1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on Apr 16, 2019 11:24:12 GMT -4
 | ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ To be honest, it had been calm in her head now for a few days, maybe a week mostly, and that felt wonderful. Her mother was around her so she felt like she was able to cope, there was no Lady pulling the strings and she understood mostly from what she had done because of the help of Relena and Saiko as well as Nakahara-san.
She had dared to speak with Ryuusei and Jasmine which helped a little and she was doing well considering the teaching of how to control the raw emotional power that Lady seem to represent. She might have learned her lesson from the Bucket issue and she was happy to say that everything seemed to be go quite normal. However it was no lie for the black-haired student that the break came as a welcoming something. Second year hero student. Yet still not sure if she wanted to be a hero but she wanted to go on. At first her goal had been to make friends but considering she thought Nick her friend as well as Kanna who randomly disappeared, it did not feel as she had been very good at it. The person she thought she could depend on as well, disappeared too or better said seemed to avoid her.
She had been stuck on her couch with Zuzu and mostly her mother to watch some old movies that her mother seemed to like, which brought her new project for violin playing with her. She was actually quite excited to try but her fear for disturbing the neighbors was still there, so even if it was break time, Rowan headed to U.A. she would say hello to Nakahara-sensei to show that she was doing fine and then head to the music room, that was the best plan. She had to practice for the part with Ryuusei anyway.
To be fair and completely honest there were still clouds on Rowan her mind but as she looked up at the sunny sky she could not help but smile. Clouds in her mind would disappear over time too. She thought shortly about Haru and hurried along, maybe she would see him at the school too. Even if the weather was sunny, it wasn't that warm yet but the girl wore a simple black dress, a red blazer and red all stars shoes while heading to school, no uniform for a while might be considered a blessing too. She installed herself in the music room on the third floor, opened the window, scrolled through the music sheets so she could put them on the screen and went to find the piano background so she could practice.
And practice.
And practice some more.
Until, which was rather soon because she was not distracted by anything, the song could be heard perfectly performed if only those who wanted to listen paid attention. |
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 18, 2019 2:06:44 GMT -4
Miku wasnt quite in her best mood when she hopped into the chat and it looked like the chat noticed that pretty quickly. People tried to cheer her up. But one name stood out to her the most. Rowan... Rowan was being nice to her? That wasnt the new Rowan. That was something more akin to the old Rowan. This got Miku curious, so she humoured this girl and typed that she will indeed go to see her. Miku didnt know what she will get, but she figured it was better then staying in her dorm room and being depressed. Anything to get her mnd off of 'that'... and Her. The little miss perfect.
Rowan was practicing violin. Miku said forever ago that she'd love to learn it.
"And I guess its finally time" Miku thought to herself as she walked to the music room.
She had to use her poker face. Look happy and not sad. She didnt need anyone else bugging her, and besides... why should she show real feelings and weakness like sadness... She was fine. She was totally fine.
"If I think like this, the sadness will go away, right?" she thought to herself
Soon she arrived to the music room, where Rowan performed. Miku didnt enter, just stood in the entrace and listened to Rowan. Not wanting to interrupt her
|
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on Apr 18, 2019 13:21:40 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ The sound of the violin, the notes of the piano coming from her phone and her eyes closed. She had texted in the U.A. chat again, which she tried to join a bit more when the conversation was going on a pace that she could follow. After Kurusu-san and Grundlewood-san offered her to help her with books the weeks before and Rin suggesting she would go out with Haru-kun, she tried to be there more often to talk to the students she did not know.
She actually was glad that she had joined this time. She focused on this part of the songs, bittersweet and strange. Yes, she had missed Miku and she had not understood why, no one had been able to answer that question for her. Not Saiko, not Relena. She must have done something bad, what was the last thing they talked about? It was on the tip of her tongue, she missed a note and opened her eyes before focusing on the part again. Nick. Yes, she should apologize, she understood now.
When the song was over she lifted her violin from her shoulder and lowered her arms. She held the bow in her left hand as well to shut her phone of and to see if Miku still had send a message. She did hear the door only now and turned around to stare at her friend surprised, as much as she tried to show this fake happiness, Rowan wondered and wondered and wondered, did she do that just to her? "Hey." She put her violin softly on the table. Where to start?
