Post by Miku Hajimari on Apr 14, 2020 16:03:31 GMT -4
It was the UA Dorms and Miku woke up. This was when she just arrived back from the UK and the whole Exibition Festival. Thus it was the end of the school year. The first thing she did was get breakfast and then freshen up and dress up for the day. She wasnt sure if Haruuhi was asleep or out. But anyway just in case she was quiet during her stay at her room.
Miku decided that since it was the weekend and there was no class that she should just take a walk. Fresh air to get her head straight. She soon got herself ready and left her room. Miku walked through the halls of the dorms and didnt interract with anyone. She didnt know if she should. Does she want to be alone or does she want company. She is a bit lost, confused and conflicted. When she left the dorms and went outside, she stopped at the gate that seperated UA campus grounds and the outside. She was gonna have her moment. She was alone anyway, so why not go 'crazy'. If one remembers the music video to the bittersweet symphony, where the singer just walks down the pavement in a straight line without changing his stride or direction throughout while singing. That was something 'crazy' that Miku was gonna do. But instead of that song, she did another one. One that was on her mind ever since she talked to Hana.
Soon, she started and clicked the play button on her phone, so the music could play. There was no earphones, this was speaker, everyone and anyone could hear it. And as Miku took her first step, she decided to just relax and sing
"I've walked 100 miles down a broken road
And in my mind I carry such a heavy load
The voices in my head I think are not my own
But I will reap the seeds that my hands have sown."
She sung. And yes this song kind of resonated with her as she could feel herself and see herself in these lyrics. She walked down a broken road. She carries a heavy load in her mind. While her parents know she is Thunders daughter. No one knows what Thunder told her. Info that Hachi would most likely want. Info on Miku's biological grandmother. Info on Hachi's... mentor figure. And perhaps maybe a sort of closure by letting Hachi know who is her mentors son. The missing link between herself and her mentor. Yet she cant say, it is not a nice link. And then the voices in her head. Metaphorical ones, not literal ones. Her anger and hate and spite and vengence towards a certain someone. Was that her and her thoughts or was it someone else?
"My thoughts are dark and red
And I am stained inside
If I stop now, there'd be nowhere
For me to hide
From the sins I feel crawling on my back."
She continues to sing, and as the lyrics of the song go. She does have darker thoughts and more violent ones. She is stained inside as her happy go lucky optimism and hope seemingly evaporated. She is stained with negativity, hate, anger, distrust, cynicism. If she stopped, what'd she do? She just felt she did so much wrong just for seeing Thunder. It was like a mistake that caught up and punished her. Sure she got unpunished from that at christmas. But the damage was done. She hasnt forgiven G nor Hideki for doing what they did.
"You can't save a soul that you lack
It's too late now. I'm too far gone.
I've lost too many chances and now I feel myself
Changing..."
She walks and sings on, but she doesnt feel she can be saved. Whenever G changes, he changes for the better. Whenever she changes she changes for the worst. Helping her get on the right foot is futile. Its too late, she's far gone. That makes her sad as she sings. She lost too many changes and now she is changing once again
"I feel myself, changing
With every fight, I'm changing
It's easier, when your changing
Don't stop me now, I'm changing
With every save, I'm changing
Your every move keeps me changing
Why don't you move? I am changing
I'll strike you too I'm changing
I am changing."
This is the part of the song that echoed in her mind as she spoke to Hana back at the UK. But now she sings the song and even the part she cut off. She feels herself changing, with every fight she is changing. You cant stop her she is changing. With every save, and with you every move she is changing? So why dont you move? You want her to change? She will strike you down, she is changing. She is indeed, becoming more violent, she is changing. Who ever sees her as a little delicate friendly daisy is wrong. That is only her surface level
Soon Miku arrived at the shopping district as the more louder and actiony part of the song came. The sudden loudness caused a jumpscare to some people, and yes Miku did continue with her song and walk in a staight line this entire time
"I am changing
I am changing
I am changiiiing
NO MORE FRIENDS AND NO MORE FOES, NO MORE MONSTERS, NO ONE HERE TO OPOSSE ME, I CAN FINALLY BE FREE
FROM THE BURDEN OF DESPAIR, THE BURDEN TO CARE, FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I MET DOWN THERE,
IT'S DONE."
