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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 14, 2020 15:43:11 GMT -4
"Hush little darling don't you cry." The young mother sang softly under her breath to her son as she shook him softly while holding him in her arms, he played with her hair, he giggled. He had been marvelous during the flight, it had been great, she had found enough ways to distract him, to be busy, to walk and he only cried once or twice very shortly. No, Hanako had been prepared for that. She had maybe not been very well prepared for the silence and ignore mood that she had been given G but that was something she survived as well. She was now walking up and down with him in the hotel, it was very sweet of the girl, ehm what was her name, to offer them a suit. She wasn't sure if she felt okay about the not paying part but you never look a gifted horse in the mouth. The hotel had so many facilities, she got sort of lost while walking around with Kai, who was nibbling on the toy that Elena had given him, months ago. She wondered if she should call her friend, trying to make that cooking appointment had been a disaster with how sick she got and the wedding and Shinagawa and everything the like.
She felt like she might be a failure of a friend and now she was in England, a failure of a wife. She opened their hotel room with the card that she got and put her little baby into his little crib. Rowan, that was her name, she had thought about everything as their hotel room had a baby room next to their room, albeit she wished there was more separate space. The two bedrooms in the suite was already a very big thing to consider, but at the moment she felt that she wanted to be away from G and not at all, it was difficult. Very difficult. She felt horrible and walked to the window now that Kai was probably falling asleep. She felt tired, the jetlag was probably to blame as she moved her head a little to left and later to the right and made a little round move with it and rolled her shoulders. Tense, tired, unhappy. It was clearly written on her face. She wrapped her arms around her own stomach and sighed, she should maybe go and try the pool, the sauna or something, anything to relax. Maybe call a masseuse? That latter part felt like a betrayal part too, G could do it. She had no idea where he was or if she should ask him, she did not want him to touch her. That was kind of a big deal if you would go and get a massage, but would she be okay if a stranger would touch her or would that trigger her only more? She wasn't even sure about anything at this point, it felt horrible. She wanted to cry but she should not, no it was the festival and she would soon go and watch it and enjoy it for the sake of her girls.
WC: 522
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 16, 2020 16:30:12 GMT -4
York, England. They were finally at their destination. The flight was terrifying. Kai was sublime and brave, G just had to put a poker face and pretend he was fine, while he was everything but that. G was glad when they landed on the solid ground, he almost kissed the ground. Almost, but damn if he didnt want to. On the way to the hotel, while Hana had Kai, G handled the luggage.
Once they arrived to the hotel and their proper room, he made sure everything was properly placed. He heard Hana "Hush little darling don't you cry"
"Mama’s gonna sing you a lullaby." he thought to himself, he didnt say it, he wished he did, but he didnt. Hana sang under her breath, it was only meant for Kai to hear it. It was clear she was still ignoring him and giving him the deafening silent treatment, it was driving him insane. He didnt know what to do.
It scared him. He felt that Miku didnt like him, and Hana too...
He was scared, it felt like only Haruuhi liked him. How were they all suppsed to share a room if the atmosphere was this suffocating. He had to do something. He had to get a chance to talk to Hana, and he needed to get the bravery and do it. He went to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror and try to gain courage to do just that. Deep breaths.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 18, 2020 15:40:00 GMT -4
She sang on, underneath her breath, no one but her little man had to hear so he would go to sleep. Making him drowsy, making him sleepy before she put him in his little crib and before making sure he had his blanket, he was nicely wrapped into it, not too tight and that he had his toys and that his eyes slowly dropped and he would fall asleep. She gave him a smile but that smile disappeared already soon when she turned away from her son and shut the lights and closed the door. She had no idea what to do, it wasn't her purpose to handle Gil. She just did not know what she wanted, what she had to say and so on. Enough good advice was given to her and she really did want to follow that and open her mouth. She sighed as she stood in front of the window, York was beautiful but she couldn't really enjoy it. She cracked her neck, rolled her shoulders and felt how tense she was. How to relax, how to get a massage without freaking out? She did not want to freak out. But her body asked for forgiveness and her brain didn't give it. She only got more stress.
She curled up on the corner of the couch and leaned with her chin on her knee and sighed again, what would she do? Should she ask him? Just her shoulders with a t-shirt on? She would be fine then, right? But she felt a shiver going down her spine. Or not yet.
