Plants, Crows and Armour (Miku/Alaster/Nick)

Nick was not taking the name back and changing it to something else. Not for all the money in the world. As far as he was concerned, there was no name that could have described him better. None that were not explicit, that was. ‘Tihs’ or ‘Dratsab’ might have worked, but somehow he doubted Krowe’s publishers would appreciate those ones quite nearly as much.

He glanced at Krowe with concern as the author discussed the first time they had met all the way back when Krowe had been attacked at his book signing. Krowe thankfully did not give away that the one who had saved him was stood right there, but even so a word he said – specifically, the word he used to describe his saviour – made something inside Nick sink.

Hero. The word stuck in Nick’s mind like a piece of food that would not swallow. The longer it remained the more his excitement over Krowe’s next novel shrivelled until it was nothing. Perhaps Krowe had no idea what he had done to describe him with such a glowing word, but Krowe not knowing the truth did not give Nick as much comfort as he had thought it would – because instead, the author believed him to be a hero.

To think, there had been a time when he had attended a school with the supposed intention of making him into a so-called ‘hero’. It almost seemed as though it had happened a century ago. He could scarcely remember any of it, except for his moments with her, the one who had ultimately brought about his downfall.

No – that was wrong. He had caused his own downfall. He had caused it with his damn emotions getting out of hand and then some. His own actions were to blame and it was because of them he had failed the task set to him by his dearly beloved Mother.

Shut up, a voice snarled at him within his mind. You don’t actually regret no longer going to that godforsaken institute, do you? You know that place was just another way for the Quirkless government to monitor and control us.

While most of Nick agreed with this sentiment, there were parts of him that could not help but wonder and ponder. Yuuei may have been just another way of controlling the Quirked, but he could have still used it. His end goal was to become a beacon for the Quirked people, was it not? Someone to inspire them to rise up and better themselves? A symbol of strength and the domination of the weak? Through Yuuei he could have done this, even if it would have meant playing the damned Quirkless government’s game for a time. That was what becoming a hero had meant to Nick.

All of that was thrown unceremoniously out of the window now, that much he knew. Heroes definitely did not kidnap people or do the kind of things he had done to Rin. Or enjoy doing them. Because as hard as he had broken down after, he knew he had.

I’m filth, he thought, miserably dipping his head as he stewed in the darkest recesses of his heart.

He was no hero of any kind. No character Krowe made would ever truly represent him.

He did not even have it in him to care at all that Miku said something about taking her leave, despite his prior disdain for her presence. Nor did he care that Krowe tried to convince her to remain with them for a time. He simply continued to stand there and stared blankly into space.