Mi casa or tu casa [Hanako & G]

She stood still next to the couch staring out of her big windows. She should come up with a decision and lately making decisions was one of the worst things she did. Like deciding to keep a child even if she was still unconvinced to be a mom. She wasn't still sure if she had made the right decision and so many other decisions followed. She sighed softly and petted her still flat stomach, albeit she had the feeling that there was a minor, ity bity small bump there. But perhaps it had lead to staring at the mirror for about thirty minutes that she had seen any difference at all. If the papers had made the correct guess and it said it was a guess, she would be two months pregnant in a few days. Some people already got a bump, that was different from every person and considering how skinny she was, it made sense. But she was afraid of the change of her body. 


She turned when she heard the buzzing of her phone and quickly picked it up, she regretted the way she sent the message because she was sure she could had said it differently, more reassuring and not saying: we have to talk. How bad could she make that. She heard a second buzz before she could even read the first message, the first reading was asking if she was okay, well yes, in general, she was okay. The second message was him already coming over! 

Eh, she had not put the book away and she did not want to make him too excited and, did she look okay? What was she wearing when she stayed in her home the whole day... nothing nice, it was just a sloppy dress and high knee socks because it was so comfortable, her hair was a mess. She did not text back because that was no use and her panic state about her looks were still going on when she heard the elevator already. She widened her gaze, looking further than just her phone, which she abruptly dropped on the table to take the book: 

Nervous first-time mommies


and turning around to quickly hid that under her pillow or so, if only she would make it that way. Right before the door opened, she took the step too quickly and instead of turning and taking  a step back from the table she turned, walked immediately, bumped her foot against the leg of the table and stumbled forward, letting go of the now closed book, which skittered over the floor towards the elevator and she herself on hands and legs on the floor. Wonderful plan Hanako. Doing something in a hurry never worked. She surely hoped that he had not heard her small squeaky yell when she fell. 

Thank god she wasn't wearing glasses anymore because those would have fallen on the ground and who knew how far that would get, surely she wore them still at night because it was more comfortable or when she was lazy to fix her contacts, but not now. She accepted the help G gave her, oh no, did he see the book. She did not want him to see the book at this point, she did not know what to say about it. "It will be fine." Her shin was throbbing as she probably would get an ugly bruise on it, but that was normal for the clumsy Hanako. She should not hurry when she was a clumsy being. She leaned against the table to make sure that she did not hurt herself more than the throbbing shin and the red spot that would turn blue, not much later. She felt no pain, her leg was fine, her ankle must be fine too. 

"I am sorry." She said because well what would it look like to come in. "I didn't mean to worry you with the text I send you." She took the book and quickly pushed it against her chest but he must have seen the title. She turned red like a tomato and tried to avoid his eyes, what did he think, was he surprised? She did not want to know but actually, she wanted to know. "I-I mean more about things we have to discuss, time goes so fast and before you know it, it would be an eight-month pregnancy already." 

She wasn't sure if this was G, he had always been nice to her but now that the red disappeared of her cheeks, as she managed to get a neutral expression on her face, she liked to look at his face, he was normally already very sweet but she had the idea it was already extra than normal. "I want a kiss." She said with a smile on her face, she resisted to giggle, nothing glass of water, she wanted him. She finally let go of the book and dropped it back on the table, if she could tell herself she would fall and G would see the book anyway, she would not have hurried to put it away and not walk against a table leg. 

She still held on to the book while he hugged her but she was very happy that he was here and she felt fuzzy and happy, which was a good feeling, especially if you felt shitty for the rest of the day. Next, to that, it was just her boyfriend. "Hmm." Was the only sound she could make when he did kiss her. Which was wonderful and she hoped that it would be nicer than her thoughts before. She moved the book without breaking eye contact because she wanted to stay like this. "Can I just have you forever?" Hanako said with a laugh because that was what she wanted but at this point, it was not like that. 

She had a healthy blush on her cheeks because she was happy that he was here. She bit her lip softly as she stared at him with a smile, "I meant to send the text about ehm well issues, not bad issues." She wanted to lift up her hand to push some wave out, body language but instead, she pressed her hand softly against his chest because the space between them was really small, the table was pushing against her hips. "I more meant taking a step ahead." She felt her hand against his chest and looked at it shortly, "I mean, ehm, now I am no longer panicking, can we talk about you know, ehm, moving in?" Why did it feel like such a bad thing to say? Probably because she could not get yet to the idea of selling her penthouse. So long she had enjoyed it and yet it looked like she moved in last month. Maybe less clean.  