WC: 264
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 18, 2020 16:37:48 GMT -4
Once he got his grip, he left the bathroom and went to find Hana. She wasnt with Kai since the baby is asleep in his crib. G didnt get too close, he just cracked the door a bit open and took a peek to see Kai in his crib sleeping. He closed back the door, then he looked and found Hana. She stood infront of the window and watchin the town of York. G could feel how tense she was, and being with her long enough, he knew what she needed. But he wasnt gonna do that. Hana didnt want to talk to G, let alone get a massage from him. So he sighed and walked to to her, and stopped when he was right beside her. He looked through the window as well, he didnt even look at her
Would it be easier for them to talk if they dont look at eachother? It gives you the feeling you are like talking or venting to someone else, in a way it relaxes you and makes you open. He didnt know if he did the right thing, but whats done is done
"We need to talk." he said as he looked at York, "We cant avoid eachother forever"
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 16:01:35 GMT -4
She wanted to get rid of that feeling of being alone. But it would remain and she knew it. So many words had been spoken about it. With or without the other but nothing seemed to change. Did she have to cry all the time and wound herself about it? She felt her shoulders shaking but she wanted to be strong. She had to be strong, he could not see it. She had no idea of G was actually in the hotel suite but she did not want him to see her red eyes, though he might still notice she was still breaking and failing and falling. What did it matter? She jumped up a little when he stood suddenly next to her. She had not heard him and did not want to say anything and looked only away. She wasn't sure if they were going to talk now, was he going to be the adult? The mature and brave one. She wasn't sure what to say. She had no idea how she portray the whole issue, probably very bad. She wasn't sure about anything. She had it with herself, and she definitely hated herself, but maybe she should not forget she was only human and this human was hurt.
She bit her lip and looked away. He wasn't looking at her, so that meant she had to talk when he said they needed to talk. Yes, they definitely had to do. "I don't want to avoid you." She wasn't really planning to do so but it made it a lot easier to not talk to him if they were not in the same room. It was just a mechanism of protection, everything had gone fine until the fragile status had been broken by the last accident and she looked with difficulty at her own reflection against the grey clouds of York. She did not dare to forgive herself.
WC: 319
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 16:14:54 GMT -4
While he didnt look at her, he could feel that she wasnt looking at him, as if she turned away. He did the same and turned away from her. She said she doesnt want to avoid him
"And yet you still are" he had to talk, he had to be the one to start "This silence was... is... deafening." it was hard and it was difficult and it was painful, but they had to now break the ice "I let you be, because I understood that you needed some space and privacy to cope with... everything. But, its simply not working. It escalated into something terrible. We dont talk, we avoid eachother and now... we're not even looking at eachother" he looked down at his hand. He swallowed whatever fears and worries he had and then turned to face her "Hanako. Please. We have to be together in this. I dont want to let you deal with it alone, I want to help you. Somehow... anyhow. Just please dont shut me out" he pleaded her
He understood how she felt and he understood that he couldnt feel how she feels. But still, what use was he if he couldnt do anything. He wants to help his wife. He wants to save his family. What use was being a hero or a vigilante. What use was saving the world if he couldnt save his family and be a man his wife wants him to be and NEEDS him to be?!
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 16:26:59 GMT -4
She felt even more horrible because of looking away from him, but she finally turned her face to look outside, putting her hands in front of her, on her stomach, but it hurt too much, so she let go. She felt that she wanted to cry because he was right. She did avoid him. But there was no way not to do it, looking at him would only prove that she was hurting him and she did not want to see that. She did not want him to see her flinch if he touched her. She did not want to have him feel that way and yet she could not do something about it. She felt her lower lip tremble when he spoke about the silence and she was again about to nod. She held her breath when he said he understood. He did not blame her?
She looked up a little, looked at his reflection and her mouth was slightly agape, she did not get it? But it was her fault? Everything was her fault like it always had been. She noticed how he held the gaze of his hand and his reflection turned to her and she slowly looked at the side, his side, but she would not first look further than his elbow, shortly and slowly she moved her eyes up to meet his dark coloured eyes with her scared-looking blue ones. She quickly looked away. When he called her Hanako, she knew they had hit rock bottom. He never called her Hanako unless it was something horrible. She bet fiercely down on her lip because she felt like crying and didn't want to show how much she trembled. She did not know how to share it, she did let go of her own hand to try and find his. The most she could maybe stand right here and right now, but she could not say a word. She knew already she lost her voice.
WC: 328
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 16:40:32 GMT -4
And then there it was, the silence, the deafening silence. It was the silence that hurt his ears. It pained him. He sighed a bit since she did not speak. So he opted to do something else. He offered her his hand, so she can take it. G guessed that if he tocuhed her that she might jump and be startled. So instead he just offered his hand, so she can take it and hold it whenever she feels is ready for any physical contact
"Hana. I miss you." he said. She was silent, she was avoiding him. It was as if he was in England all alone. Miku didnt want anything to do with him and neither did Hana. He felt alone.... or as if he came only with Haruuhi who was a normal human being.
