That's what Friends are for [Nimue's Saga | 1]

She raised her eyebrow not really understanding what he meant, art around, surely she got that because he asked he would try do make her do something, that she would be distracted or anything. She opened her mouth to say something, she could not accept that thank you gift, she had not done anything exceptional, she had just done what was right, help when she could. "You don't have to get me anything, I am already grateful I can stay here to ehm be away from the city for a while, I did just what I could, you don't have to thank me for that. That's what friends are for right?" If he would continue on to usher her that it was nothing and that he would get her something, she would simply say that a few white papers and a gray pencil was good enough, they surely would have something around the house. She could not imagine how stupid she was with coming here, the fact that she considered kissing him minutes ago and so on. 

"Seriously, staying here is enough." She sighed, she might not stay here, "I mean I can do anything, if you need me to?" She wasn't so sure what that would be, maybe help cooking, cleaning something, something to keep her mind busy, she wasn't sure if painting or drawing would help with that. Maybe she should talk about it, but maybe that would be more with Mosa, who she had not seen in a while, yes at school but that obviously wasn't the same. She took another deep breath, she felt so lost and looked around the nice decorated room, her house could use that, she had not all the furniture, she had not painted and redone the kitchen, she was simply nowhere, never at home, always around and now she even ran away from the home that she wanted to create for herself, oh, she had not told Kuro. She pouted, how stupid, she was simply stupid. 

She nodded but she was still not really convinced, from that villain, yea that villain was bringing her more problems and she had a really bad feeling about that in general. She nodded, yes, fun stuff but she wasn't even sure if she had anything in mind to draw when so many bad things were going on in her mind and she wasn't sure when she could stop, when she could take a break, there was no such a thing for her unless she shipped herself off to South Africa and she wasn't so sure if that was the thing she wanted, why was she so weak and such a coward. On the one hand she had to tell herself she wasn't weak and a coward else she would never had been able to finish this arrest and get through with it but maybe, if it wasn't too late it was time to consider a career switch, was that still possible? She nodded though once again because yes, something nice was good. So she told him what she needed. 

She sat on the bed now because she thought G would go but she could not let him before offering to do something, she might not be good in a lot of things but she was at best rather average which wasn't that bad either and she would tilt her head a little when he said an unless and she frowned a little more when he continued and she shook her head, it was nice to see someone worry about his children's grades. "Their grades can't be much better. Miku might not like the other classes that do not involve nature much but she manages to get decent grades with that and make her mark a lot higher by the other natural elements on tests and Haruuhi is simply brilliant when it comes to answering the questions, she must be studying hard because in class I sometimes have the feeling she doesn't really get it or isn't interested." Was what she could answer. 

Nimue raised her eyebrow, it was not that she did not believe G to be worried when it came to his girls, "I am sure that if they were not doing well that you would have known. In a few days the midterms start, they will be fine." That was what she could say, make it positive be distracted, but yea teenagers, she saw both of them as serious students though and it was good that they could be around for that. She looked around the room and she wasn't sure what to do, when G asked her how she was doing she took the guest pillow from the head of the bed and pulled it against her stomach. "I actually don't know, I thought I was doing fine and then, I mean I know that it's not my fault for the murders after that but indirect it is my fault. I should have been there to save them, to stop Crowley." She took a deep breath, she had not forgotten his second question but she needed to shape up before she could answer the next question. 

"I bumped into her right after I found a dead body and called the police to figure it out, I believe I found a trail and just went to follow that." Another deep breath was necessary, "I recognized her from the top villain list that the government had given out a month before, if not more and demanded her to stop, lucky for me in a way we were both spear fighters, that's what happened first." It was not so hard to rethink what happened, how it happened, anything really, it was still in her mind, so fresh, so direct, she wasn't sure how to forget it, it was in front of her all the time, together with the message of Crowley. 

Maybe talking about it helped, it surely made it better than being locked up about it in her own apartment, why did she come here was her own question. She did not get it, was it because she had this weird crush on a man that was engaged? She seriously hoped it wasn't really a crush and her feelings were just doing weird and so on because she knew very well that G was getting married or already married, she did not know and she did not want to take that away from him nor Hanako, she really liked how they matched and looked after each other. so what the hell was going on. It was just loneliness, yes, that was all, she would eventually find other people to hang out with, and she would be okay... yes, yea that would all be fine. 

"Yea, I was surprised, maybe I should be more open minded, spear fighting is traditional for the boys in my tribe and the girls that want to be warriors as well as those that get other functions." As she was in line for an important task within the tribe, her mother had taught her and look at her now, it had seriously helped, maybe she should call her mother, she could use some rational nagging in her ear. "I know I should not worry, but yoh it's not that easy. I am afraid what more he would do. Ag, I even convinced myself that if I did not arrest Lavande, she would do it herself and eight other people would be lost, it is not that more lives are lost in the general scale but I don't allow myself to think that way because now it sounds like lives are just a matter of pieces on a chest board but they are not. These are people and their families mourn them now and I can't do anything but hide and cry myself." She did nod and she did know, it wasn't her fault but indirectly it was. For these 8 people it was because of what she did and like she said, they were not just pawns, they were people. "You are made to fight, but I was made to heal, made to protect those who got hurt, I did the exact opposite." Which was what faced her, she wasn't made for fighting and that proved it, because when she did, matters turned worse. 

