Post by Jasmine Noir on Jan 18, 2021 11:30:29 GMT -4
Normally Jasmine wasn't somebody who let things bring her down. There were a lot of things she held incredibly close to her heart and only very few of those were items that would be the cause of anything resembling a smile. Stories painted with tragedy, regrets masquerading as memories, mistakes supposedly justified through the excuse of growth -- the core elements that made up the equation that was Jasmine Noir, in some respects a broken shell of a person trying to be anything but. Despite that she consistently pushed herself forward, dealing with whatever issues came as best she could so she'd be able to be there when she was needed not only by the general populace but by the people she cared about who were still there. She-
Christ that conversation she had with Angel earlier today was still far too fresh on her mind.
A soft sigh left Jasmine's lips as she fluffed her mismatched hair up, still damp from the steaming shower she'd just taken. The training session she had initially planned had gone completely haywire, what with Angel finding herself there with her own woes she needed to talk about. Even though she didn't particularly like the girl in any way the musician had decided to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on and while suffice it to say she was glad she was able to help to some degree and mend that bridge, she could've done without having to remember things that were now clawing at her psyche like a pack of starving hyenas she was ready to commit genocide against.
Slinking into her chair in front of her desk, Jasmine slumped into it tiredly, legs stretching out while her arms fell limp on her thighs. Her azure gaze was firmly planted on the bright screen of her laptop, digital ink on a notepad blaring out her lengthy to-do list of coursework. Motivation was still nowhere to be found, though, and the mere idea of having to do so much shit honestly just made her feel like sleeping the whole day away.
So dazed in her own melancholic thoughts brought on by the memories that were still playing out inside of her head Jasmine was unable to even notice her phone buzz on her desk. It had likely gotten through about six or so rings before she realized someone was calling her. A groan left her lips, every nerve ending in her body telling her to just ignore it and normally she would have had she not realized it was an unknown number calling. She wasn't one to share her digits so the likelihood of this being a prank call was slim to none at best. She sighed to herself again, her curiosity taking over despite the seemingly endless tug of teenage depression trying to pull her down.
A lone finger swiped at the green answer button on the touchscreen before she placed the device against her ear.
"Hello?"
Shit, that was going to be more difficult than what he imagined, wasn't it? Oh well, he already committed to it, so there was no going back. His voice had gotten a little deeper, but she would surely recognize him in a heart-beat. After all, it was still him.
Jasmine kept her phone against her ear, drumming her fingers against her desk at an almost impatient rhythm. The other line was silent and with everything that had happened earlier today she was sure as shit not in the mood for what did now seem like that one unlikely prank call at the worst possible moment. She sighed to herself tiredly, about to give whoever decided to call her a piece of her mind when a voice finally came.
"I probably should've called sooner, right?"
She froze almost immediately, slightly reddened eyes widening to the point the black circles around them became almost comical. Jasmine's brain immediately recognized that damn voice but it still felt like she short-circuited for a little while, just... gawking. "I..." She stammered out, unable to keep herself from confirming.
"...Ryuu?
"Yeah, alive and well... Surprisingly."
Fuck. A little longer silence. He had everything planned out, Yoru had even made him more relaxed about the whole thing, but he was straight up chocking - shot clock winding down and he was throwing bricks. Dealing with emotions and feelings was never his strong point and in this situation where he knew that, no matter how he put it, he felt like he had just abandoned Jaz... Damn it. How many months had it even been?
"How are things going?"
"I... you..." Jasmine stammered out one more time, the full realization of exactly who just called making her choke up momentarily. All of those months came crashing onto her shoulders like a hail of boulders weighing no less than a fucking infinity, further spurred on by the conversation she had with Angel and the memories it brought back of them. A shaky hand came to cover her mouth, lips still ajar as disbelief kept her from being able to form any coherent sentences.
Until, of course, anger finally shot through the otherwise composed mindset she'd been known for lately.
"You... you... bastard!" She yelled out into her phone as she shot up from her seat, barring her fangs like the lioness she used to be, her other hand slamming into her desk so hard for a moment she thought she broke it. "Do you have any idea how long it's been?! How fucking worried I was?! All this time and all you gotta say to me is how are things going?!" That last part she made with as mocking a voice as possible, and yet... the crack in it was unmistakable.
Jasmine paused as she grit her teeth, quickly beginning to feel her eyes burn. She went deathly silent for what felt like an eternity before finally speaking again.
"I... I missed you, you, you.... you stupid... fucking... idiot...!"
