Somebody Else's Heart [Antonio | Saga]

[attr="class","grHeader"]

[attr="class","grHeaderB"]

[attr="class","grBody"]A me thing? It surprised her a little and she did not know what to say, but she nodded, "Well it could be worth your time, I just could ask you to do favours for me or something along those lines." But she would see, they weren't going to talk about work all the time right? Then what was the point of taking a day off? So she just let it be and wondered and thought about what she could use Antonio for, it felt wrong to consider it in that way but she would not say much more and just see if he continued and what he would say or not but eventually they went outside, talked about other things because obviously no one talked about their hidden job in public like that. She just followed, did suggest some things, followed along and made sure she looked pretty so to say, that was her job, wasn't it and who knew what she would see today or who she would bump into.[break][break]

She would watch everyone in the restaurant, her eyes wandering but not staring, looking friendly but not trusting. She was close to Antonio, in his personal bubble but not touching him until he took her hand, and she wasn't even sure what to think of that. Maybe, she felt a little fear within her but she wasn't going to say that out loud. She gave a soft laugh when he said he did not want to go to an Italian restaurant and she appreciated that and would just follow him to their seat. She wondered about Shinagawa and the issues that happened here as she had not been around. She took a seat and watched the pretty boy lean towards her. Curiously she followed his example, though she casually remained with her hand on her cheek and her elbow next to the napkin, it wasn't fancy but she did not care about the rules that stupid people cared about. Not now, she will show her table manners later.[break][break]

"Not everyone will remember that and not everyone will care. I wasn't here when it all happened, I arrived a few weeks later, so I am just wondering, still trying to grasp all the information what happened and what it means for society. What the planets have in store for us small and maybe weak human beings." The fight that this hag had shown them between the number one vigilante and the now number two villain was interesting, also the outcome had been not so clear but maybe this had cleared it up and she wondered a lot about it. She leaned back in her chair and took the menu from the waitress and asking about the dirty snails on the menu. "You want me to eat snails?" She looked up, hearing he was teasing for sure but she would only if he would recommend it and do so himself. She looked up at the rose and back at his eyes, surprised, flabbergasted and lost for words. She simply took the rose, smelled it and smiled a little before putting it carefully next to her plate. "I ehm, I would rather prefer oysters." She tried to pretend nothing happened but she clearly had issues with talking and saying what she thought.

[attr="class","grHeader"]

[attr="class","grHeaderB"]

[attr="class","grBody"]Everything about Japan was in segments, in moments that came and moments that went. It was hard to find information as the Japanese did not seem to like to talk about dishonourable moments in the past. As an informant it was her job to get the right information, to get all the information but if she did not speak to the right people, she only had to do with the articles that were printed and that was just it. She wasn't sure what to do with it, but at this point, it wasn't necessary as they were here on a.. on a... it hit her that it awfully looked like a date which shut up her mouth and she tried to focus on something else. But well it was kind of stupid to shut up Antonio. She could just make sure it was just a pay-back as he had said, they could enjoy tonight and after this as well then it was the same as always.[break][break]

She laughed a little, already forgotten her dreadful thoughts from before when he said he didn't want her to eat snails, "Probably too slimy, nope?" She stuck out her tongue to show she was teasing before brushing her hair behind her ear and looking around. This luxurious place showed so many couples and business people that she started to calm down a little again, not entirely sure what to think or say about it anyway. So she wanted to say something else by looking at the menu but Antonio offered her a rose.[break][break]

Without anything to say or she couldn't even find a word she just sat there, tried to open her mouth and say something and just nothing. She blushed and looked away. She would quickly put the rose, yet carefully, next to her plate and turn her attention back to the menu and tried to make the atmosphere less loaded in her opinion. Though well there was an innuendo with what she said and she looked away again.[break]
She smiled at his play of word and nodded, she would order oysters herself and would now sit up straight, elbows of the table, a smile on her face and taking a sip of the water that was on the table. Now they should talk about something but she wasn't sure what and well all there was waiting for the oysters to be served. What else to say, they spoke already for all of today, so what more to say?