"Miku I am so sorry for what happened, I-I don't know what I did but our last conversation in the cafeteria is all I remember, I am so sorry! I-I did learn from that I don't want to see him ever again and and-and I am dating Haru-kun now." Right, she had felt nervous for the last couple of weeks but after speaking to Ryuusei and Jasmine it seemed to have gone better and she felt more secure after the meeting with Isaac and Sapphira, that was gone in one way now.
"Oops." She said a bit shy after bombarding Miku with the information. But Miku-Miku was her first friend on U.A. She was really important to her thus Rowan decided to say that, she hurried to her friend her side and took her left hand if she allowed her to, in both her own hands. "Miku, you are my best friend and I hope you can forgive me. I will make up for it, I don't know how but I will. You are very important to me."
|
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 18, 2019 17:43:45 GMT -4
When the music finished, Miku stood there silent. Rowan soon noticed her and greeted her. "Hey" Miku said and returned the exact greeting. Rowan soon started to apoogize for what happened. But Miku wasnt in the mood, she couldnt hear it. She couldnt hear any of it. Enough was enough. It was not to say that Miku didnt forgive Rowan. She sure did! But she was too depressed to do anything about the apology
"I dont want to talk about that" she said, hoping to just put that behind them. Miku swiftly changed the subject "So you texted me, right? That you're in the music room and can teach me................. Im here" Miku said
Rowan and Yusaku wanted to cheer her up. And even Eli. But she didnt wanna bother the boys. She was curious to see how Rowan was. Thats why she chose to go to Rowan. She didnt see Rowan in a long time. And she did somethin that triggered her personality switch. Something that Miku didnt know. She avoided Rowan because she changed, and because she made Miku feel pain. But now Miku thought that was worthless, it was all worthlss and for nothing. Even getting angry at Nick is pointless. Just whats the point... She's pathetic |
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on Apr 19, 2019 9:55:49 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ Rowan stopped and let go of Miku her hand softly and looked at her with a worried look in her eyes. "Okay." She said softly because she had no idea what to say now at all, not talk about that, but it felt like it was important, after all, it broke them up right? She nodded, not really understanding why Miku asked that she texted her. Maybe she knew more about Lady than she expected. She gave another nod, did they talk about teaching her? Wow did she forget that already? She did remember that Miku told her someone else played the violin, Levi, but she had not seen that girl in a long time and thus apparently it wasn't taught to Miku. She thought about where to start, that was the question after all.
She wanted to ask to make sure that Miku did not want to talk about it. Learning from her talk to Jasmine and Ryuusei she was sure it could come a bit easier if she talks to people. She was not sure but for now, it was best to focus on something else. "Of course, let me see!" She jumped back up out of her thoughts and went to look through her bag to see if she brought her notes with her, to explain what string made what music, "Eh can you read notes? I mean I know you play a couple of instruments, right?" She remembered the drums for sure but maybe she was doing more things in the meantime. She wasn't entirely sure what to think about more but she needed to focus on Miku. She picked an easier song to let Miku learn the different notes and ways to play the violin.
"Do you want to try?"
She held up her violin and the bow to see if she wanted to try already or if she wanted to see a bit more. Patience was a virtue right, so if Miku wanted to talk, that would come at some point. Maybe music helped her to play and explain what she felt.
|
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 20, 2019 8:57:47 GMT -4
Rowan soon brought notes and explained what string made what noise and then she asked if Miku could read notes. To which Miku chuckled and said "Well of course I can. I learned it online. And be abd musician if I couldnt read notes!"
Rowan picked an easy song for Miku and asked the girl if she wanted to try. "Do you think Im ready? Im scared, I think I'll do a terrible job earrape noises."
She didnt think she had the finesse and technique to try and play it right away, but at least she now got the jist of which string did what, maybe Rowan could play a melody so Miku could see how her hand moves and the stick thingy.... whatever its called. A fiddle? A fiddle stick? Fiddlesticks. Something like that. Maybe after Rowan she'd be more comftarble with trying a tune herself. She now awaited to see if Rowan would play it, she would probably be masterful at the craft, Miku would probably be an embarassment to hear. Or at least at this stage. Hopefully she'll learn it, and with less awkwardness. Because for now, it felt like things were still a wee bit awkward
|
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on Apr 22, 2019 4:40:05 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ She smiled a bit considering Miku chuckled but the black-haired student wondered how much of that was true. "I struggled with reading notes for a long time, but now it's like a second language." Or should she say third, well for now that did not matter. She went to pick one of the starter songs that you could use to play the violin and asked if Miku wanted to try already. Considering she could read notes it made it a bit easier.