He couldn't say much. He was a bastard. He should have said something sooner. He knew how worried she must have been. It was just... complicated. That wasn't an excuse, not by a long shot, but it was as if Jasmine represented the last knot tying him up to a different life and, until recently, he didn't know how to go about untying it. It was unfair to her. It was selfish of him. But... Well, he was trying his best now, whatever that was worth. When she said that she missed him though... Fuck. He didn't know what to reply, just like always.
And then the screams of his anchor could be heard in the background.
"WE MISS YOU TOO, JAZ!" the girl would definitely hear and also recognize that voice.
Ryuusei chuckled a bit, now less nervous.
"Yoru's here too... We're, well, together, I guess. Auch!" he finished in a little bit of pain, consequence of Yoruhi bumping him in the shoulder as if to say "I guess?!"
He took a big breath, now a little more relaxed. And, before any other explanation, any other of the million things he wanted to share, he said what he had been wanting to say for so long, what had been eating him up.
"I'm sorry, Jasmine. I really am."
She was angry. Pissed off. Enraged. Whatever fucking synonym the word anger had could've probably been attributed to the third year right at this very moment. She was practically steaming, so much so that the tips of her ears had gone red. So much fucking time, all of it spent completely alone thinking she had no one. Yet there he was, calling her like none of it had ever happened. Jasmine had half a mind to just end the call right there by tossing her phone so far out her bloody window it'd reach New York by morning.
Until another voice came into play, knocking her into her senses.
Her hand rose to her mouth again, unable to form a singular coherent word nor even make a sound. Bright azure eyes, now damp with emotion, stared off into space as she just took their voices in. Those two voices she used to hear every single damn day, voices which sounded like they deepened, matured... yet still stayed the same.
Jasmine stumbled in her step as she went over to her bedside, her ass plopping down against the floor as she found herself struggling to stand straight. This... this was some kind of joke, right? It had to be. There was no way. Somehow Jasmine had managed to convince herself that none of this could be real; like these two bastards weren't there for her when she needed them the most.
But Yoruhi bullying Ryuusei and the latter subsequently apologizing to Jasmine quickly dispelled any semblance of that. Some things never changed, did they?
"Shut up, you stupid apologetic mushroom..." Jasmine said through a cracking voice, sniffling out a gargled giggle. Another pause. This one less of shock and more just... acceptance. It was them. It was really, truly them.
And in the warmest smile she had shown in months, she spoke her next words into the microphone with such a caring feeling she felt like she was a first year again. "How are you boys doing?"
Like the weight of the world had gotten off his shoulders. That's how it felt when he heard Jasmine's true voice - the voice that she often kept hidden, the voice that most people never got the chance to hear. In that "How are you boys doing?" was all the hope needed: if after all the chaos that Jasmine still existed then Ryuusei was sure that Japan was sure to be safe for years to come.
"Good. We're in Seoul right now with my family, can't really go back Japan..."
And for the next hour or so, they talked. Like they did countless other times. Ryuusei explained how he briefly was in Japan to take care of unfinished business, how he even met Jasmine as Zero without her knowing, how he rescued Yaso after she woke up and how he got pardoned by the country for all the killings he did with the condition that he could never return. It was good, really good. And then, at the end...
"We have to bounce right now, told our parents we'd meet them for dinner. I'll call you again in a few days, okay? You can save this number."
A little silence after her reply.
"And Jasmine...-"
Even if she had been marred by disbelief Jasmine couldn't hide the warm feeling which welled up in her chest even if she wanted to try. She found this entire situation far too surreal yet had it actually been a dream she'd struggle to say she'd want to wake up. "It's so good to hear your voices, guys..." she admitted, once again sniffling and then quickly wiping her nose with the back of her hoodie's sleeve. God she was such a mess.
The next hour flew by far too quickly. Honestly Jasmine didn't want it to end but as so many things so often did, it had to. She had gotten to know so many things about the road Ryuusei and Yoruhi had gone through to end up where they were now. She was glad. Immensely so. In fact she was sure her cheeks was starting to hurt from smiling so much, although she'd be damned if she cared about something like that at this point.
She ended up sharing her own story, too. Everything that happened in New York, Rin's disappearance, how she ended up coming back with so little to her name. She shared the story of how Red Horn had taken her in as family, how the two of them had grown to become sisters unbound by blood. Her love life had also ended up being a topic, though Jasmine didn't linger on it for too long beyond boasting how she was attracting models all of a sudden. Her work as a hero-in-training, her music career, getting back into drawing... they talked about so many things Jasmine couldn't even recall half of what she said yet she was confident she hadn't hidden anything.