[attr="class","grHeader"]

[attr="class","grHeaderB"]

[attr="class","grBody"]She blushed and smiled, holding her cheek when she heard what he said. She was sure she got it and she listened to him speak Italian and wondered what it meant but he said it immediately and she snickered. "And oysters look appetising because?" She couldn't help but laugh again and they talked, they continued to do so and she was glad he was being able to come up with a conversation. All she could do was small talk and that did not work for the next couple of minutes after they ordered and in between. As their official drink was brought and the oysters, the idea was to have a toast and she would comply to that with ease, holding up her glass and softly ticking it against his glass while she smiled, to their partnership.[break][break]

But that's when everything came down. She smiled, she had her shoulders down and looked utterly relaxed. She had rolled her eyes with a smile as Antonio immediately paid so she couldn't do it. And she looked up when he spoke her name, she felt it. There was a change in the air when he spoke her name like that. So serious and yet fidgety? Was he nervous and her eyes already turned a little bit bigger and her smile disappeared and she quickly put the glass down. He spoke about that day in the park, a few weeks ago where she had gone to find him. She thought he would hurt himself and had gone out to quickly to find him and stop him. But she bit her lip, she was in panic right now. No please no. She knew it, she felt that he would say.[break][break]

There was no denying she felt something, her heart jump but in the meantime, her stomach made a flip and her brain screamed at her. She slowly pulled her hand away from Antonio, she felt it, the tears showing up in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. All she wanted was that he would take it back, say it was a joke or something. "Please-please you can't." He did not know her, he did not know what she was going to do or what she did and how this was going. She tried to push her chair back but it didn't work because of the carpet and she felt stuck. She wanted to get out of here and she shook her head. No, no this couldn't help, this was horrible, she needed to convince him. She was losing him and for what?

[attr="class","grHeader"]

[attr="class","grHeaderB"]

[attr="class","grBody"]Oh god, she saw that. The green sparkle in his eyes turned dull. She had done it, she had done it again, bravo Narcissa, you are the vilest woman in the world. She couldn't stand it, she shouldn't see it and finally with some power, she pushed herself off the table, got the chair away behind her and she got up. She was still trembling, holding her hand in front of her face, trying to find a way out in this mess of people and mess of her thoughts. Not Antonio, no, please. The cards had spoken about an addiction, not about love, this wasn't the card of lovers, this wasn't the ten of cups, this was temperance. And she knew that and she was sure something in her felt it. But she couldn't give in to the feeling, they could not trust other people, neither of them could and she did not want to hurt him and that's when it broke her. Oh god, that's why.. she just didn't want to hurt him and she would hurt him if she let him further into her life and tears finally flowed over her cheeks.[break][break]

She did not hear him getting up, she did not feel anything on her hand or wrist but he held her and she cried, down in the foyer of Quintenesse. "I-I can't." She said between sobs, "I don't want to hurt you." But he did not know and he would not know nor understand because she would swear to herself that she would never tell him. If Antonio let her, she would bury her face against his chest and hold on to his shirt while she sobbed, he did mean a lot to her but she could not do this. They started on the wrong foot, she was the wrong person, he was a villain. She could not give him whatever he expected because she was broken, she was a nothing. She could not keep up this charade of anything. "You are mistaken, you don't know me. I cannot show you who I really am, that person is dead, I cannot be the person you are looking for as there are so many better and honest women out there, Antonio please." Please take it back, please say it isn't true, please don't leave her hanging. "I don't want to hurt you." Wasn't that enough to say that he meant the world to her but she could do nothing with it? She got grumpy to him, she got attached to him but she was a horrible human being and she should stay away from him. Now and forever.

[attr="class","grHeader"]

[attr="class","grHeaderB"]

[attr="class","grBody"]No, no this couldn't be worse. Why did he tell her this? But she had to tell him, she would have to take a deep breath and be mature about it. But she couldn't, she felt it but worse of all. She saw it on his face. She wanted to hold him, put her hand on his cheek but all... she couldn't do that at all. She could not do anything as she broke him and as she started to cry as well and hid her face against him. She knew that would hurt him, she knew it, she could again feel it. Everything was horrible, everything she should stop, she should get away from him, this was not what she was supposed to do. It made her cry even more. She felt horrible, "I am sorry." she said softly as he took a step away from her. She knew that she understood and she looked at the floor, "I don't know." Her voice shrill, her body language desperate. She did not know what to do or what to say at all. "I am sorry, please-"[break][break]

She watched him, he might have the same look in his eyes as she had when they told her she was the culprit. It was her fault and she swore she never wanted to see that again or use that expression. He turned his back to her and all she could do was extend her hand to try and stop him but she did not move and did not manage to speak. Goodbye? That was it? Just goodbye and she stood there and she felt so lost and so alone again. The one who had made her feel not alone just left and there she was again, new to Tokyo and no one to worry about, no one to think about. What more could she want and she watched him leave and when three was no thought anymore in her mind, just plain hate for herself, when she couldn't see Antonio anymore or hear his car, she finally moved outside to go grab a taxi. She cried, and cried some more and she would just try to stop crying when she climbed in the cab and would wait for herself to be home before breaking down even more. There was nothing to say, she felt horrible in general and just hated on herself, plucking on her hair and just wondering where it all gone wrong.

She hoped for a time machine, very badly.