While the louder and more actiony song didnt really relate to her, there was one part that she felt it did. Nevertheless she sang the entire song even the parts that dont fit her. But this one she felt it did relate to her and she sung with passion. Out here, she was free. Free to let it all out, even if its through a song and even though no one would get it. To the people around her now, she was just the crazy kid who was too into her little song. A kid who was singing, jumping around, spinning around and dancing as she progressed forward
But soon, with her singing she arrived at the suburbs, just in time for the ending and the more quieter part of the song. Thus she walked now in a slower pace and relaxed her actions.
"He was alone, and now so am I.
Left with the memory of a boy afraid to die.
What have I done? Where is my home?
Were these deeds I've done, truly my own?
I was so blind... but now I clearly see.
I only have one choice in front of me...
Erase the guilt, erase the blame, erase what
We've built, and erase this game.
Erase the past, and erase my name
You were looking for a friend... but nobody came.
But nobody caaame"
As she finished the song, she kind of neglected her to see she was walking into someone, which caused her to fall down on her bum. She looked up and rubbed her eye
"O-oh, Im sorry. I apologize. I didnt see you" Miku apologized to the man
"Ah, its alright" he said and offered he hand to help her up "Somebody came~"
She blushed when she got back into reality and realized she did sing infront of many people, which means people heard her.
"But it seems, you have something on your mind. Something heavy, the look on your face is obvious. Come come" he said and gestured Miku to the bench. Miku followed him to a nearby bench and the two sat down.
"So what troubles you, child?"
"Ehm.. I dont know if I should talk. Its nothing"
"Nonsense! Its best to vent to a total and complete stranger. Im unbiased and unimportant and most likely will forget you and your troubles by evening. So its best to vent to me right now. Tell me alll the dirt that bugs you and who knows maybe I'll offer you a solution or maybe I'll just take a heavy load off your chest" the man says with a shrug
They were strangers to one another. They didnt ask eachothers names. All that mattered was venting. Miku hesitated about it. She cant say THAT, but the man seemed nonchalant, interested and at the same time disinterested. Judging by his accent he was a tourist or a foreigner. Miku wondered should she? Dare she? Maybe she could?
"I dont know how to even start"
"Speak from your heart"
"Im just... torn... I cant trust anyone. My friend or love interest snitched on me. He says he had the best intentions but I got in trouble. I.. its not just that. The people closest to me lied to me. I suck, Im weak and lagging behind my class. Im like the supposed daughter of the number 1 villain and yet I want to be a hero. But for being his daughter, im weak as hell. I also hate him. And I hate my adoptive dad. He ruined me and turned me into a mess. An insecure, dependent, weak, meek mess. My mom deserves a better man then him. I hate both of my so called dads. I wish they were ugh!!! Gone or anything! They drive me insane!" Miku justs vents without thinking. Just what pops in her mind she says, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear. Hell, he says he's just a stranger that'll forget everything by the end of the day. And hell she believes him. She's a nobody to him, and he's just a weird guy to her that will listen
The man meanwhile said something unexpected
"I may offer you a solution actually. Come with me" he took her by hand and pulled her away to follow him. Miku taken aback by this sudden action just follows him. But stops when she sees him arriving to a limo
"Ummmm, I dont go with strangers"
"Oh dont worry. We dont drive. I just want to show you your solution, away from peoples prying eyes" he soon enters the limo and leaves her room so she can sit beside him
"Come come. I promise nothing bad will happen"
Miku who didnt know what to do, she was put in a tight spot. Ultimately, she goes against her better will and judgement and goes in the limo. When the doors close, she sees how roomy it is.
The man meanwhile took something and held it towards her. This item was wrapped in silk. She had no idea what it is
"Wh-what is it?" she asked
"Unwrap it and find out~"
Seeing he wont tell, she reveals it, and realizes... its a gun.
"...."
"Your solution. Shoot someone with it. Get rid of your problem. Kill Thundershock and free Tokyo and yourself from crime and a web of crime and pain. Kill your adoptive father and your mother gets to find herself a better man, a better step father for you. Just kill one of them and you will be free from your problems. Either way, you get rid of someone you hate. Why have 2 dads when you can have one. Or better yet, maybe you want none~" he shoves the weapon in her lap, while being careful not to touch it. He tells her how to get rid of the safety and shoot, but Miku was too taken aback by it. She urges him to take the firearm back, but he was having none of it
"Oh dear. You dont have to do it. Consider it an option" he soon reaches for something else and hands her. Miku thinks its bullets, but its actually candy "Its fruit flavoured. Strawberry or citrine. But more importantly. Relax. Take it. You might need it"
"But"
"No buts. I insist. Protect yourself without your quirk."