It was them, after all. Her two best friends. People she'd die for.
People she lived on for.
"Sure thing," Jasmine replied, hugging her legs close to her chest with an arm hooked around them as she still lingered on the floor, back against her bed. "Give my best to Yaso too, alright? I- Hm?
"-You're not alone."
The words struck her like a battering ram, making her eyes go wide. She was stunned as silence crept in, yet the smile that spread on her face said every word needed all on its own.
"Yeah..." she replied in a whisper before the call ended.
Jasmine let her hand fall to the side, head tilting back as she just stared into the ceiling. Different emotions spread across her like wildfire as she tried to organize her erratic thoughts into neat compartments inside her brain. Trying, and failing. She chuckled at that. Her attention was once more taken from her, though, when her phone buzzed alive once more, the number of vibrations letting her know that it was a text message this time.
Yo, Exploradora, someone reminded me you are still here and kicking, so. Just. Keep it up. Text whenever.
Signed, That living firethrower you almost bombed in school once.
Golden locks fell over wet eyes as Jasmine stared at the message, reading it over and over again all while the entire conversation she had just had with them played itself from start to finish again in her mind. Slowly she got back up onto her feet, stumbling a little but keeping herself upright through a hand supporting her weight against her bed. The girl scrambled her way towards her wall cupboard, glazed eyes scanning over the many picture frames she had on display.
When she found what she was looking for, she smiled again. A simple picture, really, one that none of the four in it likely knew would hold this much meaning at any point in their lives. Front row was Rin, offering a bright and big smile for the camera. At her left was Yoruhi, seemingly angry and glaring holes at Ryuusei who was at Rin's right and clearly disinterested with the whole matter... all while the taller Jasmine was behind them, a dorky grin on her face as her hands were on the two boys' heads in what she remembered was an attempt to keep them from beating each other half to death.
She finally felt it. The wave of emotion as her walls caved. With crossed arms Jasmine hugged the picture frame tight against her chest, her legs finally giving out and making her fall to her knees. Tears freely flowed from the corners of her eyes as she wailed, yet her cries weren't of sadness, sorrow or longing. Ryuusei's parting words rung in her mind again as she, for the first time, felt like she truly wasn't alone. Even if she couldn't see them, they were there. With her. Rooting for her. Urging her on.
And as the sun began to set over the horizon, Jasmine chuckled.
As she spoke her next words with more honesty than she had ever shown in her life, she finally realized-
"I love you, my stupid, lovable little goofballs..."
-that she was happy.
Christ that conversation she had with Angel earlier today was still far too fresh on her mind.
A soft sigh left Jasmine's lips as she fluffed her mismatched hair up, still damp from the steaming shower she'd just taken. The training session she had initially planned had gone completely haywire, what with Angel finding herself there with her own woes she needed to talk about. Even though she didn't particularly like the girl in any way the musician had decided to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on and while suffice it to say she was glad she was able to help to some degree and mend that bridge, she could've done without having to remember things that were now clawing at her psyche like a pack of starving hyenas she was ready to commit genocide against.
Slinking into her chair in front of her desk, Jasmine slumped into it tiredly, legs stretching out while her arms fell limp on her thighs. Her azure gaze was firmly planted on the bright screen of her laptop, digital ink on a notepad blaring out her lengthy to-do list of coursework. Motivation was still nowhere to be found, though, and the mere idea of having to do so much shit honestly just made her feel like sleeping the whole day away.
So dazed in her own melancholic thoughts brought on by the memories that were still playing out inside of her head Jasmine was unable to even notice her phone buzz on her desk. It had likely gotten through about six or so rings before she realized someone was calling her. A groan left her lips, every nerve ending in her body telling her to just ignore it and normally she would have had she not realized it was an unknown number calling. She wasn't one to share her digits so the likelihood of this being a prank call was slim to none at best. She sighed to herself again, her curiosity taking over despite the seemingly endless tug of teenage depression trying to pull her down.
A lone finger swiped at the green answer button on the touchscreen before she placed the device against her ear.
"Hello?"
Shit, that was going to be more difficult than what he imagined, wasn't it? Oh well, he already committed to it, so there was no going back. His voice had gotten a little deeper, but she would surely recognize him in a heart-beat. After all, it was still him.
Jasmine kept her phone against her ear, drumming her fingers against her desk at an almost impatient rhythm. The other line was silent and with everything that had happened earlier today she was sure as shit not in the mood for what did now seem like that one unlikely prank call at the worst possible moment. She sighed to herself tiredly, about to give whoever decided to call her a piece of her mind when a voice finally came.
