The difference between Love and Friendship [Tetsuko]

The feelings within her heart were complex, and yet she couldn't help but feel that they were necessary. Elise Von Eisenberg was an emotional girl, and her feelings were one of the things that empowered her. As she adjusted the hat of her summer dress lightly a sudden voice called out to her, a voice that was so familiar, one that brought her hope and joy. A light spin on the ball of her heels following as she faced the source of the voice that brought her so much happiness. Just like she had anticipated Tetsuko had arrived, making Elise raise a hand and make a gentle wave at her. "Good morning Tetsu~" she greet her with a smile, yet the words that followed were quite endearing. The reddening in Tetsuko's cheeks, it made her feel rather chipper. it even brought her into a teasing mood.

"Oh mai~ Complimenting me right away, it seems someone has been practicing~" She answered in faux disbelief before she giggled softly, a little poke of her tongue following before she grinned in return. "Thank you for the compliment~ You look quite nice yourself~" She replied with a soft hum, taking a step to Tetsuko's side and wrapping her arm around Tetsuko's own, her fingers interlacing with the girl's own. "Let's head to the train station shall we?"

After all, they still had quite a journey to make. But it was a journey they had to take. A trip away from the stressful events at the academy, a weekend for them to discover the unfathomable depths of their own hearts and the feelings lurking within.

The trip to the train station didn't take long, and with them having booked the trip in advance they didn't need to worry about waiting in a long line either. As the train finally arrived and they boarded it Elise saw an opportunity to talk for a bit, especially once they took their seat side by side.

"It's fortunate we're having nice weather this weekend~" An easy but effective way to start their conversation but she soon decided to focus on the actual subject. "Tetsu..." She began, a short pause as she looked at the girl with that tender gaze of hers. "I'm sorry." Her fingers gently squeezed Tetsuko's hand as she continued. "It must have been hard on you, being forced to come to recognize your feelings in such a cruel way, especially when you were vulnerable by the drug."

It was an unfair and cruel method for sure, but she had her reasons, reasons she would soon clarify. "But I had no choice. All those years I loved you~ All those years I admired you for how strong and kind you are. I tried so often to show you, yet never did you seem to notice."

She paused for a moment as she smiled gently at Tetsuko. "Do I feel bad about it? I do, I wish I could have made you realize in a kinder way, but I don't regret it... because finally, you realize just how much I adore you~"

She gently leaned her head sideways against Tetsuko's shoulder and hummed softly. "An adoration and love that will never change."

Was there actually anyone else in the carriage? She didn't know, and at this point, she didn't even bother checking, because it simply felt like a trivial detail in the wake of Tetsuko's presence. Tetsuko's soft affirmation of them being lucky the weather was nice brought a smile to her lips, one that slowly faded as the subject was addressed. "I'm sorry..." The girl whispered apologetically as the iron-blooded girl lamented about how unfair it was of her. "I thought... that with you in that state you might had been able to be more confident, more honest with your feelings, but in the end I only caused you more confusion."

The girl lamented softly as she thought about Tetsuko's words. Did she have a choice? Would she had been able to make Tetsuko realize things just by being patient? She didn't know, and that... honestly terrified her. The burgundy-haired lass closed her eyes as she shook her head lightly, squeezing the girl's hand gently. "I understand... you were scared and lost among those feelings, weren't you? You always were so honest, so straight-forward, and in a way so simple~" She giggled briefly as her tone softened. "Yet it made those feelings all the more complicated to understand."

Elise answered her with a smile, yet feeling that thumb tracing gently over her skin? It made her cheeks flush up lightly and her body make a little shiver of delight. "You're right~ We might have messed up the very first step, but there is still so much to do~ so much to explore~" Elise answered her in return, a grin emerging on her lips as she leaned sideways against Tetsuko and unfurled a map onto both their laps.

"Our first destination is this cinema~ they are showing the latest movie of: Master Hiroko, seems her girlfriend Miyu plays a big role in this movie again~ You love martial arts movies right? And Master Hiroko often has a lot of comedy and romance in them also, so I like them also~" she admitted with a sheepish grin, noticing they were getting close to their destination. Still, she couldn't help but think back about something. That tender thumb tracing, surely... Tetsuko wouldn't mind if she returned the favor, right?

A hand sneakily made its way to the side of Tetsuko's shirt, sneaking underneath as she playfully rubbed her thumb over the girl's abs. "hehe with a bit more training you really might end up getting abs of steel~" she teasingly commented, trailing that thumb of hers over it." Gods she really loved teasing the girl like this!

Elise couldn't help but think that Tetsuko was more like Hiroko in certain subtle ways, even if it was difficult to see, after all both were heroes, even if Tetsuko was her hero. Perhaps it was for that reason she spoke the sweet words. "You're already cool enough as you are~" a sweet yet genuine compliment but unfortunate that delicate fragileness in their conversation would soon break after her sly teasing remark, that tender way Tetsuko held her hand, the words that followed... It made her freeze up. Her smile lingered for just a moment, her eyes gazing gently at Tetsuko as she uttered softly in response. "You're right..."