She wasn't entirely sure if she agreed that the rules of South Africa didn't count here, surely the people were different but you needed to learn of your enemy and they had smugglers and human traffickers there as well, but also lions and rhinos and those were dangerous too and you needed to know how to avoid them, truly they were in safari parks and not exactly in the wild anymore around her but yes, they were not that different maybe. You needed to learn if you needed to run as fast as you could or if you had to fight and put your best foot forwards and taking the first step or the second but she let G say whatever, not because she just did not want to respond, he was her teacher, he was her friend. "Well you helped indirectly, aibo, you were the one that taught me how to move and how to fight." Yes, he did, she could not take it all herself, she would not sit here or stand here or do whatever here in Japan if she had not bumped into the people but she was... afraid. 

"I think Mia does enough." Oops... name, "I mean RedHorn." She bit her lip, surely G wouldn't make use of the name but she seriously need to learn what she could and couldn't say. She wasn't sure, "I mean even those small thugs need to be arrested. I can't just take a break G. My job is being a school nurse and a biology teacher, but there are also internships." So she could not just suddenly say she needed a break or a sabbatical, they were counting on her. "I might avoid patrolling for a while if I can." But she could not disappoint the students. 

But she had to have people understand, and that did unfortunately include herself that she wasn't made for this. She was a healer, not a fighter. "I got the suggestion to apply for a license as they had no pro-heroes focus on medicine. I could be there as support, heal the other heroes in a fight so they could go on or they would be saved from death, same as civilians, I shouldn't fight." Because than she would be late, time was of essence in this issue. If only she could split herself into two people, that issue might be saved. But there was no way to convince G as he continued to tell her why she was well versed. She looked at her hands as well, she wanted to say something, interrupt him that he wasn't a monster but she looked up at him through her eyelashes and looked away again, he wasn't useless. "I approached you because, because I wanted to learn to defend others who can't defend themselves. But G." She extended her hand to hold on to his, without thinking at this point too much about it. "You are not a monster, you inspire people, you are there to protect your family and you have one that loves you very much, I would not ever call someone like you a monster, especially not with people out there that really couldn't care less about humanity and just kill whomever they bump into." 

She did not get him, the oh dear was like a sigh of someone to a child that still did not understand, but than he said something that felt like an argument to her of why he wasn't a monster. "That's exactly what proves it, you are the number one vigilante, not the number one villain, not the number one criminal. You are the one that patrols, protects citizen and fight crime while you are not allowed to, while you are illegal but you still do it, risking your life, your status, your family for everyone else because you are not a monster because monsters are scary, self absorbed and out for destruction and you clearly are not." She stared at the man in front of her, because she did not get it, why would being a vigilante make him a monster. "I know I tried to convince you to become a pro-hero, to look for a license, but if you don't want it, I am not going to stop you. The license system might be weird, you have a direct link and command of the government so I can imagine you appreciate your freedom." She would not change it but maybe if she could go back in time and talk to herself she would not ask why just becoming a doctor would not be well enough for her? 

It would be safer, it would have maybe been better but there was a nagging voice and it wasn't one of the spirits but it asked her and than what? Wouldn't she maybe already be dead by the attack on the hospital? She was doing what she could and more was impossible but that did not mean that what she did was bad. She just didn't know how to continue, how to face Crowley and go on. She wasn't made for that. She wanted to be a simple healer. 

Nimue frowned, she wasn't sure about that, because and that's why, her thoughts couldn't really form a sentence, but she found that she had to say something especially because he seemed like a bit down when it came to this topic and she wanted to say something, "If you are destructive, self-absorbed and so on or even scary, I don't think you would have a child or children, I don't think I would come to you for help, don't you think? You might have been this way but than you did change, in a good sense of the word." And they spoke about hero stuff and she nodded, she could understand why people did not wanted to be hold down by the government and so on, it wasn't something to take light but neither was vigilantism. But it was not for her to decide and she listened to him, his dream about becoming a hero.

"I am not saying that that is a bad idea G, but it's you who should decide, and if that's a pro-con list than it's a pro-con list. If you want to settle down, be that hardworking man that's always there for his family, then so be it. I have no one but my father and I will do everything to protect him, I would resign my job if that means I keep him safe." She was sure at this point that it would not keep her safe or if she would get some special sort of status for self-defence when it came to Crowley and villains, but she would do everything. Else she would be all alone in this harsh and fighting world and that was definitely that she wanted to avoid.

She shook her head as she watched him sit down, "Don't worry, I mean it is nice to know that I am not the only one with internal issues, so to speak." She smiled a little, yes she was afraid but this, this felt a little more normal.