"But-"
"Now now. It was nice hearing you, but it is time for us to go seperate ways" he says and shoos her away. Miku soon puts the item in her backpack and hastily leaves the limo.
The man smiles at her as she closes the door. For a moment she thought she heard him say Goodbye Miku. But... she didnt tell him her name. Did she imagine it? Before she could ask, she sees the vehicle already drove off. Was it a dream. She feels around in her backpack. The metal item was there, she could feel it.
She has a weapon.
She has a weapon
a weapon.
Soon, she started and clicked the play button on her phone, so the music could play. There was no earphones, this was speaker, everyone and anyone could hear it. And as Miku took her first step, she decided to just relax and sing
"I've walked 100 miles down a broken road
And in my mind I carry such a heavy load
The voices in my head I think are not my own
But I will reap the seeds that my hands have sown."
She sung. And yes this song kind of resonated with her as she could feel herself and see herself in these lyrics. She walked down a broken road. She carries a heavy load in her mind. While her parents know she is Thunders daughter. No one knows what Thunder told her. Info that Hachi would most likely want. Info on Miku's biological grandmother. Info on Hachi's... mentor figure. And perhaps maybe a sort of closure by letting Hachi know who is her mentors son. The missing link between herself and her mentor. Yet she cant say, it is not a nice link. And then the voices in her head. Metaphorical ones, not literal ones. Her anger and hate and spite and vengence towards a certain someone. Was that her and her thoughts or was it someone else?
"My thoughts are dark and red
And I am stained inside
If I stop now, there'd be nowhere
For me to hide
From the sins I feel crawling on my back."
She continues to sing, and as the lyrics of the song go. She does have darker thoughts and more violent ones. She is stained inside as her happy go lucky optimism and hope seemingly evaporated. She is stained with negativity, hate, anger, distrust, cynicism. If she stopped, what'd she do? She just felt she did so much wrong just for seeing Thunder. It was like a mistake that caught up and punished her. Sure she got unpunished from that at christmas. But the damage was done. She hasnt forgiven G nor Hideki for doing what they did.
"You can't save a soul that you lack
It's too late now. I'm too far gone.
I've lost too many chances and now I feel myself
Changing..."
She walks and sings on, but she doesnt feel she can be saved. Whenever G changes, he changes for the better. Whenever she changes she changes for the worst. Helping her get on the right foot is futile. Its too late, she's far gone. That makes her sad as she sings. She lost too many changes and now she is changing once again
"I feel myself, changing
With every fight, I'm changing
It's easier, when your changing
Don't stop me now, I'm changing
With every save, I'm changing
Your every move keeps me changing
Why don't you move? I am changing
I'll strike you too I'm changing
I am changing."
This is the part of the song that echoed in her mind as she spoke to Hana back at the UK. But now she sings the song and even the part she cut off. She feels herself changing, with every fight she is changing. You cant stop her she is changing. With every save, and with you every move she is changing? So why dont you move? You want her to change? She will strike you down, she is changing. She is indeed, becoming more violent, she is changing. Who ever sees her as a little delicate friendly daisy is wrong. That is only her surface level
Soon Miku arrived at the shopping district as the more louder and actiony part of the song came. The sudden loudness caused a jumpscare to some people, and yes Miku did continue with her song and walk in a staight line this entire time
"I am changing
I am changing
I am changiiiing
NO MORE FRIENDS AND NO MORE FOES, NO MORE MONSTERS, NO ONE HERE TO OPOSSE ME, I CAN FINALLY BE FREE
FROM THE BURDEN OF DESPAIR, THE BURDEN TO CARE, FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I MET DOWN THERE,
IT'S DONE."
While the louder and more actiony song didnt really relate to her, there was one part that she felt it did. Nevertheless she sang the entire song even the parts that dont fit her. But this one she felt it did relate to her and she sung with passion. Out here, she was free. Free to let it all out, even if its through a song and even though no one would get it. To the people around her now, she was just the crazy kid who was too into her little song. A kid who was singing, jumping around, spinning around and dancing as she progressed forward
But soon, with her singing she arrived at the suburbs, just in time for the ending and the more quieter part of the song. Thus she walked now in a slower pace and relaxed her actions.
"He was alone, and now so am I.
Left with the memory of a boy afraid to die.
What have I done? Where is my home?
Were these deeds I've done, truly my own?
I was so blind... but now I clearly see.