She knew she couldn't escape from this confrontation, nor did she want to. Tetsuko didn't deserve that. How often had she ran and hidden her feelings, her pain, her suffering? If she couldn't be honest with Tetsuko, the one who had always been there for her since that day, then who could she possibly... No, the time for acting and teasing was over, she couldn't hold it any more. Especially the distinct pain in the girl's tone made it clear just how much she had made Tetsuko suffer, and that made her feel immensely guilty.

"I..." Her smile wavered, her lithe body trembling lightly like a leaf on the verge of being blown away by the wind, even her eyes shown hints of immense sorrow and regret, fear even as a familiar moistness gathered in them. She gently ceased the teasing touch, instead interlacing her fingers with Tetsuko's as she whispered feebly.

"Did something stupid, didn't I?" The girl asked, she had no doubt her actions in hindsight had been the very embodiment of stupidity. "I was lost... scared... scared that those feelings in your heart weren't love. So... when she appeared I was left confused."

Her hand squeezed lightly into Tetsuko's own, her voice fragile and clearly pained in its own way as she continued. "She showed me kindness and understanding... so much of her reminded me of you, but... when she... when she told me she loved me I succumbed to the weakness of my heart. It controlled me like a puppet, made me dance a waltz of emotions I couldn't comprehend."

A little sob followed, her free hand reaching for her eyes to hide the tears that were gathering. "But what is love? If you can feel it for more than one person? When... when that night happened I was so frightened. I... I can't do it anymore, Trying to keep on smiling and trying to not make everyone worry, hoping to prevent the past from happening again. And that was why I became so scared of losing you, the only one I still have left."

She lowered her head, like a scolded puppy. "But amidst that pain I came to realize: What I desired wasn't just to be loved. I didn't just want that. What I wanted is... a love that is exclusive for me, a love that makes me truly special to someone."

She paused for a moment, looking at Tetsuko with a look that unmistakable was familiar to the one she gave her in the park: It was clear that even after her earlier act: Elise really had been broken.

"But I don't deserve that anymore, do I? After having seen how disgusting and unfair my heart is... I don't deserve your love anymore, do I Tetsu?"

The hand was squeezed once more as she pleaded softly. "And yet even then I can't shake off those feelings for you, I don't even want to try. I love you Tetsuko, and it scares me... just how much I love you and what consequences that has."

After that day Tetsuko truly was the only one she had left, the only one she could truly trust, even after her heart had been broken.

While Tetsuko had never been one to back from anything, Elise was always the one who was secretly cautious behind her smile. She might have appeared cheerful and uppity but every word and action she made was done through a network of thoughts and considerations where she didn't want to hurt anyone, and yet it was that type of act that had led to this. It had led to her being pushed away so cruelly, to Rin to be hurt, and for Tetsuko to suffer so much... all because oh how unfair and cruel her heart had been. How could she possibly then not be afraid of something like love?

Even with the pain, with the suffering, Tetsuko continued to hold her hand, and Elise couldn't bring herself to allow her to let go. Tetsuko was all she had left not, the only one she felt that could keep her from succumbing entirely to the darkness that was shrouding her heart. She knew just how loyal Tetsuko was, and how insecure she was about her feelings, but in the end, it was because of her selfishness that Tetsuko got hurt. It pained her to admit, that the real one to blame for this was not Tetsuko, not even Rin... it was her own insecurities and weakness.

Elise felt so scared, to confess everything to Tetsuko, knowing that it was within the girl's right to repulse her, to push her away for the things she did and that? That would have been the moment Elise truly learned despair. She told Tetsuko everything, about how she had worked alongside Rin for so many hours to solve the issues with the drug that haunted the academy, of how kind and concerned Rin could be, of how she had saved the girl from being drugged and how in return Rin took care of her during that moment of weakness when the drug affected her to a degree.

In the end, what was love? Was it a form of a more stronger and passionate friendship? She didn't know. Seeing Tetsuko's eyes grow moist with tears she wanted to call out to her, tell her not to try but she was so scared, so vulnerable that the words didn't leave her lips. It was wrong of her, to desire to be someone's loved one in a way that it was just her, and yet to love both Tetsuko and Rin at the same time? It was too selfish of a desire.

She was broken, scared and at this point didn't know what to say or do anymore. Her explanation had stopped, the silence lingering in the air and only the sound of the soft sobs following. Was this the end? Would she have truly ruined everything? Would Tetsuko no longer love her, and would things revert back to the way they had been? Would she truly never be able to be loved? Love was such a serious word, such a strong one yet she had learned it was also an incredibly painful one.