"I probably should've called sooner, right?"
She froze almost immediately, slightly reddened eyes widening to the point the black circles around them became almost comical. Jasmine's brain immediately recognized that damn voice but it still felt like she short-circuited for a little while, just... gawking. "I..." She stammered out, unable to keep herself from confirming.
"...Ryuu?
"Yeah, alive and well... Surprisingly."
Fuck. A little longer silence. He had everything planned out, Yoru had even made him more relaxed about the whole thing, but he was straight up chocking - shot clock winding down and he was throwing bricks. Dealing with emotions and feelings was never his strong point and in this situation where he knew that, no matter how he put it, he felt like he had just abandoned Jaz... Damn it. How many months had it even been?
"How are things going?"
"I... you..." Jasmine stammered out one more time, the full realization of exactly who just called making her choke up momentarily. All of those months came crashing onto her shoulders like a hail of boulders weighing no less than a fucking infinity, further spurred on by the conversation she had with Angel and the memories it brought back of them. A shaky hand came to cover her mouth, lips still ajar as disbelief kept her from being able to form any coherent sentences.
Until, of course, anger finally shot through the otherwise composed mindset she'd been known for lately.
"You... you... bastard!" She yelled out into her phone as she shot up from her seat, barring her fangs like the lioness she used to be, her other hand slamming into her desk so hard for a moment she thought she broke it. "Do you have any idea how long it's been?! How fucking worried I was?! All this time and all you gotta say to me is how are things going?!" That last part she made with as mocking a voice as possible, and yet... the crack in it was unmistakable.
Jasmine paused as she grit her teeth, quickly beginning to feel her eyes burn. She went deathly silent for what felt like an eternity before finally speaking again.
"I... I missed you, you, you.... you stupid... fucking... idiot...!"
He couldn't say much. He was a bastard. He should have said something sooner. He knew how worried she must have been. It was just... complicated. That wasn't an excuse, not by a long shot, but it was as if Jasmine represented the last knot tying him up to a different life and, until recently, he didn't know how to go about untying it. It was unfair to her. It was selfish of him. But... Well, he was trying his best now, whatever that was worth. When she said that she missed him though... Fuck. He didn't know what to reply, just like always.
And then the screams of his anchor could be heard in the background.
"WE MISS YOU TOO, JAZ!" the girl would definitely hear and also recognize that voice.
Ryuusei chuckled a bit, now less nervous.
"Yoru's here too... We're, well, together, I guess. Auch!" he finished in a little bit of pain, consequence of Yoruhi bumping him in the shoulder as if to say "I guess?!"
He took a big breath, now a little more relaxed. And, before any other explanation, any other of the million things he wanted to share, he said what he had been wanting to say for so long, what had been eating him up.
"I'm sorry, Jasmine. I really am."
She was angry. Pissed off. Enraged. Whatever fucking synonym the word anger had could've probably been attributed to the third year right at this very moment. She was practically steaming, so much so that the tips of her ears had gone red. So much fucking time, all of it spent completely alone thinking she had no one. Yet there he was, calling her like none of it had ever happened. Jasmine had half a mind to just end the call right there by tossing her phone so far out her bloody window it'd reach New York by morning.
Until another voice came into play, knocking her into her senses.
Her hand rose to her mouth again, unable to form a singular coherent word nor even make a sound. Bright azure eyes, now damp with emotion, stared off into space as she just took their voices in. Those two voices she used to hear every single damn day, voices which sounded like they deepened, matured... yet still stayed the same.
Jasmine stumbled in her step as she went over to her bedside, her ass plopping down against the floor as she found herself struggling to stand straight. This... this was some kind of joke, right? It had to be. There was no way. Somehow Jasmine had managed to convince herself that none of this could be real; like these two bastards weren't there for her when she needed them the most.
But Yoruhi bullying Ryuusei and the latter subsequently apologizing to Jasmine quickly dispelled any semblance of that. Some things never changed, did they?
"Shut up, you stupid apologetic mushroom..." Jasmine said through a cracking voice, sniffling out a gargled giggle. Another pause. This one less of shock and more just... acceptance. It was them. It was really, truly them.
And in the warmest smile she had shown in months, she spoke her next words into the microphone with such a caring feeling she felt like she was a first year again. "How are you boys doing?"
