Post by Dajh Amare Zane Yun on Mar 4, 2021 17:11:37 GMT -4
"....And I'm doing things because I want to not because I feel like I have to. That's how I felt when I was with you. Around you. It was as though I had to be on my best behaviour because it would and could take anything to set you off. And that was the last thing I needed...or wanted. To see you angry, annoyed or even slightly bothered knowing that I was the cause or the source of it. People say that it was a toxic relationship, and that I deserved and deserve better. So why do I still..."
Pressing send on this text was another step in the wrong direction. His hopes of healing and moving forward with his life were not matching his actions, which were constantly doing the opposite. Something as harmless as thinking back to his time with Colt or Hiro brought a swirl of emotions that dragged him into a downward spiral of memories and destructive actions. Lately Amare has realized that his efforts of calming himself has taken to outbursts of violence. These outbursts often result in the destruction of someone's property and Amare getting away with it due to not being caught.
But that was the old Amare. The Amare from yesterday, last week, last month. Today! Today he was going to change his attitude and do not just one thing, but a long string of productive things. This will prove that he is in charge and control and capable of anything he puts his mind to. Dropping his phone on his bed while music droned from it, the teenager got ready to the beat of a familiar drum ignoring the "Failed to send message" notification he got from his text sent mere seconds ago.
Today's long list of activities started with giving a tour of the school grounds. There were going to be some aspiring hero-in-training applicants coming in and Amare signed up to be one of the select few who would guide them around the campus. He was given an itinerary of where to show the potential students and what to say. It was less of a script and more of guidelines and talking points, what the teachers and principal wanted to students to know about the school and how important learning and their education would be alongside the training to become some of Japan's greatest Heros.
To be honest it was not something Amare would normally do, but as part of his "do better be better" life perspective he signed himself up against his better judgement. What did he really care about some upcoming students? They would show up with their bright eyes, and their aspirations and hopes and dreams. Then they would see the workload. Pay tribute to the monsters that called themselves teachers and then be buried in the homework they will be expected to finish in "a reasonable amount of time". Scoffing at the entire idea Amare forced himself to ignore that little voice in his head that was a whisper a could months ago, but lately has been getting significantly louder.
Dressed in what he considered regular clothes, some lowkey name brands matching his shirt and vest to his socks and shorts. His shoes would match his non-prescription sunglasses as he waited under the highborn sun waiting for the victi- new potential students to arrive, a water bottle in one hand, the guide brochure in the other.
"They had to pick the hottest day this week to do this..."
Pressing send on this text was another step in the wrong direction. His hopes of healing and moving forward with his life were not matching his actions, which were constantly doing the opposite. Something as harmless as thinking back to his time with Colt or Hiro brought a swirl of emotions that dragged him into a downward spiral of memories and destructive actions. Lately Amare has realized that his efforts of calming himself has taken to outbursts of violence. These outbursts often result in the destruction of someone's property and Amare getting away with it due to not being caught.
But that was the old Amare. The Amare from yesterday, last week, last month. Today! Today he was going to change his attitude and do not just one thing, but a long string of productive things. This will prove that he is in charge and control and capable of anything he puts his mind to. Dropping his phone on his bed while music droned from it, the teenager got ready to the beat of a familiar drum ignoring the "Failed to send message" notification he got from his text sent mere seconds ago.
Today's long list of activities started with giving a tour of the school grounds. There were going to be some aspiring hero-in-training applicants coming in and Amare signed up to be one of the select few who would guide them around the campus. He was given an itinerary of where to show the potential students and what to say. It was less of a script and more of guidelines and talking points, what the teachers and principal wanted to students to know about the school and how important learning and their education would be alongside the training to become some of Japan's greatest Heros.
To be honest it was not something Amare would normally do, but as part of his "do better be better" life perspective he signed himself up against his better judgement. What did he really care about some upcoming students? They would show up with their bright eyes, and their aspirations and hopes and dreams. Then they would see the workload. Pay tribute to the monsters that called themselves teachers and then be buried in the homework they will be expected to finish in "a reasonable amount of time". Scoffing at the entire idea Amare forced himself to ignore that little voice in his head that was a whisper a could months ago, but lately has been getting significantly louder.
Dressed in what he considered regular clothes, some lowkey name brands matching his shirt and vest to his socks and shorts. His shoes would match his non-prescription sunglasses as he waited under the highborn sun waiting for the victi- new potential students to arrive, a water bottle in one hand, the guide brochure in the other.
"They had to pick the hottest day this week to do this..."