She laughed with how Miku described what she would do. "I doubt it but let me show you how it works." She put the violin on her left shoulder and took the bow in her right hand, she closed her eyes shortly, taking a deep breath before playing the short melody that she had just explained to Miku. The sound of the violin to her always sounded like tears and moments of laughter. The pain being subdued by the happiness. She wanted that for herself, she wanted that for Miku but she felt that their relation was as fragile again as when she first came to school. She did apologize, Miku simply said that she did not want to talk about it. She continued the melody, repeating it in an automatic response so Miku could learn the sound of it, the loose hold on her bow, the way she stroked the strings on the violin instead of pushing the instrument and hurting the strings. Finesse was everything you needed.
Why was she here? Rowan wondered, did that mean she was forgiven? What had she done, after talking to Relena and Saiko as well as Jasmine, she learned she had forgotten lots of things but did that mean she had spoken to Miku before and made it worse. She felt the tears of the violin, the cries for help and forgiveness, reaching her, but she did not cry. Maybe that's why she loved the violin as well, Rowan had never cried in her whole life (well not true anymore but everyone would cry out in pain if someone smashed your shoulder) but the violin could form the tears for her.
She wanted Miku to be able to tell her what she did or if there was anything else, a listening ear could do wonders, so she learned. But if they were not really friends anymore. It wasn't up to Rowan to ask her to talk to her and she felt this heavy feeling in her chest. She had screwed up the one friend she had left. |
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 22, 2019 13:43:50 GMT -4
Miku nodded
"Yeah." is all she could say, as she could remember her own struggles when starting to learn. It was heard because she did it alone and just used the internet, she didnt have any human interaction like now.
Rowan thus offered Miku to play the instrument. Miku politely declined and gave reasons as to why. She let Rowan play first. Rowan laughed a bit at Miku's answer and doubted she'd be as bad, but she oblidged and played a melody just to show how it works. Miku watched Rowan and hr stance. She put the violin on her left shoulder and took the bow in her right hand. Miku watched the movements and the posture, anything that could help her. But then Miku noticed tears, she bit her lip and felt bad, what did she do wrong now? Oh god, what does she do? Miku wished she could just shrink out of existence. Should she interrupt the music? But that'd be rude! But but letting her cry would be rude too! Where is Hana when you need her. Whats the right thing to do. With Rowans tears, Miku was frozen, unable to think what to do, what was right and what was wrong |
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on Apr 23, 2019 13:41:34 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ From the normal strings on the violin, just moving her bow and her hand in the easiest rhymes that looked like nursery rhymes that people could learn. Until she simply continued, her favourite song maybe to play; Paganini Caprice no. 24. The upbeat and yet crying sound that made her reach a state that she could not even understand. She wasn't sure what she was doing and especially she did not notice that she was crying. Rowan had for her whole life not been able to cry. She had only been able to show the tears and signs of a girl that was about to cry but she was not able to. While she continued to play the introduction of the song, she simply continued. Automatic feelings taking over and being able to play the song, eyes close, her fingers moving to find the right string without noticing. The fall, like a whirlwind she was going down on a path with no beginning and no end.
She felt so damn lonely and yet everywhere she wanted to reach out, everyone she wanted to reach out to, disappeared, leaving her and they were not wrong. Who would want to be with a monster like Rowan?
She finally lowered the violin, it would be bad to finish the whole Caprice no. 24 because there were difficult parts and such on, it was that she practiced it a lot and so on, but it would be nice to just show off a bit. Maybe that's why people disliked her as well. She moved the bow in the same hand until she notes the little drops on the violin and lifted up her now free right hand to stare surprised at the tears. Since when?
