The Gospel of Dismay (Nick/Aeris)

Nick was beginning to forget what it was like to have a good night’s sleep. The times he actually managed to drift away after hours of tossing and turning met him with flashes of red; visions that usually involved him being chased through twisted, warped versions of places he knew and a familiar voice’s pained sobs followed by a scream of I hate you. Every time he woke again with a strangled cry, a layer of cold sweat clinging to his body.

This agonising lack of sleep was what had driven him to the local convenience store at such a late hour. He had thought that perhaps a walk would calm him, and he could get something to eat while he was out. He did not feel much calmer as he selected a bag of crisps from the aisle, however; on the inside he merely felt hollow and rotten, as though he had just thrown up.

He wore a simple baggy hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head and the slightly too short trousers Nari had given him. He dared not make eye contact with anyone as he paid for his crisps at the self-service machine and made for the exit.

Unfortunately, this unwillingness to show his face meant he was not fully looking where he was going, which lead to him colliding straight with another. Immediately he froze as he recognised this person’s features all too well. He would recognise her even if they were in the middle of crowd – Aeris Leon. One of the world’s first professional heroes and, most notably, his former teacher at Yuuei. A million curse words exploded through his head in rapid succession as his heartbeat increased tenfold. What the hell did he do now?

He quickly decided there was only one thing he could do.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and hurriedly continued walking at the briskest possible pace.

Shit shit shit. Of all the people he could have run into. Why her? Why here? He truly did have the worst imaginable luck. Please don’t let her have recognised me, he desperately begged the universe in his mind.

Of course, when Nick had begged the universe for his former teacher not to recognise him, he had forgotten one simple fact: the universe despised every molecule of his being.

As such, the words ‘Monsieur Cross’ froze him as though he were a video playback and someone had hit ‘pause’. Tension descended on him and he bared his teeth.

He shot her a glare from beneath his hood that could have withered the Amazon rainforest, frozen molten lava and made the most savage of wild animals cower in fear.

“You of all people should know exactly what the reason is,” he hissed.

He did not have to spell it out for her. She had not only taught him, but also taught Rin as well. And it was Rin he had taken against her will, Rin he had tried to hold captive, Rin he had harmed – all for nothing. He knew. He certainly did not need to be reminded of it.

He kept walking. He did his best to ignore Aeris as she settled on a nearby bench. He had nothing to say to her and he refused to play her game. He had little doubt she would try to follow him, however, and as such braced himself, the growth on his back twitching as it anticipated a fight.

Once again Aeris demonstrated her ability to throw Nick for a loop. He did not stop, but slowed down somewhat and glanced over his shoulder, not quite able to mask the look that reflected the confusion he felt within.

For his former teacher, somehow, had managed to produce a frighteningly, almost too accurate description of exactly what he had been going through ever since that night with Rin.

A familiar anger burned through him at the audacity of this woman trying to act like she understood him and he grimaced. “You’re a little late to psychoanalyse me. Just don’t even try.” His fists balled, the bitterness in his words becoming razor sharp as he continued; “You know, if you’d analysed me sooner, maybe nothing ever would have happened. But you didn’t. Some teacher you are. I’ll pass.”

In truth he would not have sat with her regardless of what she said. He would not have sat with her if she were offering him all the money in the world. He instead increased his pace and continued on his miserable way.

If she wanted to get anything out of him then she was going to have to follow him. He would not bend to her will. Those days were long gone, whether she believed it or not.

Sure enough, as Nick was anticipating Aeris shifted to a more forceful means of negotiation. He heard her moving and glanced over his shoulder in time to dodge the bottle, which missed him by a hair’s breadth.

His fists clenched, his body trembled. He breathed. In, out.

And laughed.

“It’s quite unprofessional of you to attack a former student out in the open, don’t you think?” He raised his head now so she could see the grin on his face that was colder than the Arctic wastes. “You’re not exactly setting a good example here. And you’re supposed to be one of the world’s first pros!”

There was no real mirth inside him, however. All he felt was boiling, bitter rage. He wanted to be left alone. Apparently, everything in the universe had not gotten that message and sought to do the opposite instead.

The grin was gone completely as he glared at her. “Why’s it so hard for you to comprehend, hag? You’re acting like you know me, but if you did, you’d know Yuuei is the worst possible place you could take me to.”

But maybe that was what she wanted. Perhaps she wanted him to endure his enraged classmates and God knew what the principal would dish out. To face repercussions. Of course. Like a true Pro Hero expected all lawbreakers to do.

“I. Refuse.”

There was still so much he had to do. So much he had to become. And she thought she could stop that?

Unable to hold back any longer, his growth spat out its black fluid which spilled over his body and took the shape of his armour. Just as she had expected, he had little doubt, but he was too enraged to care.

He summoned every ounce of the enhanced strength his Quirk granted him and sprinted towards her. He pushed off into the air, aiming to spring over her. As he landed black, slimly, pulsating tendrils burst from each of his palms and he spun like a cyclone with his arms fully outstretched in an attempt to strike her, trip her up or both.

Nick had leapt over her because he had expected her to meet his head on charge. Evidently she did not play that way.

She missed him by mere millimetres as he landed and spun. His momentum came to an end and he sprang back, eyes locked on the tiny version of the irritating hag who had stood before him only seconds ago.

So that’s how it is.

Hitting an opponent so small was not exactly going to be easy for a melee-oriented brawler such as himself. So, he exploded into a swinging frenzy, throwing his whips everywhere and anywhere whilst spinning again in an attempt to cover as much space as possible, not giving her a chance to get near him if he could.

“You know why I did it?” he yelled. “Love. I love her and I know she’ll never love me but I wanted to feel just once like there was something!” Something there was not and that there never would be. He knew that all too well. His actions had only served to remind him of this harsh truth with all the pain of a knife made of the coldest ice being slowly pushed into his chest.

Nick hated many things. Too many things to list. Chief among them was being spoken down to, which his former teacher was the queen of. (The stout Englishman in Nick figured it was part of the parcel of being French).

And she was really pushing it, acting like she knew everything about him and his reasons for doing the things he had done.

“You don’t understand a damn thing, hag!” he cried.

He barely understood himself. He had no intention of trying to explain how he felt to Aeris, and even if he had tried he knew he would not have been able to begin.

He managed to spring backwards high into the air to avoid her next attack, but only just. A microsecond too late and she would have hit him. As he landed he felt his muscles beginning to throb with an all too chillingly familiar ache; his Quirk was reaching its limit.

Fuck, not now!

Panic increased his heartbeat tenfold. He loathed to admit it to himself, but he was not going to win this one. His teacher’s Quirk was a bad matchup against his. It went against everything he stood for, but he had to run. Like a little bitch, he thought in anger.

As broken and lost as he was he still held onto some tattered remnants of his pride, and those remnants were going to take a hell of a beating if he did run. Did he have a choice, though? What was worse: his already shattered pride being shattered some more, or being captured?

With great regret, Nick absorbed his tendrils back into his body, turned tail and bolted. He poured every last drop of strength he had left in his body into his legs. He hurtled down the street, elbowing any foolish bystander who dared cross his path out of the way.

He made it to a subway entrance on the next street and practically threw himself down it. Fortunately for him, at the current time it was not terribly crowded. He vaulted over the barriers and reached the platform proper where a train was conveniently waiting. He lunged onto the train and his armour finally gave out, receding into the growth on his back and leaving him to collapse on the carriage floor.

He pushed himself up and leaned against the side of the carriage, taking heavy breaths. The train doors closed and it took off. Where was it going? He did not care, as long as it was away.

I know I’m fucked up. God, just leave me alone…