I only have one choice in front of me...
Erase the guilt, erase the blame, erase what
We've built, and erase this game.
Erase the past, and erase my name
You were looking for a friend... but nobody came.
But nobody caaame"
As she finished the song, she kind of neglected her to see she was walking into someone, which caused her to fall down on her bum. She looked up and rubbed her eye
"O-oh, Im sorry. I apologize. I didnt see you" Miku apologized to the man
"Ah, its alright" he said and offered he hand to help her up "Somebody came~"
She blushed when she got back into reality and realized she did sing infront of many people, which means people heard her.
"But it seems, you have something on your mind. Something heavy, the look on your face is obvious. Come come" he said and gestured Miku to the bench. Miku followed him to a nearby bench and the two sat down.
"So what troubles you, child?"
"Ehm.. I dont know if I should talk. Its nothing"
"Nonsense! Its best to vent to a total and complete stranger. Im unbiased and unimportant and most likely will forget you and your troubles by evening. So its best to vent to me right now. Tell me alll the dirt that bugs you and who knows maybe I'll offer you a solution or maybe I'll just take a heavy load off your chest" the man says with a shrug
They were strangers to one another. They didnt ask eachothers names. All that mattered was venting. Miku hesitated about it. She cant say THAT, but the man seemed nonchalant, interested and at the same time disinterested. Judging by his accent he was a tourist or a foreigner. Miku wondered should she? Dare she? Maybe she could?
"I dont know how to even start"
"Speak from your heart"
"Im just... torn... I cant trust anyone. My friend or love interest snitched on me. He says he had the best intentions but I got in trouble. I.. its not just that. The people closest to me lied to me. I suck, Im weak and lagging behind my class. Im like the supposed daughter of the number 1 villain and yet I want to be a hero. But for being his daughter, im weak as hell. I also hate him. And I hate my adoptive dad. He ruined me and turned me into a mess. An insecure, dependent, weak, meek mess. My mom deserves a better man then him. I hate both of my so called dads. I wish they were ugh!!! Gone or anything! They drive me insane!" Miku justs vents without thinking. Just what pops in her mind she says, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear. Hell, he says he's just a stranger that'll forget everything by the end of the day. And hell she believes him. She's a nobody to him, and he's just a weird guy to her that will listen
The man meanwhile said something unexpected
"I may offer you a solution actually. Come with me" he took her by hand and pulled her away to follow him. Miku taken aback by this sudden action just follows him. But stops when she sees him arriving to a limo
"Ummmm, I dont go with strangers"
"Oh dont worry. We dont drive. I just want to show you your solution, away from peoples prying eyes" he soon enters the limo and leaves her room so she can sit beside him
"Come come. I promise nothing bad will happen"
Miku who didnt know what to do, she was put in a tight spot. Ultimately, she goes against her better will and judgement and goes in the limo. When the doors close, she sees how roomy it is.
The man meanwhile took something and held it towards her. This item was wrapped in silk. She had no idea what it is
"Wh-what is it?" she asked
"Unwrap it and find out~"
Seeing he wont tell, she reveals it, and realizes... its a gun.
"...."
"Your solution. Shoot someone with it. Get rid of your problem. Kill Thundershock and free Tokyo and yourself from crime and a web of crime and pain. Kill your adoptive father and your mother gets to find herself a better man, a better step father for you. Just kill one of them and you will be free from your problems. Either way, you get rid of someone you hate. Why have 2 dads when you can have one. Or better yet, maybe you want none~" he shoves the weapon in her lap, while being careful not to touch it. He tells her how to get rid of the safety and shoot, but Miku was too taken aback by it. She urges him to take the firearm back, but he was having none of it
"Oh dear. You dont have to do it. Consider it an option" he soon reaches for something else and hands her. Miku thinks its bullets, but its actually candy "Its fruit flavoured. Strawberry or citrine. But more importantly. Relax. Take it. You might need it"
"But"
"No buts. I insist. Protect yourself without your quirk."
"But-"
"Now now. It was nice hearing you, but it is time for us to go seperate ways" he says and shoos her away. Miku soon puts the item in her backpack and hastily leaves the limo.
The man smiles at her as she closes the door. For a moment she thought she heard him say Goodbye Miku. But... she didnt tell him her name. Did she imagine it? Before she could ask, she sees the vehicle already drove off. Was it a dream. She feels around in her backpack. The metal item was there, she could feel it.
She has a weapon.
She has a weapon
a weapon.