"M-music brings a-a lot of emotions, don't you think?" She quickly said. Why was she here? Why would she return after what she did. Was she forgiven or was it moments away from being told to leave her alone? |
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 23, 2019 15:12:51 GMT -4
Once Rowan finished, she spoke how music can bring out a lot of emotions. Miku who was fearful and nervously shaking like a leaf just said "Y-Yeah"
Miku was scared that she messed up and did something bad again. Maybe it was a mistake to come to Rowan, but she was the one who invited Miku to the music room through the chat. So what was the right thing to do? Miku didnt dare to say anything else, she just awaited for instructions on what to do with the violin, should she take it and play now? But Rowan was crying, she seemed sad, did she want to talk about something? What would they even talk about? Right now it felt like a cat got Miku's tongue, she was unable to speak or form words, she was just scared of making a mistake. She didnt wanna say anything or move even. Miku just wanted to shrink or vanish and just plain not be here. It just felt strange to talk to Rowan after that terrible event, she was just so ashamed of her actions, she didnt wanna talk about it, because she didnt wanna think about it. Miku just wanted to put that behind them, so then why did it haunt her?
|
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on Apr 27, 2019 5:59:33 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ She wondered before what she had done in the period that only had flards and shards of memory. But Miku did not want to answer, she did not want to talk about, and Rowan tried. But she was wrong, she did not know what she did but she was wrong. She had lost, again, all over again, but even if Kanna disappeared and she simply did not kept many contact with others, losing her friend, her best friend if she dare say, that hurt the most. She tried to remember the good parts, people not walking away from her. Relena and Saiko coming to visit, Haru, Kurusu-kun offering her books to read and Ryuusei playing together a song that she liked. But that was not the same.
"I am sorry, ehm." What to say, she wanted talk over it, saying that music was the influence of everything but she could not. She held up her violin and the bow, taken back in her right hand. She held it up to offer it to Miku to take it and try, who cared about the strings needing cautious and careful handeling, the finese of playing a bow or well string instrument. Strings could be replaced, feelings too, if you worked hard and long enough. She just had to build that wall up, show she did not care so she did not hurt others. Not Miku.
Her apology was for here and now, but it was for so much more. Why could she not remember. "Did I hurt you?" Words blurted out before her lips could stop her tongue from forming them. She wanted to know and not to know, she wanted to let it rest but understand, Miku did not want to talk about it so it was up to Rowan to shut up and do not. "I don't remember anything anymore, last I remember is our con-conversation." But which one if they had more, "In-in the cafeteria." Stop talking, she turned her back to Miku finally, as if it worked to stop talking if she did not see her, it depended on the blonde if she was still holding on to the instrument. She should do something, find another easy song, like a childhood song everyone knew or well everyone either here or in England but she did not move. "Forget it." You did not want to talk about it. |
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 27, 2019 11:09:25 GMT -4
When Rowan spoke, it seems she was insistent on dealing with that thing. She really didnt wanna talk about it. Oh God. Maybe if Miku quickly tells her off and shuts off the subject she will be happy. Why the apology and the ugh
"You didnt hurt me, I hurt you when I slapped you and activated your apparent 2nd personality. I was ashamed of that, its painful to talk about and we'll never mention it again...... I dont like bringing things to light that hurt me." Miku said it
Though, maybe she should elaborate just a tinsy bit more
"Its fine, Im not mad. You apologized, its water under the bridge, I just dont like bringing up bad events, I like to leave them behind and forget them. So please... I dont want to talk about it. I just came here because you called me over chat. Now can we please do something else" Miku said
Because Miku in a way had a silver spoon in her mouth... or well... a bronze one since she wasnt rich. But anywho, because she grew up in a protective bubble, Miku was always happy, thus she did not have bad events. But ever since UA, she did and they compiled on and on. The only way Miku learned of how to deal with them was to leave it all behind, forget it ever existed it, put it under a rug. Who knows, maybe its right and maybe its wrong. Maybe she needs a therapist or whatever. But so far, hiding it under a rug helped her. Forgetting bad things helped her. Repressing the negativity helped her. Yes it was still there, but she would not think about it.
|
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on May 1, 2019 3:37:01 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ She stared at Miku, she felt ignored and that was clearly visible on her face. The blonde said that she hurt Rowan but followed by she did not talk about things that hurt her, so what was the truth? Or was Rowan looking too much into it. She opened her mouth to say something, to talk about Lady because she had noticed and it would be worse not to explain, at least tell her where the girl came from but instead she zipped her mouth with a popping sound because no word was made and she bit her lip to shut up.
