on their regular work again, they would not eavesdrop, they would wonder but they understood people needed their time. "What is on my mind?" Nimue repeated because well what wasn't on her mind and where would she start and what would she say. Again it was not that she disliked Junko but troubling someone with the lack of the load of stuff that was on her mind, that might be a bit too much. "It's okay, I will be okay it's just a lot." She said trying to wiggle her way out of this conversation but Junko would not so easily let her go and she took a deep breath and with a childish face looked up to Junko.

Nimue knew that she was lying to herself and that there would be no extra harm in talking about her feelings. Especially not because the most damaging thing was already done. "It's kind of a long story, I just couldn't sit still at home knowing that everyone is preparing here so I decided to come back. I don't know my own state of mind when it comes to.. when it comes to well the loss of my father." She wasn't sure if anyone would believe in her spiritual powers so she wasn't sure how to say it so she remained quiet for a few seconds and decided to phrase it differently. "I know that if we could speak now, he would tell me I did nothing wrong and that it's just the villain way and that I should not give up or let my happiness be ruined by this but everything happens so fast, I lost him only two weeks ago and I have to prepare for this, I even went on a date, why am I doing that? I feel-I feel as if I have no respect for him." Did that even make sense, everything she said, it was so embarrassing how she pushed Giovanni away and everything but her mind was just all over the place still.

For some reason she wanted to be snappy, unimaginable? Well it was the harsh truth and she hated it. And she hated how everyone looked at her or avoided her. No one was telling her something, they were all tiptoeing around her, waiting for her to break down again and it was ridiculous. She was the one who lost someone, not them, not their ridiculous behaviour was good for anything. But she did not say that, Nimue had always been taught to be kind and open-minded and people simply did not understood what she was going through and she could not blame them for that nor was she, it was just, it was just a lot that she was going through and she needed people, she needed people to support her, help her and she had: no one. That was clear, especially before, she felt so lost in the crowd of the midnight food party. Thank god Hachi and Wagyu had talked to her but she felt maybe more lost now, she should not bother anyone with it and that wasn't fair, she was the one that was hurt afterall.

He had said he wished her happiness but yes, she had to be strong. She frowned, listening to the words Junko said and she could hear them but it felt like they went over her and that she did not understand. What? Was Junko now giving her a compliment? Junko? It wasn't that she believed her fellow pro-hero to be incapable of doing so but she believed that it was a lot for her to do so, that it would serve up till a certain level and now Nimue had reached that? She was truly baffled because of the idea. She gave a short and hallow snicker when Junko ended with that it included dating. Yes, because Giovanni seemed to understand, or that's what Nimue thought. God, she already missed him, how ridiculous was she herself now. "Thanks Junko-san, it does me well to hear you talk." Because it did help. She fumbled a little, "I just still don't feel like I belong here, they all shut me out, I have no idea what people are preparing for and what the operation would mean, so how can I be of use?" Would she sit here the whole night waiting to be called in and save someone? Would that be it? That sounded really like a job she should have but suddenly did not want to have.

She wasn't sure if the next part of Junko her pep-talk or speech was about her as well. She knew proper etiquette but she wasn't sure if she was really competent when it came to a lot of things. But the next part was that the rude behaviour should not discourage her and that was actually a good point and she was sure that she should hold her chin up high. "I mean I am not even want to consider it as discouraging but the fact is maybe they have a point. What have I done over the year, absolutely nothing really impressive and now I caught one villain and I blow up the whole shebang, what should I think about it? How can I even take myself serious, that is not what I want but it is part of my job. I understand they want to keep me afraid I fail and afraid I get probably killed of recklessness of broken feelings, they are both out there. But I dont have any information, isn't that just as dangerous?" She fumbled a little, not wanting to look at Junko. They talked before about how they were specialized and what they did but she had so felt out of place there that she wasn't sure how to answer and she had just rambled on about medicine stuff so yes. 

She had to ask Junko about the operation, she should know and sure Freya had dropped a word here or there as well as during the midnight party but it wasn't the same and not all so yes. Claiming weapons? She stared at Junko and turned rather pale for an already pale person. Oh thinking about Freya, Junko was teamed up with her. "Hellhound is really nice." She wondered what Sea Shepherd was, "I mean I do not think I am really a part of one, they surely kept me aside and intended to keep me here to wait in case I am needing for healing." That's what she got and she wasn't sure if she had to inform someone that she wanted to do something. 

She was flattered but she wasn't sure if Junko need her. "Maybe I should stay here, we don't have enough healers after all." But sitting here would be bad as well, there were too many things. 

She nodded quickly and tried to find something else to talk about, she knew how many pro-heroes were here, she had seen and talked to Freya. She knew Freya was nervous but she wasn't sure if she felt that and if she knew what she should do herself and she tried to talk around it and tell Junko that Freya was really nice and so on, she was there for the mental peptalk for the others but her own was just a little missing and she said nothing for a while even not when Junko asked her what was particularly bothering her because she couldn't put her finger on it. "I don't know. I just don't feel I am the right person here at all. I might have underestimated the job but I like what I do for as far as I can when it comes to the school and the helping of people, the fights though." She was out there, and Nimue just wished she could go back home. What was there to do. She took a deep breath.

"I just feel a little useless and I might bump into them again, train with me Junko-san. I will focus and I will ask someone to install me somewhere or make up a plan and inform me more about what is going on." She got up and she felt that she looked ungrateful and she asked for forgiveness in her mind because she did not dare to say it out loud but at least she could ask Junko to use her whip for training, that's what Oracle had used, that's what Lavande used and it would be highly time to learn to become better at such diversity of weapons and she wanted to make sure she was doing the right thing when it came to preparing.