Facing the Past [Yoru]

I see you through the flood
See you through the fire
See you through the storms-a-raging

❧

He always messed up everything. For some reason, when he started to do something, when he resolved to do something, it always went wrong. When they went for a scouting mission, he was the one to blow their cover. When they wanted to hang out by the streets, he was the one to cause trouble and be chased away. When he was given an assignment at school, he was the first to get inpatient and burn everything. When he was given the option to be in a friendly fight, he was the one to injure his opponent the most.

He couldn’t do anything right, and now even the past was catching up to him. His life was finally on a steady roll, he had the hope to become a hero and search for a long lost family member, but he couldn’t just leave everything behind. Daichi was the cruel reminder, that they were still out there, that they were still waiting, and he didn’t have the right to have fun. Rin, Jasmine. Ryuusei...

Maybe Daichi was right. He was a horrible friend.

The walls were building brick by brick, and even without a thought, even without really knowing what he was doing, Yoru lashed out, his anger raining on the friend that decided to still stand beside him despite everything, the one friend that reached out for his hand when a ghost from the past trampled over him. And what did he do? He tried to push him away with all his might, because he was that kind of a horrible friend. In the end, even if he had harmless flames, he would just incinerate everything. His past, his present, and the beautiful friendship of a future.

Build the walls. Keep building those walls so no flame can get out to catch and burn Ryuusei to nothing...

And so, he exploded, furious and anxious, because he knew no other way to deal with the storm happening inside. The wall was there, which, hopefully, could keep the burning rage inside, as far away from his friend as possible. Oh, how much he hated himself for this right now. But Ryuusei stepped in, reached out, and one poke of his finger was enough for Yoru to crumble.

He was so surprised by the little touch, by the little action, that he stared at his friend wide-eyed, nearly forgetting that he was supposed to be angry. One uncertain hand reached for his forehead where he was flicked, combing into his hair.

Your flames are pure. Don’t forget that.

Shut up, he wanted to say, yell. But as he opened his mouth, no voice was coming out, because for some ungodly reason, this guy, this one stupid classmate of his could understand him better than any old friends that left him alone in loneliness after their pack disbanded. This one guy was here to prove him wrong, to offer him a place to belong.

Ryuusei deserved better, really.

Yoru lowered his head, enough that his messy brown hair would hide away those bright eyes from the world. His mouth was forming words, but there was no voice coming out, though Ryuusei might be able to pick the meaning out even in the silence.

I’m sorry.

And then he turned on his heals to runaway before emotions exploded again and he would do something he might regret even more. Jumping up the wall of the dead-end in its corner, he would disappear behind it, leaving Ryuusei to himself.

Days later, they might meet again at a certain music night, Yoru full of burn scars, and Ryuu building a different kind of wall, a black world that Yoru would turn white with a drumroll.

words: 618 ● Ryuusei Igarashi ● Take these feels away!!!