Tetsuko was the first to break the silence, uttering that they were all idiots, the broken smile as she leaned back into her chair sending pangs of regret through the girl's heart. "It... it does..." she whispered meekly. "It feels amazing at times, makes you feel invincible and yet sometimes it hurts so badly." Yet Tetsuko's words that followed surprised her: Did she blame herself for this? No... it was her fault, because of her Tetsuko had suffered! She wasn't to blame.

The mentioning of Rin made the girl's gaze lower, a painful sensation in her chest that quickly grew worse when 'she' was mentioned, the one whose name she couldn't even utter anymore. But perhaps Tetsuko was right, perhaps none of them knew what love truly was. If it was a different form of friendship, then was friendship not a starting point of it? She didn't know, and at this point, she was almost terrified of that mysterious thing known as love.

Tetsuko admitted she thought she had known Elise, yet those events had shown a side of the girl that would likely have... yes, like everyone else... Surely after having seen her like this Tetsuko would be disgusted at her, right? It was only natural for her to feel that way after the things she said and done.

Her hand trembled slightly as she felt herself getting frightened, she didn't... didn't want Tetsuko to continue, to affirm her fears but she had to, this was a responsibility she had to take. She could feel it, Tetsuko's insecurities. She was still important to her... and yet after all this, she still didn't want to let go of her?

Her eyes widened in surprise, knowing that even after she had hurt Tetsuko, she didn't want to let go... she didn't want to push her aside nor run away. Tetsuko words were true, the comforting hand against her cheek as she was forced to confront a harsh truth: they didn't know what they were doing, they didn't know what love truly was. But then, then Tetsuko told her something she didn't expect. She still wanted to try this dating thing, knowing they would hurt each other, and that she would be hurt more if she let go of Elise.

The wistful reply that they were both stupid, and yet could still keep on going together... that she promised she would show Tetsuko the depths of her heart. Seeing those tears streaking the girl's face and then... Then the words that followed were the breaking point.

"E-Even after all I did you---" she couldn't even finish her sentence, when Tetsuko told her she still liked her, even if it was not the word she had hoped to hear, the way she said it, and what followed afterwards. This time the tears that followed were not tears of sorrow, but clearly happiness as she wrapped her arms around Tetsuko, not caring about the fact they were in a public place. Pressing her head onto Tetsuko's shoulder she cried out, tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt the warmth of the girl's body, that warmth that wouldn't ever abandon her.

"I do Tetsu! I do!" she cried, clinging to the girl as she cried in joy. Even if she had misinterpreted the meaning perhaps, to her those words sounded that Tetsuko was willing to give things a chance, for them to go on a date together... for her to become Tetsuko's.

And yet it was in that moment that Elise understood: This was the one person she never wanted to let go of, knowing she would never let go of her either.

Typical Tetsuko, even in this sea of feelings the girl could say something to get the poor burgundy-haired lass flustered. She leaned back a little, her cheeks red with embarrassment as she mumbled softly. "There will have to be a lot more dates before I marry you." Although she couldn't help but embrace Tetsuko a final time, whispering into the girl's ear. "But I wouldn't marriage someday... if it was with you."

Her face beat-red by now Tetsuko's lamenting brought her attention back to the subject of their appearance, and fortunately Elise did have some tissues with her, pulling some out of her purse and placing them in Tetsuko's hand while she picked another one and leaned it to Tetsuko's face, gently and tenderly wiping away her tears. "This remembers me of when we were children... Remember? When you got into fights and we would dry each other's tears and you would keep asking me why I was crying alongside you."

So much had changed, and yet at the same time so much had still remained the same. After they reached their destination Elise was quick to guide Tetsuko out of the train station and onto the streets of Tokyo, yet it quickly became evident that there was lasting damage of that past night, her hand still holding Tetsuko's when they walked past the crowds of people. But then, something quite unexpected happened.

"Hey, look what a cutie, the one with the burgundy-hair?" a young man's voice came from up ahead, two teenagers approaching the duo. Their mere presence already caused Elise's grasp on Tetsuko's hand to tighten lightly as it became clear what the duo was doing. "Mhmm, she has quite a cute feminine look to her~ hey sweetie, how about ditching your friend and going on a date with us?"

A jolt came from Elise's body, clinging lightly to Tetsuko's arm while the other teenager looked at Tetsuko and felt his cheeks flush up lightly, a sheepish grin on his lips. "Her friend looks rather cute also, can't we invite her over also?"

Wait, was that guy... trying to flirt with Tetsuko? Suddenly shifting her body she gave Tetsuko a frontal hug, as if using her body as a shield while looking up at Tetsuko with a wordless expression that clearly showed that despite her discomfort she wouldn't let them near her! Could it be... that she was trying to be protective of Tetsuko in her own way?

"Uuuh..." the two teenagers went, looking from Elise to Tetsuko in confusion.