He wanted Hana, it was as if she wasnt here at all.
"Please" he pleaded her to do anything. Open her mouth, say a word, touch his hand or slap him and his hand away. Literally anything that would acknowledge his existence.
He didnt know what to do. He wanted her happiness, but now it feels as if she's like a ... a husk... a shadow of her former self. As if her wings are clipped. He.... he needed ti give back her wings so she can fly. He bit his lip as he thought what to do
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 16:47:12 GMT -4
She hesitated, hesitated to take his hand. She had seen him look at it, she had wanted to do so but she hesitated. Holding her hand by her own side and just not do it. But she still could not, she looked at his hand from the corner of her eyes before she heard his words and the view became blurry and she felt her shoulders shaking, her lip trembling and her eyes becoming foggy because she was crying and she turned to him to bury herself in his arms and hide her face from his view by pushing it against his chest. She felt her brain screaming at her. They could not touch, they should do anything but touch! It would be horrible, the consequences, the pain but she cried already, let that pain wash over her. She still could not say words, she only cried and cried but she nuzzled closer in his arms, holding him by having her arms around him and holding on to his shirt with her hands, between his shoulder blades. She wanted to say sorry, she wanted to say so much but she could not say anything but cry.
It was all her fault, always her fault. She was a horrible human being, everyone had been right, why was she even doing this. Why was she married, he deserved so much better, Kai deserved a better mother. It made so much sense and yet she did not want to give them that opportunity, that possibility, she loved them too much to let go. She did not know what to say, she did not know how to pronounce the words that she was sorry, to apologize or do anything about it. She wanted to say something but only tears kept on coming and the whiny sounds of her cries. She broke down entirely now. Too strong for too long, if only Hanako herself did see it like that.
WC: 324
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 16:59:09 GMT -4
And then it happened, it finally happened. She went in his arms, embraced him and cried. Just cried. He then immediately and gently wrapped his hands around her and let her cry
"Shh.... shhh. Its okay" he quietly said in a whisper tone so she could hear.
He continued to comfort her and be her shoulder to cry on. Its ok. This was ok. They were finally getting somewhere. He let her cry for as long as she wants and needs
"Its okay. Its okay. Cry it all out. Let it go." he spoke gently to her as she cried and washed his shoulder with her tears. He held her in his arms and let her vent completely. Even if it was lasting days and nights, he'd be here with her. He was here for her.
"Dont blame yourself, ok?" he spoke quietly as she cried and then kissed her head and just held her. He didnt care how long this lasts. This was him now.
This was them now.
In eachothers arms. Not avoiding one another anymore.
He understood how she felt. They all dealt with it in their own way, but now they needed to be united as husband and wife and support eachother. Today, he made the first step for once. He needed to. He was a man.
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 17:06:20 GMT -4
She cried until there were no tears left and shy but also scared she looked up, just her eyes, looking at his profile. She noticed he had a bit of a stubble on his jaw and chin. She had not noticed he skipped shaving and she wasn't sure what she thought of it. She still felt the shiver going down her spine and her brain yelling at her that she should take a step back but her body, so small fitted perfectly in his arms. She did not want him to let her go. She loved how he forgave her, how he let her and how he said it was okay. She felt that she now had hurt eyes because of all the salty tears and her voice hoarse because of the whining sound that she made. The small screams that she made because of her pain. He had taken her breath away when he said she should not blame herself, but who else was to blame? How did he know her so well.
"Forgive me." She mumbled now that she stood so close and she looked at his chest, the obvious spots she made with her tears and she believed even snot. God she so was not pretty to look at now, she was sure of it and she did not want him to see her like this. But she had lost so much and it was all only her doing. It was her paper that had thrown her off the stairs, that had shot her boss, thank god he survived. She wasn't sure how she would survive else and now she lost everything still. She was still not sure how she would survive this but at the moment she did not want to step away from him. She tensed up a little again but did not cry again. "I missed-I missed you too."
WC: 315
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 17:17:45 GMT -4
She cried until she can cry no more. After a bit she finally spoke up "Forgive me". He held her in his arms, because he missed her, he wanted to hold her and never let go. But when she asked for forgiveness he needed to speak up as well "You dont need to ask for forgiveness. You didnt do anything wrong"
And so he held her because he missed her and he loved her. He loved her so so much
Hana then tensed up a bit and said something else. She missed him too. And with that, he didnt speak, because no word can describe how he feels. Instead he just looked at her lovingly and smiled. He was so happy. And Hana could see that now he was the one that was teary eyed. He missed her so much and now she was finally back.