Shut up.
There were no words she was allowed to say, that's how it felt and it frustrated the fire starter. As she did not say or do anything, Miku elaborated a little bit and Rowan could no longer shut up, "That's not fair for the other party." She said, not looking at the girl who she thought her friend was but probably with these words she would lose her... again. "If I want to explain to make the bad go away or be less bad, I do not stand a chance because you will not allow me to say it. With not talking the bad does not go away, the hurt will stay and your mind might linger and wonder the what if options or what else and you would never get an answer but you will not forget. Talking does not solve anything but it does not stop anything from being understood, being understand why there is a second persona, what it meant to you, I don't know, it just, it's not fair."
She stuck out her hand, but her expression was closed off, angry, hurt, but right she should do what other people did else she would not have or keep any friends. She expected Miku to walk away in a few seconds but she held out the violin for her to take, they could play a song, the easiest one that she had, a childhood song from Japan, it was easy, everyone basically should know the rhythm but it took herself a while to learn it too. But it would be easier than any Piagonni song anyway.
Forget it.
It did not matter, she was alone. That's how it felt, first Kanna told her to not be like that. Now she should just not talk at all and it broke Rowan.
Who could she be if not who she thought she was? |
|
|
1,422 Posts
2 EP
EXP
Total
16 Years
Female
"Lil'Petti"
Student-Rank Quirk:
|
Post by Miku Hajimari on May 1, 2019 5:12:29 GMT -4
Miku looked at Rowan, surprised. It was not fair? O-oh... Oh no, she was doing it again. Fucking up and hurting Rowan.
"O-oh,.... I....umm... sorry. I... didnt know" Miku was at a loss of words now, flabbergasted. She didnt know she would hurt anyone. But now she just wanted to leave. She had no experience nor finesse with this, she was as terrible as her dad in these sitations. She made Rowan angry even if she didnt mean to.
She handed back the violin.
"I did it again... I hurt you... " she wanted to say this, but just couldnt, nothing really came out of her mouth, instead she fell on her knees and hands
"First the slap and now this. What is wrong with me?!" she said well to no one really. But one thing was clear. She cant have friends, because she cant make friends and when she does do that, she cant keep em. It was clear Rowan didnt want her around. Maybe she shouldnt mope and just leave
She barely got up on her feet as she felt weakly again. She looked at Rowan as she held back her own tears
"Im sorry...Im... not wanted... I'll just leave" she said and then turned around to leave
|
|
1,072 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
|
Post by Rowan Sakamoto on May 3, 2019 3:48:20 GMT -4
| ◀ | The heart is a heavy burden ❤ She took back the violin in an automatic motion, the instrument being one that needed careful handeling so even if she wasn't sure what she should do and how bad she had made it she took it back and put it in the case, turning her back to Miku. She did hear her say she hurt her again and even if that was true she was sure she hurt Miku too but the problem was that the blonde did not wanted to talk about that so it was difficult to grasp how much had happened and what had happened if no one wanted to talk about it. She did not know who else to ask, she did not know if she hung out with other people because she could not remember. She heard a thump sound and turned around now that the violin was safe in its case and the bow on top of it and with big surprised eyes stared at Miku who was now on the ground.
She quickly took a few steps closer and listened to what she was saying. "Who says you are not wanted?" She said surprised because that was absolutely not what she meant. "I just wanted to point out how I feel, isn't that how it works?" Great job Rowan, you only made her more upset. "I can't remember anything that's not fair if I did something to you that upset you because I can never fix it. I don't care about the slap, I needed that to understand how bad Nick was, I mean is, the thing is that Lady is just too strong when it comes to him, I don't know why but not being able to explain shuts me out and is unfair, but for yourself, not talking about emotions doesn't make it go away and you see." She waved her hands to indicate Miku herself, "It doesn't make you happy either."
She took the short bit of steps that Miku already took and hugged her, it was a thing, she learned from Sean that hugs were there to calm you down, right? That's what happened during their training, so Rowan did it now to Miku. |
|
|