Like the weight of the world had gotten off his shoulders. That's how it felt when he heard Jasmine's true voice - the voice that she often kept hidden, the voice that most people never got the chance to hear. In that "How are you boys doing?" was all the hope needed: if after all the chaos that Jasmine still existed then Ryuusei was sure that Japan was sure to be safe for years to come.
"Good. We're in Seoul right now with my family, can't really go back Japan..."
And for the next hour or so, they talked. Like they did countless other times. Ryuusei explained how he briefly was in Japan to take care of unfinished business, how he even met Jasmine as Zero without her knowing, how he rescued Yaso after she woke up and how he got pardoned by the country for all the killings he did with the condition that he could never return. It was good, really good. And then, at the end...
"We have to bounce right now, told our parents we'd meet them for dinner. I'll call you again in a few days, okay? You can save this number."
A little silence after her reply.
"And Jasmine...-"
Even if she had been marred by disbelief Jasmine couldn't hide the warm feeling which welled up in her chest even if she wanted to try. She found this entire situation far too surreal yet had it actually been a dream she'd struggle to say she'd want to wake up. "It's so good to hear your voices, guys..." she admitted, once again sniffling and then quickly wiping her nose with the back of her hoodie's sleeve. God she was such a mess.
The next hour flew by far too quickly. Honestly Jasmine didn't want it to end but as so many things so often did, it had to. She had gotten to know so many things about the road Ryuusei and Yoruhi had gone through to end up where they were now. She was glad. Immensely so. In fact she was sure her cheeks was starting to hurt from smiling so much, although she'd be damned if she cared about something like that at this point.
She ended up sharing her own story, too. Everything that happened in New York, Rin's disappearance, how she ended up coming back with so little to her name. She shared the story of how Red Horn had taken her in as family, how the two of them had grown to become sisters unbound by blood. Her love life had also ended up being a topic, though Jasmine didn't linger on it for too long beyond boasting how she was attracting models all of a sudden. Her work as a hero-in-training, her music career, getting back into drawing... they talked about so many things Jasmine couldn't even recall half of what she said yet she was confident she hadn't hidden anything.
It was them, after all. Her two best friends. People she'd die for.
People she lived on for.
"Sure thing," Jasmine replied, hugging her legs close to her chest with an arm hooked around them as she still lingered on the floor, back against her bed. "Give my best to Yaso too, alright? I- Hm?
"-You're not alone."
The words struck her like a battering ram, making her eyes go wide. She was stunned as silence crept in, yet the smile that spread on her face said every word needed all on its own.
"Yeah..." she replied in a whisper before the call ended.
Jasmine let her hand fall to the side, head tilting back as she just stared into the ceiling. Different emotions spread across her like wildfire as she tried to organize her erratic thoughts into neat compartments inside her brain. Trying, and failing. She chuckled at that. Her attention was once more taken from her, though, when her phone buzzed alive once more, the number of vibrations letting her know that it was a text message this time.
Yo, Exploradora, someone reminded me you are still here and kicking, so. Just. Keep it up. Text whenever.
Signed, That living firethrower you almost bombed in school once.
Golden locks fell over wet eyes as Jasmine stared at the message, reading it over and over again all while the entire conversation she had just had with them played itself from start to finish again in her mind. Slowly she got back up onto her feet, stumbling a little but keeping herself upright through a hand supporting her weight against her bed. The girl scrambled her way towards her wall cupboard, glazed eyes scanning over the many picture frames she had on display.
When she found what she was looking for, she smiled again. A simple picture, really, one that none of the four in it likely knew would hold this much meaning at any point in their lives. Front row was Rin, offering a bright and big smile for the camera. At her left was Yoruhi, seemingly angry and glaring holes at Ryuusei who was at Rin's right and clearly disinterested with the whole matter... all while the taller Jasmine was behind them, a dorky grin on her face as her hands were on the two boys' heads in what she remembered was an attempt to keep them from beating each other half to death.
She finally felt it. The wave of emotion as her walls caved. With crossed arms Jasmine hugged the picture frame tight against her chest, her legs finally giving out and making her fall to her knees. Tears freely flowed from the corners of her eyes as she wailed, yet her cries weren't of sadness, sorrow or longing. Ryuusei's parting words rung in her mind again as she, for the first time, felt like she truly wasn't alone. Even if she couldn't see them, they were there. With her. Rooting for her. Urging her on.
And as the sun began to set over the horizon, Jasmine chuckled.
As she spoke her next words with more honesty than she had ever shown in her life, she finally realized-
"I love you, my stupid, lovable little goofballs..."
-that she was happy.