Sure they were not at their 100% but this was a start. They were together again. They didnt avoid eachother and they finally spoke up to one another. And he was so happy that he finally had Hana back again in his life. Now, he just needed to make sure she gets better, she gets stronger. He needs to give back her wings
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 20, 2020 17:24:40 GMT -4
He pulled her a little closer, smothered her almost with the love she could feel, jumping basically from his skin on hers, through her bones, seeping into her blood and warming her up a little. But she shivered again. It was deafening how the panic yelled at her, but she tried to block it out by repeating that it was not true, it would be fine. It would all be fine, they were not going to do anything she did not want to but she craved his touch so much and this was enough. Nothing more was needed, but maybe, just maybe, no. No, she wasn't ready. "It doesn't feel that way." She had been careless, reluctant and not paying attention to anything and that had been her grave mistake for the second time in just half a year. What more would happen and what would be the consequences of that?
She looked up again as the smothering calmed down a little and she managed to say she missed him too. Again, but now for a longer moment, her eyes met his. Brown and blue, the exact opposite if you looked at the eye colours and she wasn't sure what to say about it, she held her breath as she noticed the tears in the corner of his eyes and she let go of his shirt to hold his head in her hands and wipe as softly and carefully as she could his tears away. See, even if she now got the tears from a sort of happiness, from a certain touch, it was because she had been distant before. "I am sorry." What else could she say, she did not agree with it not being her fault, that she had done nothing wrong. She had done this wrong from the very start but sometimes she did not see where the wrong step was and where she was okay, except for that one accident. Their fight, their break, their everything.
WC: 330.
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2,602 Posts
1 EP
EXP
Total
27 Years
Male
"G"
Watchdog-Rank Quirk:
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Post by G Hajimari on Feb 23, 2020 13:07:21 GMT -4
G told and reassured Hana she didnt do anything wrong. With was true. She truly did no wrong, but Hana feels... not like that. She said it doesnt feel like she didnt do anything wrong. In other words, she feels a bit guilty about everything. He understands her... he understands her completely and that is why he cant fault her for anything. They were only human after all.
Hana said she missed him too, and something about that touched him and caused him to tear up. It was a mix of happy and not happy tears. He was feeling very emotional. Hana saw his tears and thus let go of his shirt to hold his head and wipe his tears away, she was so soft and careful it touched him. He hugged her and cried as she apologized
"Baby.... There's nothing to be sorry about. I-I just need to be better. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything. I clipped your wings and took your freedom because I was too overlyprotective." he stopped himself so he could calm down. He wiped away the tears so he could look at her clearly. He didnt wanna make her shoulder wet. Besides he needed to talk
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I-I promised I'd be a good husband. Its time I act on it and correct my wrongs before we got married. I wanna give back your freedom. I-I shouldnt be too controlling. I love you and wanna protect you, but if my protection is suffocating you, thats no good. I wanna be good and improve." he then holds her hands "I want to be a better husband. I'm sorry... I-I'm learning"
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Post by Hanako Hajimari on Feb 23, 2020 13:49:56 GMT -4
She was so careful. She had already enough mistakes that Hanako would not and could not according to herself, afford to make another mistake. She was tired, she was nauseous thanks to the whole affair and she did not know what to think or do with it. What should she say, what should she consider? Nothing right? This was all she could do and that's why she held his face careful in her hands and wiped away his tears. Softly she carried his face in the cups of her hands and softly with the touch of her thumb she wiped. She made a soft oof sound as he suddenly pulled her closer in a hug, and she hoped she did not accidentally scratch him because of the sudden movement. But it seemed to be going fine and she listened again as her face was buried in the crook of his neck by the way he held her.
There was a form of fear, devastation on her face. He just apologized to her as if it was his fault, his fault for everything as that was what he apologized for. Did he clip her wings? She felt her body freeze, did she have to explain it? She did not want to talk about it, but maybe in all that time had he misunderstood her silence for his fault instead of blaming herself for everything she had done. She heard him take rapid breaths and she felt her own breathing came to a halt. She did not want him to feel this way. She wiggled herself out of his arms again and took a step away. The insecurity, the unknown was seen on her face but she shook her head. Her long black hair framing her face made it only more obvious how pale she looked. How wrong, how sick. She was, in her mind that is, but she was sick. "It's not you." She said in a hushed voice. "I did not break off my interview with Thundershock because of you." She put her hand to her own chest, "It's me. I could have lost our son, and do you know why?" It was probably karma speaking why she would never get a second. "I wrote an article and they came to find me." There it was. Finally, she said it, they never found her because all they had was an alias. But she was sure that if they asked metropolitan now, fingers would point at her, why else did she quit? She wasn't sure if too many colleagues would understand her fear that day and that she would never want to walk the stairs in that building again.
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