It felt so strange to say these things as he did not answer anything, albeit he did not look entirely unhappy. She had no idea what went on in his head, which was a good thing, but she was worried now that she said something wrong. She turned bright red on her cheeks when he repeated the word moving in and him asking the quite obvious, why else would she-... A wonderful idea, her brain could not grasp that before he already kissed her and the bright red colour on her pale cheeks only intensified. At least, that went better than she had anticipated. 

She bit her lip with the options he gave her, she did not know the other house, she had heard about it. But was that a logical option, she would have to travel further to her work but Musutafu was apparently not an option and that's what she had thought about. "You don't like this place." She said because she knew that and mostly because if he called that small, this penthouse might be bigger but did not have many more bedrooms. "Besides the penthouse only has three bedrooms too." Which she now used as a guestroom, a walk-in closet and her own bedroom. "But is it really too small? I mean Haruuhi lives there too, how would you want to do that?" She wasn't against a house at the outskirts of Tokyo but she was against G splitting himself between two houses again and leaving either her or Haruuhi behind. She did not want to take a spot and let someone be well left over as Nanami had done to her. "Can't we try, the apartment? It is closer to Yuuei, maybe we can I don't know," She had not seen the rooms of Miku and Haruuhi and did not know how close the girls actually were, she had only seen them together at Christmas. "Miku stays at Yuuei right, maybe we can change her room into a baby room after the summer and maybe Haruuhi is okay with an extra bed in her room if Miku comes over or we have the baby cradle and the like in your bedroom." She was maybe holding on to something too much. 

She nodded, yes his apartment also had three rooms and she had only seen the master bedroom and it was big enough for a master bedroom, just her rooms were bigger, the perfectness from a penthouse but even if they would rebuild it and make it four rooms, it would be too small for that, she was sure of that it was perfect for a couple without kids or with one kid but not three. "The size of the rooms might be different but it doesn't change the problem of rooms." It was a temporary suggestion to try the apartment at Yuuei, maybe in a year, they could think about moving too well just a normal house perhaps? With a garden, no apartment but it was what mattered now and if she wanted to live with him, she had to make do with what was already there. She might not be well aware of the other house at the edge of Tokyo City but well she wanted to keep a few things in her mind too. She frowned when he said they should let Haruuhi take Miku's room and then put an extra bed there but just as she did not know, neither did he.

She moved her hand from his chest to his neck and pulled him towards her to kiss him softly because it seemed like the talk about houses was definitely not a good talk. She wanted to make sure he was comfortable. "But if you created the finger paint drawings again, are you okay with moving?' Because would it not be odd to have like three houses, it would be best to just have one. She let go of him, even if they still stood very close together, she wasn't sure if she should just invite him to sit down or if he would rather remain here. "What are you thinking?" She whispered softly because he seemed to be thinking and not saying things to her and that made it difficult. "If you could all decide by yourself and everything would work out, where would you want to live." Her own guts said here to her own question, here in the penthouse but her heart knew better and would go wherever he wanted her to go and what would be best. 

As she seemed upset about the whole ordeal, she just wanted to make him relax about it, "We don't have to make a decision now, I can stay here too." She mused, snuggling closer (even if that was barely necessary) to just make sure that she was okay with whatever thing he wanted to pick. Maybe he was right, maybe she was making problems that did not exist because not everyone involved in the matter was asked right now. Maybe she should not make a discussion about one of the two houses because if she would move to musutafu it would be just a journey to her work as well as if she would live at the edges of Tokyo City. Maybe she could get a car, it might be best to test her driving again before she would do so but she would see. 

The thought of selling her house did not longer occur to her because his thoughts were more important, his sense of feeling lost was far more important than an impractical penthouse, it was an object without feelings, not a human being with. "Do you now say that because of me?" She asked because at many previous points he seemed to be against the apartment in Musutafu but now he seemed to be saying that if they could not manage to make a baby corner in his bedroom instead of the baby room, he had no other ideas. "I am sorry for making this so confusing." She felt bad about herself, how did she dare bring this up so randomly and so clumsy. "Maybe we should not make a decision without Haruuhi, even if she is a child, she deserves her opinion on where she wants to live. I do have to apologize for pushing but I did it for her, I am afraid that me wanting to live together with you, which results into two extra people at some point, forcing you to move out of an apartment that you might have come to love." She was sure he did considering the finger paintings, "As well as Haruuhi, I don't want to be the force to say it like that, that makes you move somewhere else. A house with a lot of space does sound amazing though but I can't say that if that influences a decision on other people." She looked away, feeling guilty that she had said it and had been honest but it was hopefully for good, that was her intention.